Can you feel emotional but not physical attraction?

Attraction and desire constitute great unknown mysteries of which we talk little. There are different types of attraction and levels or nuances. The attraction we feel for someone is always different from what we can feel for someone else and then, ¿How can we know if what we feel is attraction or not?

In this Psychology-online article, we will clarify what the attraction is, we will talk about the differences between physical emotional attraction and emotional attraction and we will answer one of the most frequent questions that arises when we speak this type of topics: ¿You can feel emotional but not physical attraction? Keep reading to know the answer.

1. What is attraction
2. Differences between physical and emotional attraction
3. Can you feel emotional attraction, but not physical for a person?
4. What to do when there is no physical attraction?
5. What if I don't feel physical attraction for anyone?

What is attraction

To begin to clarify in these uncertain lands, we will define attraction as the strength or capacity that a person has to get our attention, please and make us experience strong emotions, that make us want to be close to it and/or look actively, emotions that sometimes even become uncontrollable or annoying because they invade us and we cannot handle or manage them as we would like.

The etymology of the word attraction comes from Latin "Attractio" And it refers to the action of bringing someone or something that seems attractive to us or our liking, either for physical, sexual, emotional, romantic, intellectual, sensory or friendly reasons. It is "something" that moves or directs in a certain direction, that is, attraction drags us to look for the desired object.

Differences between physical and emotional attraction

The reasons why someone generates us and is attractive to us can be many and can range from something sensory, physical or sexual to something more loving, romantic, friendly or sentimental.
¿How can we differentiate what kind of attraction is what we feel for the other person? Next, we see the differences between physical and emotional attraction:

1. Physical attraction

Physical attraction is the one we know the most. It is that feeling that we experience for another that attracts us for conscious or unconscious reasons and that moves us strongly to look for a meeting and connection in the sexual or sensory plane. Initially, We seek to be close to that other and generate physical encounters With him, through physical contact, friction, caresses, pampering, etc.

The level of intensity of this attraction will depend on the level of contact with the other, on the relationship generated with it and the fantasies that can be generated around that person.

1. Conscious physical attraction: The other seems attractive to us and that is why our attention, we seek to generate a closeness with him.
2. Unconscious physical attraction: It is when the other loves and we do not know why, when we feel a certain chemistry or connection that we do not understand very clearly or can explain. A sexual encounter and connection is sought but there is something much stronger that moves us to want to look for that encounter with him another.

2. Emotional or romantic attraction

Emotional attraction is the desire to be close to another person who It attracts us for its way of being, values, by its personality, for its way of acting, for its intellectual attributes, etc. We seek to be close to this person and generate a connection with her for something that goes beyond the merely physical. Many times this type of attraction is closely linked to deeper emotions. This type of attraction is closely linked to the feeling of admiration for the other with whom we seek to have a romantic relationship and a special connection, which goes beyond the merely sexual.

We believe that person has much to contribute and teach us and we want to spend our time with her.

Can you feel emotional attraction, but not physical for a person?

Love and what initially unites us with a couple is a mixture of a physical attraction and romantic attraction. Regardless of what is first and which later, both are present at the beginning of any relationship. The other catches our attention for something physical and something emotional and it is that mixture of ingredients that directs us to want to establish a love relationship. Since we find in that person things that make it unique to our eyes and make us want to choose it over the other alternatives we can have.

However, as we talked initially, regardless of the fact that there is attraction, there are variations in the nuances with which we experience those sensations and in that game of variables We can feel more emotional-romantic attraction than physical, What is initially no problem but over time could generate conflicts on a personal level or in the couple.

Also in pairs who have been different for many years factors that can generate physical attraction and desire to decrease:

• Routine can be an ingredient to reduce desire.
• Interpersonal conflicts and tensions at the couple or family level.
• Communication problems.
• The economic problems.
• Physical distance.
• The lack of activities together.
• Disconnection and distancing at the sexual level.
• The lack of communication on the couple's fantasies and sexual desires.

