What to do at the first date to conquer

The first appointments always produce a number of emotions. We are very nervous and anxious because everything goes perfect and product of that, when organizing, our mind is blank or we become extremely insecure when deciding. We do not know where to go, what to talk about, if it is right or wrong to do certain things and invade us the internal questions.

In psychology-online, we know that at that time we would love to have a guideline of ideas that helps us to think clearly and decite well to feel safe. That is why in this article we will talk about What to do at the first date to conquer: Plans, conversation issues and advice.

1. Where to go on the first date: options and places
2. Let them talk on the first date
3. Tips for your first date

Where to go on the first date: options and places

The first thing to decide is where we are going to meet and that will depend in part on the interest generated by the other person. Probably, if you are knowing someone for an application and you only want to get out of doubt the most usual is to be cited in a coffee or a bar, but when we talk about a person who interests you, you will undoubtedly want to make a difference.

First, it is important to be clear that the first date is to meet and therefore we recommend looking for a place where they can have a moment of connection and conversation. If they are only doing an activity and there is no room to chat, connect and know each other, a first approach will not be generated and if the physical and chemical attraction is not very intense, the appointment will hardly be repeated. Whatever your situation, for the first encounter we propose these ideas:

A different plan

It comes out of the usual. If you are knowing someone through an application, you have to keep in consideration that this person does not know anything about you and has never seen you more than by photo and that other people are knowing. So if you invite you to a cafeteria or bar you will be one more invitation, so I advise you to go to a place that comes out of the usual. If you are a person you already know and you want to impress it, with more reason I advise you to try something different and unusual.
Take that coffee in a park, buy a coffee to wear and drink it while they are knowing the city, look for a picturesque and different place. Any small change will generate in case a connection, there is already something different between you and the rest of your outings, and that will make you special before your eyes. In addition, every time we break the routine, we arrange in another way to things. Going to a new and different place will be an experience that both will remember and that will dye that memory of a positive sensation that also during the appointment will favor the openness to enjoy, relax and laugh. Some examples of different plans are:

• Picnic or coffee in the park.
• Travel together the city.
• Assist a guided tour For the city, there will always be new corners to know or that one of the two is the guide and shows the other his favorite corners.

Play with the senses

The initial attraction enters through the view. But the more sensitive stimuli we have, the more attracted we will feel for the other person. Ponte handsome, put perfume and look for places that stimulate the senses: view, ears, smell, touch and taste. The more novelty, the better the association that will be recorded in your mind of that memory will be. Some atypical ideas that stimulate the senses:

• Gastronomic experiences, as tastings or tastings.
• Molecular cocktail bar.

• Bars with live music

• Show Dance or Theater

• A dance class

Ask his preferences

Be innovative, but cautious at the same time. You are knowing the other person and the idea is that both or both of you feel comfortable. Before proposing any idea, and prior to the appointment, ask and make a small testing of the interests of the other person and base your decision considering the interests of both.

Funny ideas

Live a moment full of laughs that will stimulate dopamine at the brain level which will make the experience pleasant and relaxing for both. Some fun ideas for a first date:

• A monologue.
• Humor comedy in cinema.
• Theme park.

A first event in which you can share interest in common is a very good idea to break the ice and generate an immediate connection. They are shared experiences that will facilitate the issue of subsequent conversation and make the conversation flow and can be known from their interests. If both are super active people, passionate about the kitchen or you fascinate art, you can find an ideal plan to share. I leave you some ideas of places to go on a first date based on your interests:

• Go to a sporting event.
• Do a sport together.
• Go to a kitchen class together.
• Go to an art fair, museum exhibition, photography, etc.
• Bike ride.
• Make an excursion together.

In this article we talk about how to calm the nerves before a first date.

Let them talk on the first date

Another point that worries us when having a first date and overwhelming us is being able to generate a good conversation, which makes the other interested in us, a good time and then want to repeat the appointment. We all want to generate a special connection and an interesting, fluid and stimulating conversation. But, ¿How can we make that happen? ¿What do we need to achieve it?
First, it is important to clarify that being a “good conversationalist” is a skill that can be exercised and working. There are people very able to seduce who they are, since they achieve a connection and good conversation with whoever. ¿What do we have to take into account to achieve that?

Topics to speak on the first date

Let's see conversation issues for the first date:

• Our passions and hobbies. Talking about what moves us, like, passionate and makes us vibrate in life generates an impressive initial opening. He relaxes us and makes us feel comfortable immediately. In addition, it is extremely attractive to see another talk about what you are passionate about and you can find many points in common with the other person.
• How we met. Initially, talking about how we met is to open an easy conversation for both and that can help things begin to flow more easily. Talk about what experience was, what we felt, believed or thought. You can even expose our fears and past insecurities, to speak of what it is difficult for us.
• Short and long term goals. Ask the other what he wants in life, how he imagines from here to a few more years, who would like to be and what he would like to have, he gives us a lot of information from the other. Brings us closer. It helps us to know it deeply and know what situation is and what awaits, of life, of us at that time and of a future possible relationship.
• What we like about the other. At the end of the appointment, it is always good to reinforce the good. Show the other what we liked of him, what we liked that he did for us, how new we discovered and that amazed us. This reinforces the other, makes it feel comfortable and safe and helps us generate more connection. In addition to also showing the path of what we like, in case the appointment is repeated and wants to seduce us again, you already know how.

