Can a drug addict for love?

Drug addiction is an important mental health problem that not only involves the person who suffers from it, but also their partner, family and friendships. If your partner is consuming drugs or alcohol in a way that threatens their health, relationships, economy, professional career or even their life, you will undoubtedly feel overwhelmed and desperate to help you get out of such a situation.

Being in a relationship with someone who has a substance addiction is a challenge, since it involves a lot of pain to observe its loss of control and self -destruction, how it seems to have become another person and be a victim of the lies and deceptions that generally accompany The addiction. ¿It is possible to help someone out of the addiction trap? ¿An addict can change for love? In this psychology-online article we explain it to you.

1. How is the love of a drug addict
2. Can the character of a drug addict change for love?
3. How to act if your partner consumes drugs

How is the love of a drug addict

To understand how the love of a drug addict is, you have to take into account a series of aspects that we will show you below.

Substances change people

Addiction is a brain reward circuit disorder that harms the self -control and ability of a person to make decisions in your own benefit. These changes cannot be reversed overnight and requires constant time and effort to establish new patterns of thought and behavior to replace the ancients, dominated by intense desires to consume and get the drug.

When someone falls into an addiction, the person who loves disappears, at least until the affected individual begins to treat his problem. The person you remember may have been kind, fun, generous and affectionate, but now it behaves selfishly, rude and irritable. It takes time to adapt to this new reality and it is very normal to respond to the addicted person as if it were before.

Addiction and deception go hand in

People who are next to addicts tend to respond to the person they remember, which makes it so easy to fall into manipulations and betrayal. In addition, another way in which addiction is manifested is through lies, which protects the disease and perpetuates it.

Understanding this reality does not mean that you should accept the lie, but you must understand where it comes to stop taking it as something personal. Only then can you avoid pain and resentment. In this article, we explain what to do when they lie to you and you know the truth.

Addicted do not follow the same logic as other people

When an addiction is rooted, The person's reality is distorted. For this reason, you can't convince her to see things in the way you see them. Lying around consumption is a form of survival for addicts. The real change will come when there is absolutely any other option than to leave addiction behind, not from your attempts to provide information or from logic.

Can the character of a drug addict change for love?

In general, people tend to avoid changes in our lives until we feel uncomfortable with the previous situation to open ourselves to a different option. In the case of substance addiction, this trend is extreme, so until the moment in which losses occur social, affective or economic, or the pain that addiction produces does not boost a change, they will continue to consume.

Drugs provide momentary benefits to addicts, until the effect passes and need to resort to the substance. In this way, addicts resort to any means to avoid the adverse effects of abstinence.

How much the effects of addiction last

The changes in the brain responsible for these maladaptive behaviors They can persist for months or even years as a consequence of consumption. As a result, drug addiction ends up making decisions by the person and, in most occasions, they are very different from those that would have taken in a state of sobriety. For this reason, when the addict begins to recover, he will feel guilty and shame.

These feelings have been masked and hidden for a long time, so suddenly it is affected by a wave of overwhelming feelings to which it must face. That is when, under these conditions, Addicts can love people.

When prepared to recover from their illness, take responsibility for their actions, validate the negative impact that its consumption has had on others and try to repair the pain caused, So, they can start building with their partner a healthy relationship.

How to put limits to an addicted person

If you have a relationship with an addict, the limits you will have to mark will be stricter than they are with other people in your life. Put limits will avoid strengthening substance consumption and can help you not be constantly frustrated or angry with your partner's addiction.

It is common for people's loved ones with addiction problems to feel guilty when they establish limits. Even so, establish limits firm, But with love, It is one of the greatest demonstrations of love, since it means that you value enough to the person and the relationship to prevent it from being destroyed by alcohol or drug abuse.

On the contrary, subtracting importance to the problem will only make the behavior of the addict worsen, since it will have no consequence if you can transfer any limit. In short, it is important be clear about the consequences of exceeding the limits. Be sure to respect and keep them so as not to generate confusion.

How to act if your partner consumes drugs

Next, we will show you some tips on how to act if your partner consumes drugs and/or alcohol.

1. Accept reality

When we face an overwhelming and painful reality, denial is a way of protecting Not to face her. Although it may seem easier to pretend that everything is fine, this will only allow your partner to continue consuming without their behavior having any consequence and, therefore, will not have reasons to set aside their addiction.

2. Set limits

The limits are expectations or pacts established in the couple to know which behaviors are acceptable and which do not. As we have mentioned above, the limits are very important because they protect your health and personal well -being. In this way, you can help your partner, since you will find yourself better in the relationship.

