What to do when your partner is sad

When a person is sad it is not only very hard for her, but for the people around them. Sadness can undermine your self -esteem, weakening your ability to give and receive affection. If your partner is sad, you may feel distressed and don't know what to do. You want to help you desperately, but your efforts seem not to bear fruit and keep seeing sad every day.

Every time you try to help you, offer solutions and "fix" the problem, it seems that things only get worse. You feel helpless, that you cannot help you and, in some way, you begin to feel despair and/or sadness similar to your partner by not being able to do anything about it. So, ¿What is your role? ¿What can you do when your partner is sad? In this Psychology-online article you will find the answer to these questions.

1. How to support your partner in difficult times
2. It offers concrete support
3. Be compassionate
4. Talk about treatment options
5. Express love and interest
6. Listen to your partner without judging
7. Keep the hope
8. Try to point to your little victories
9. End the myths
10. Look for reliable information on the subject
11. Don't forget about yourself

How to support your partner in difficult times

When you see your partner suffer It is natural to want to do something about it. Probably, you have already tried to help you, trying to solve your problems or giving them ideas about what to do to feel better, but every time you try to help it it seems more decayed. This situation can make you feel anger or anger because you are trying everything, but nothing seems to work. However, you must keep in mind that there is no "magical solution" to relieve someone's sadness.

In this sense, Esther Perel^[1] He points to us that when a person is depressed, he feels weak, dejected, without energy, without libido and without hope, but interpersonally has much power, since he activates others to worry about her to try to make him feel better. The Belgian psychologist also points out that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.

In this sense, Andrew Solomon^[2] explain what love, Although it does not prevent sadness, yes It has a buffer effect on the mind and protects it from itself. You cannot "fix" and make your partner's sadness disappear, but neither does the positive impact of love and support of the relationship have.

So, if you wonder how to encourage your partner when it's sad, the best you can do is be there for her, without trying to "fix" or "solve" your sadness. It is difficult to believe that what is needed is simply listening and respect Your space. Remember that your partner did not wake up one day and decided to be sad. Remember that you are in the same team. The situation is difficult for both, but neither you nor your partner is to blame.

It offers concrete support

There are several ways in you can encourage your partner when it's sad. One of the most important is support it in difficult times. It is possible that someone who fights depression does not know how to answer a broad question like "what can I do to help you. Instead, it offers specific and concrete support how to sit next to him in silence, accompany him to take a walk or help him with day -to -day basis.

Be compassionate

¿What to do if your partner is very sad? In these cases, it is very important to be compassionate. Compassion is the combination of empathy directed for the well -being of a person. Empathy does not mean feeling sorry for someone, but "being with" and actively seeing the situation through the perspective of the other. Empathy becomes compassion when there is also will to act on behalf of the person we love.

Talk about treatment options

Unfortunately, there is still a stigma about mental health problems. Maybe your partner and you think that it is "only one phase" or that sadness can be overcome, without taking into account the difference between being depressed or sad. You may not be sure if the situation requires professional help. In any case, it is better to get help from the beginning to reduce the duration and severity of the situation.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy has proven effective in treating sadness, one of the symptoms of depression. Although you want to encourage your partner, you can not diagnose or perform a treatment plan, but you can Share the idea that there is help available. Often, what most encourages people to go to therapy for the first time is not their own intrinsic desire, but the concern of their loved ones.

Express love and interest

If your partner is sad and feels bad about herself, it is convenient Recoded that you love her and respect her. In addition, it is good to share your concerns. You can tell your partner "I love you and I understand that you can't get out of bed" or "I appreciate you and I need you", instead of expressing concern that if you do not spabila, things will get worse.

Listen to your partner without judging

If your partner is sad, it is possible that he tends to isolate himself and not share what happens to him. However, you do not assume that loneliness is what your partner needs to meet better. One way to connect with your partner is when you feel comfortable to share your experience with you. When your partner says something about their experience and how they are living it, Animal to share more with you While listening without judging.

Keep the hope

Sadness usually goes hand in hand with hopelessness. Your partner not only has great discomfort, but feels that it will always be like this. Having hope is vital to encourage your partner. If you feel desperate, you can still choose hope and glimpse a better future. You can even say something like "I know that it seems that it will always be like this and I know that you have for difficult things before, but I have a lot of hope that you know this challenge".

Try to point to your little victories

Generally, people react better to criticism if they have positive support and reinforcement. So, in doubt what to do when your partner is sad, trat to concentrate on their achievements regardless of how small they seem.

If your partner has not dressed and one day he does, it is a great change and must be recognized. You can tell her that you imagine that it has been very difficult for her, but that you have realized that something has changed.

End the myths

Myths about mental health They can affect your compassion capacity and self -pity of your partner. As for sadness, there is a particularly harmful myth that sadness can be controlled. You may wonder what happens to my partner and why you can't even do the most basic tasks. In these cases, your partner may be even harder with himself and feel that he is worthless.

The point is that sadness cannot be eliminated by its own will, just as one cannot eliminate diabetes by their own will. Being sad is not an choice Not a character of character, but is an emotional state that affects the daily life of people who suffer from it and that may require treatment if it is chronified. For all this, supporting your partner in difficult times is very important.

Look for reliable information on the subject

You cannot control if your partner is sad, so the situation can be desperate and be out of control. In these cases, a way to gain a sense of control in your own life is informing you about the subject. To the educate you about the signs and symptoms of sadness, You will be less likely to blame your partner and, surely, you act more compassionately.

In this sense, it will also be more likely to understand what to expect and know where and how to help your partner if it is wrong psychologically. In this article you will find information about what sadness in psychology is.

Don't forget about yourself

Although your partner is sad, do not give up your interests or your friends. If you do not take care of yourself, you will end up feeling resentment towards her, which can undermine the relationship. While you support your partner, It is vital that you also take care of yourself.

Do what you need to feel good, to be sure and to stay healthy. Psychological therapy can help you navigate this balance, establish healthy limits and not lose yourself.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What to do when your partner is sad, We recommend that you enter our category of couple therapy.

1. Perel, e. (2007). Mating in Captivity: Unlocking erotic Intelligence (p. 272). New York, NY: Harper.
2. SOLOMON, TO. (1998). Anatomy of Melancholy. The New Yorker, 21.