Here you will find more information about how to start a conversation with a person you like.

Attitudes during conversation

Some important tips. ¿What we have to take into account during the first appointment?

• Listen more to talk. Something very important when having a good conversation is to try to listen to the other and not only hear it to answer. Give it a space to be who is, free and without prejudice and so that we can really know it. In addition to providing us with a lot of information, it helps the other relax and feel very comfortable by our side.
• Use the sense of humor. Generate a relaxed environment where we laugh freely, of funny things, of ourselves, of what happens around us. Laughter increase dopamine in our brain, relax us and make us happier, it is certainly a good tool to use in our first date.
• Look at the other in the eye when you talk, show him that you are attentive to him-she and what he says. We want you to know that you are interested in listening to him.
• A fluid conversation. When I talk about a fluid conversation, I mean that the conversation is giving and we will go for different conversation issues. Of those conversations that we know where they start but not where they end. Because they catch us and lead us to open and know things that we didn't expect to know. To generate this listens to the other, pay attention to what it says and avoid monopolizing the conversation or making an interrogation.

Questions to ask on the first date

¿What questions can we ask to connect on the first appointment?

• ¿What is most passionate about in life? ¿What are your hobbies? ¿What could you do without paying you for it? ¿When was the last time you could not sleep about how excited and excited you were with something? ¿What was that something? ¿What topics you could spend all day speaking?
• ¿What is the most important thing that has happened to you in life? ¿What is the most beautiful thing they have told you? ¿What do you feel proud so far? ¿What do you think you need to get to feel satisfied with yourself?
• ¿What is the last thing you have done and that has made you proud of you? ¿What is the most embarrassing that has happened to you lately?
• ¿What caught your attention from me and why you wanted to stay? ¿What has been the worst that has happened to you in an appointment, and the best? ¿What would your ideal appointment, what would you have to have and what not?
• ¿What do you appreciate most about your best friend? ¿What would your friends say about you?
• ¿What are your short and long -term plans? ¿What would you like to achieve in life? ¿What do you need about that? ¿How do you imagine in 5 more years?

It is not necessary to ask all questions. The idea is that you do the one that interests you the most and with which you feel more comfortable and the conversation will flow alone. If that does not happen, here you have several questions to get out of the way and keep knowing the other. Here you can see +100 questions to meet someone you like.

Tips for your first date

An extremely common doubt is to what extent we must arrive when leaving for the first time with someone and what is advised and the truth is that this issue is very subjective and depends on many, many factors.

¿Have relationships on the first date or kissing the first date is fine? In my opinion, one should always do what the heart dictates and listened to each moment. There are times that we connect with someone in an impressive way and do not do things because we believe we should not, which is very soon, that it is bad strategy, etc., And then we regret. Other times, we follow what we believe that the other wants or should do and turns out.

¿Until when it is recommended to wait to kiss or bed with someone? This depends on many factors:

• What do we want. ¿We want to see what happens, we want a fleeting encounter, we want a relationship, we want to meet the other before deciding what we want? Before deciding anything, it is important to question what we want, in order to act in line with our desires and interests and not sabotage ourselves. The idea is not to feel guilty or repentant later.
• How we work. The importance of knowing how we are after having sex or kissing someone is also extremely important. There are people who can divide very clearly the sex of love and others who feel in love, lost, confused or empty, after having a sexual relationship. You can only identify it by checking back and seeing how you behave in each case and what makes you feel more comfortable and more uncomfortable. The idea, as we said before, is not to regret it, or sabotage ourselves.
• The desire is not everything. It depends on what we want, but if we only get carried away by desire, we put aside a lot of things. As I said before, everything depends on what we are looking for, but if you are looking for someone really, having sex immediately may take you or lead you to confuse you a bit and make it difficult or block the process of knowing other aspects. There is no recipe to be a couple, not just a way to relate. Usually, both men and women attract us more that is difficult for us to get. Desire and attraction increase to the extent that we delay things a bit. We also leave space for fantasy and to generate more and more sexual desire and tension.
• What we expect and what we really want. If we talk about kissing or not on the first date, perhaps also depends on our intention and what generates being with the other person. A kiss allows us to identify how much chemistry we have with the other, demonstrates interest and desire for the other, it is an indicator that there is mutual attraction. But if the other does not finish us, if we do not feel comfortable or safe or if we simply want to kiss the other person we do not have to do it.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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