It is important to keep in mind that couples are changing over the years and that the intensity of initial sexual desire decreases and modifies. After being many years in relation it is normal for the couple to feel much more emotional, intellectual and romantic attraction than the initial initial attraction, since not only the bodies are modified with the passing of time, but also the stage of falling in love and with it our desire towards the other is reduced, so it is necessary to work on maintaining the active desire. A couple who wants to build and keep the relationship active needs to open up to new possibilities and be constantly reactivating desire through games, rituals and intimate moments that help them feel again the emotions that united them at the beginning.

What to do when there is no physical attraction?

That there is no initial sexual desire does not mean that there will never be, that cannot be generated or cannot work on it. Physical attractiveness also depends on many factors and some can modify and use them in our favor.

The initial desire is important for two people to feel attracted, but not all people who attract strongly end up having a relationship and many people who do not initially attract end up being a couple.

The important thing to know here is that there are many ways in which we can be attracted to the other, that all kinds of attraction can be enhanced, that Initial physical attraction is important but not decisive And that a person who seems attractive may not seem attractive to another. Each person likes different people and that is normal and it happens because many unconscious and subjective factors move when we will be attracted to someone.

So ¿What can we do when we feel that we have no physical attraction with someone who attracts us emotionally? First, you have to understand that sexual attraction is based on something biological and reproductive and that then becomes an erotic and sexual desire. In addition, the sexual interest generated by a person will depend on many factors:

1. The personal image: something that seems very attractive to initially are the people who look and smell good. Personal hygiene and personal care that a person has himself is something that is extremely attractive. Because it denotes self -care, a concern and good self -esteem. The personal image enhances and increases our physical attractiveness and we can work it through habits, sport, dress and smell well, care for our personal hygiene ..
2. Physical attractiveness: The attractive will be determined according to our conscious and unconscious beauty parameters, which are given from: what is beautiful at the social level and what is simile to us and our significant people, those that have made us happy and delivered a lot of love (Father , mother, grandparents, etc.). Unconsciously, we tend to look for people similar to people in our history.
3. Behavior and gestures: The ways of looking, to smile, to walk, the sympathy ..., are those things that are part of the nonverbal behavior and the charism that characterizes certain people and that is extremely attractive to us. This is something you can also work on.
4. Chemistry and smell: pheromones are chemical substances that emerge from our bodies to generate sexual attraction and that others can perceive through smell. They are odorous chemical signs that link us to others through attraction, we all have pheromones and there are ways or less. We can increase our pheromones level by changing our food.
5. Reciprocity: We are attracted to the people we are interested in and show us interest, they show us attention, take care of us, respect and care about us. We want to feel loved and important to the other.
6. Seduction and game: It is important not to lose the desire in the couple and that is something that is not always easy, because after a while it begins to fall into the routine and the initial desire begins to decrease. A way to maintain active desire can be achieved through seduction games, which together with a good imagination and trust maintain the flame and generate a greater connection and union in the couple.

What if I don't feel physical attraction for anyone?

The lack of sexual desire can have several reasons. Among other:

• It could be due to psychological and physiological factors.
• Excessive stress.
• A block for trauma or bad experience.
• An asexual person, who feels intellectual and emotional attraction for other people, but not sexual attraction.
• A demisexual person, who needs an affective relationship with an person as a condition for experiencing sexual attraction.
• A person who is rethinking his sexual orientation.

What determines a situation as a problem is when, independent of what society imposes as normality and what others believe and/or profess what is fine, this constitutes a problem for the person who suffers from it and generates it conflicts on a personal level and in connection with others.

If a person does not feel desire, or physical attraction for another and this constitutes a problem for that person, it is recommended to request help from a professional that can help you find the cause of this situation and what is the most recommended in each case. As well as evaluating whether it is a situation that has always been given like this or begins to be presented from a particular moment.

There is nothing more distressing than feeling lost and disoriented about ourselves and finding the answers to these questions help us feel calm, in peace and resume the reins of our lives.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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