Long -term love relationships and the prohibited fruit hypothesis

How to build more satisfactory, healthy and happy long -term relationships.

Do you think the flame of love is intended to weaken or extinguish over the years? Is it true that long -term relationships end romantic love? Or is it that this depends on lovers and their ways to love?

Content

• What happens to long -term love?
• Prohibited fruit hypothesis
• The ironic process model
  • Links
  • References

What happens to long -term love?

Some schools of thought argue that love is intended to diminish, while others conclude that everything depends on lovers. Contrary to widely accepted beliefs, romance can persist in long -term relations; According to research, A stable and lasting relationship, which implies a mutual commitment and care, brings multiple psychological benefits, for individuals and society.

Romantic love has the intensity, commitment and sexual chemistry of passionate love, except the obsessive component. Passionate and obsessive love includes feelings of uncertainty, anxiety and promotes shorter relationships.

Romance does not have to vanites over time, it can progress towards a love love, where there is a stronger bond, due to companionship and friendship, which occur as a result of spending together adversities and pleasant moments. Romantic love can last a lifetime and lead to happier and healthier relationships, in turn.

Prohibited fruit hypothesis

One of the things that most hurt the couple's bond, is having love relationships with other people other than your partner by resorting to deception, especially when they both made a conscious and unconscious contract that the relationship would be exclusive. The deception in this context is usually one of the difficulties that costs the most work.

When the couple or the context, implicitly or explicitly, try to take away our freedom to pay our attention to an attractive person for us, this contributes to the perceived as more desirable that prohibits us, because they try to censor us in some way, here Several mechanisms of the phenomenon of reactance act.

The researchers call this the "prohibited fruit hypothesis”, It is based on the fact that people have cognitive perception that something is more desirable when prohibited or outside the limits. There is something in human nature that wants what it cannot have, or perhaps we can, but with consequences that can go from moderate to serious for our relationship, for ourselves and third parties that sometimes can also be the children, in the case of have them.

The ironic process model

This hypothesis goes hand in hand with the call: ironic process model, which suggests that The suppression of thoughts about something will lead to even more relevant to us. The more we try not to think about something, the more we think about it, running the risk, that this attraction can become an obsession.

In part, it is implicit in our biology to seek other desirable and attractive relationships for us. Therefore, it is advisable to try to maintain our relationship far from external influences that could put it at risk; Research has shown that not paying too much attention to people who are attractive to us, mainly in the sexual aspect it is one of the ways to protect our long -term relationships, and usually work promoting the success of the couple.

Become obsessed with impossible loves That they escape logic, it is something that commonly happens, so experts advise not to torment or stop our attention too much in them, not to invalidate in this way, other more realistic and convenient opportunities for us.

Those who do not find satisfaction in their relationships, but who in turn have not renounced that need to feel satisfied, are those that will be motivated to look for other alternatives that are attractive to them. However, the infidelity, can damage our relationship Since the trust It is one of the most taken into account to create aspects privacy, strengthen fellowship and friendship.

If you have experienced something similar within your relationship, whether you were betrayed or that you are the one who committed infidelity, it is important that you perform a most detailed and honest assessment, that helps you discern if you still love your partner , and if you want to continue with your relationship despite that stumbling; There are many things that can be done to heal, especially with psychological accompaniment, in case both parties decide, remember that Love is cultivated through our actions.

Links

• https: // psychcentral.com/Blog/Archives/2011/04/08/The-Forbidden-Fruit-In-Relationships/
• http: // www.APA.org/News/Press/Releases/2009/03/Romance-Relationships.ASPX

References

• ARTICLE: “Does A Long-Term Relationship Kill Romantic Love?"Bianca p. Acevedo, PHD, and Arthur Aron, PHD, Stony Brook University; Review of General Psychology, Vol. 13, no. 1.
• Fisher, h. (2004). Why we love: nature and chemistry of romantic love. Santa Fe, Bogotá: Taurus thought.