Is it used to count up to 10 so as not to get carried away by anger?

How many times have we heard of the famous technique of counting up to 10 before letting ourselves be? Surely we have tried to carry out with more or less success. Faced with a situation that caused us a certain anger and in order to avoid a much worse scene, many of us have told ourselves "I'm going to count up to 10". But, Has it worked for us? Where does the success of this technique reside?

Throughout this article, on the one hand, we will investigate an investigation that was carried out at the University of New York on What variables influence the success of counting up to 10. And, on the other, it will be deepened how to improve this practice to make it as effective as possible. Prepared? Well, let's start!

Content

• It depends on the consequences
• Can you train?
• How to train the technique?
  • Full attention to count up to 10
  • Relive situations
  • Situation in situ
• What's behind this technique?
• Conclusion
• Recession

It depends on the consequences

A study by Osgood and Muraven, from the University of New York, and published in 2015 in the article Self-Control Depletion Does Not Diminish Attitudes Aboutbeing Prosocial But Does Diminish Prosocial Behaviors, They investigated this technique. The findings they found were somewhat surprising. Apparently counting up to 10 can help us control our anger when we can have negative consequences towards us. For example, if a boss criticizes us for something we have not done, telling 10 seconds can help us calm if we know we play a dismissal when our boss. 

However, if the negative consequences do not exist, that is, if we knew to download our anger will not bring us any reprisals, count up to 10 not only can we calm, but aggravate our reaction and be more intense. The 10 seconds become a time when the anger is cultivated and bombarded with rabies that do not do more and more than accumulate and in the end we end up exploding.

Can you train?

Despite this, counting up to 10 can be an effective technique. Of course, it will require a little training on our part. The background of the technique is to leave a margin of time for the emotion of anger, anger or anger to decrease and do not exploit. However, it is not enough to have up to 10, it depends on the self -control that we have about ourselves. Maybe some people have more self -control and when starting the counting, but others, even if they count up to 100, will continue rabid.

How to train the technique?

Like any other skill, So that counting up to 10 is effective we must integrate a series of instructions and train them. It is even important to note that some will need to count to 20 instead of 10. In this sense, a margin of freedom is left for each one to establish their number, perhaps on 12, 15 or 21. But how to start working this technique that can free us from situations that we can later regret?

Full attention to count up to 10

First of all, Let's start with the technique of mindfulness in a simple way. We take attention to the abdomen and with each breathing cycle (inspiration-aspiration) we will have one and so on up to ten. We will realize that even if it is only up to ten, when we go for the four, we may have lost ourselves. This is a sign that we are not used to controlling our mind and that it is she who controls us. Therefore, when we live an adverse situation, the mind takes control over us and enters anger.

The goal is that we can complete the cycle up to 10 and repeat it several times without losing attention. Between cycle and cycle we can rest the attention for a few seconds and start over. If we want to improve our practice and go further, when we are able to do it up to 10 we can increase to 21. The objective of this technique is that we are able to control our attention to control our mind. And, on the other hand, to train ourselves in breathing, since it is a key factor in the relaxation of the central nervous system.

Relive situations

Secondly, when we are already able to control our attention, We will revive situations that still cause us to anger. Who does not remember from time to time any time or a situation or person that angels us? Thus, we will bring that situation or person to our mind and we will leave, without forcing, that our emotion of anger begins to activate. If the emotion of anger is not activated, we must not force it, since it can be a sign that we have overcome that moment.

On the other hand, if the situation continues to obfusca, As soon as we notice that anger begins to seize us we will begin to breathe and count to 10 or 21 (or the number that best suits us). A fundamental aspect is to focus all the attention on breathing, in this way, we stop attending the stimulus that activates us and at the same time the breath relaxes us.

Situation In situ

In third place, We will take advantage of all those situations that create a certain state of anger to practice. Many people create some nervousness to expect a tail in the supermarket, or in a jam, etc. There are also situations like not finding something we are looking for or that the dish we were cooking does not come out as we want. In this way, when we live situations that are a bit unpleasant we will begin our breathing process and count to 10.

All this aims to train for when we have to face more extreme or unpleasant adverse situations. In this way, by taking advantage of any day -to -day life, we will be making our lives a constant learning that, without a doubt, It will help us relate to external events in a healthier way.

What's behind this technique?

One of the objectives of the technique of counting up to 10 is Disable the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and activate the parasympathetic nervous system (SNP). The SNS is responsible for activating in situations before which we have to flee or defend ourselves and the SNP is activated when the situation ends. For example, if we see a shadow in the dark we can activate when thinking that it is a thief (the SNS is activated) but then we realize that it was a cat and relax (the SNS is deactivated and the SNP is activated).

But not only that, but also by changing the focus of attention and relaxing them, we will stop giving importance to the stimulus that activates us. In this way, we will take distance from the situation or the person and gradually We will move away from the stimulus and we will gain the freedom to not get carried away by rage.

Conclusion

As we have seen throughout the article, counting up to 10 can be effective, but not because yes, but after training. It is striking to observe how at the physical level we take care not to fall patients, to reinforce our muscles, etc. But at the interior level we only work when we are facing an adverse situation. That is why our emotional intelligence and Learn to control the mind instead of controlling us.

Recession

Osgood, j. And Muran, M. (2015). Self-Control Depletion Does Not Diminish Attitudes Aboutbeing Prosocial But Does Diminish Prosocial Behaviors. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, (37), 68-80.