In addition, the limits can also be molded over time depending on the circumstances. It's okay to say no to behaviors you could have accessed in the past. Some Common limits examples that can be agreed through conversations with your partner are:

• Do not allow the consumption of alcohol and other drugs at home.
• Do not get home under the effects of substances.
• Do not allow the entry of friends who consume alcohol or other drugs at home.
• Absence of communication when it is intoxicated. (There are no calls, text messages, etc.)

3. Know the difference between help and permissiveness

In general, it is normal to help the people we want when they need it, but there is a difference between help and permissiveness. Help strengthens the person in their recovery, While permissiveness reinforces addiction.

Help take into account the effects, benefits and long -term consequences of abstinence and recovery. Instead, With permissiveness an immediate relief is provided, ignoring the long -term negative consequences. Providing money, accommodation or abandoning healthy limits are some forms of permissiveness that will keep addiction alive. The easier to keep your addiction, the less reasons you will have to recover from it.

4. NO MINIMITES ADDICTION

Being in a relationship with an addict is an extremely complicated and difficult situation and, often, your answers to your partner's behaviors can generate guilt, pain and doubts. It is easy to feel judged for withdrawing support, but sometimes this is the only possible answer. When this happens, it is important to remind your partner that, when you decide to do things differently, your arms will be open.

Similarly, do not minimize addiction, Do not ignore it, do not justify it or cover. This is not the way, since it stands in the path of its healing, protecting it from the consequences that generate its addiction. Do not get carried away by lies or guilt. Your partner can get angry or sad, but sooner or later he will understand that their behaviors are no longer valid due to your determination.

5. Do not blame him for his addiction

Remember that addiction is a mental health problem. Addiction is already strongly impregnated with shame and guilt. Therefore, avoid blaming your boyfriend of his addiction, since he blames the addict of his situation will not provide solutions and will only add more suffering. If you want to better understand how addiction works, we recommend you read this article about what an addiction is: definition and why it happens.

6. Do not try to "solve"

Understand the difference between what you can do (change your way of thinking or the things you do) and what you cannot change (your partner or any other person, in general). If you have an affective bond with a person who has an addiction, you should know that the fact that I stop consuming and what He recovers is his responsibility.

You cannot "fix" or "solve" your problem. All you can do is help mitigate your pain with your love, compression, empathy and, of course, establishing healthy limits.

7. Educate yourself

If you want to help your partner, it is very important to understand the consumption of substances and the available resources. When doing this, not only You will be more trained to make better decisions, but you will also be informed when your partner decides that he is ready to seek help.

Some important aspects to inform yourself about substance addiction are the biological foundations of addiction and the brain changes they produce or environmental triggers such as consumption partners and substances availability, etc.

In addition, it is also important to familiarize the appropriate terms, since this will avoid stigmatizing language. Thus, You can communicate better with your partner and address your condition more constructively.

8. Relapses are possible

Addiction is not a linear disease, but is full of ups and downs. Try to look at your partner's progress, don't look for perfection. You don't see a step back like a failure. Recovery never occurs linear forward and backward steps are part of the process. During the recovery of an addiction, it is possible that relapses occur.

Although some people achieve a long -term recovery in their first attempt, others can take several attempts for several years.

9. Find help and do not be a isolated

Unfortunately, today alcohol addictions or other drugs are still accompanied by shame and stigma. It is normal for loved ones from an addict tend to isolate themselves, however, this does not mean that you should do it.

Talk to friends, family and people close to you. Share your experience with them and let you also take care of you and empathize with your discomfort. Besides, seek professional help and advice of specialists as soon as possible the difference.

10. Don't forget about yourself

In the same way that it is the responsibility of the addict to identify his problem and put himself in treatment, it is also your responsibility Identify and meet your needs, concerns and your discomfort. Deleting this part of you will make you more exhausted, both emotionally and physically, which is harmful, both for you and your partner and your relationship.

Without a doubt, not abandon yourself/ is one of the most important things you can do for your partner. It is an act of love to offer you support to find available treatment options, while at the same time Do not lose sight of what you need to be happy and be healthy.

You can't help your partner if you can't help yourself. Keeping your own routines, hobbies, personal care and concerns, while supporting your partner in their recovery, is a way of creating resilience.

eleven. Sometimes the only option is to leave

There are many factors that can determine a relationship, so only with love is not enough. Intimate relationships are full of complexity and nuances, even more so when your partner has a problem with substance abuse. Therefore, when you feel that the person Prioritize consumption to the relationship and endanger your well -being, It will be time to end the relationship.

Put away It does not mean that you stop loving him, but in a relationship the responsibility is shared. If your partner cannot be related in a healthy way, it is time to interrupt contact. In this article you will find information about how to know when to finish a relationship.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Can a drug addict for love?, We recommend that you enter our category of couple therapy.