What is post-coital dysphoria?

In general, there is a contemporary tendency to flee those unpleasant feelings, repressing our emotions on many occasions. But Sadness is also necessary. We demand to be happy and we are losing the ability to frustrate and sadden ourselves.

That is why sadness after sex surprises us. Sexual activity is considered by the vast majority of people as a desired and pleasant activity. Even so, for some people the opposite occurs and they arise sensations of discomfort after sexual act.

This desolation occurs regardless of the degree of satisfaction of sexual relationship, since it can be completely pleasant and yearned for by the person who suffers from it. They can suffer both men and women and is independent of age. Although it is called "depression", it is actually a feeling of sadness and desolation that usually disappears in minutes and, very rarely, it extends over time.

Content

• Possible causes of dysphoria
  • Influence of the amygdala
  • Psychological theories
• Can dysphoria be solved?
  • 1. Petting
  • 2. Sleep
  • 3. Chat
  • References

Possible causes of dysphoria

Although their causes are not known, experts have two possible hypotheses to explain it, The first is that this depression is related after intercourse with the activity of the tonsil. This is a gland whose function is to regulate emotions such as fear, anguish or anxiety. During sex this gland stops working, once the orgasm is released, the gland is activated again, and it seems that this sudden functioning of the amygdala causes such a sense of sadness to experience.

Another reason is The perception we have each and one of sex, This means that people who do not have a positive idea of ​​sex are more likely to have this type of reaction. The cause is because within them an internal conflict is created between what they have felt and what they think.

This type of sadness can last from several minutes to even several days, it will depend on the person and at the moment it is.

Influence of the amygdala

From the theory developed by Richard Friedman (2009) these feelings of dejection are related to the activity of the tonsil. The amygdala is a gland that regulates emotions such as fear or anguish and its activity practically disappears during sexual act. After orgasm, activity levels are restored again And this sudden increase in activity could cause feelings of sadness and anguish. Thus, during sex, we inhibit those thoughts that concern us or cause discomfort, but after the meeting it works again to recod us that the problem is still there. An example, would be couples with problems, that After sex the problems that had been inhibited, reappear.

Psychological theories

There are theories that explain that this feeling can be an unconscious way of suffering the separation that occurs after the enormous union that the sexual act means. During sex, emotions and sensations are very intense and the union is complete. When the relationship ends and the separation of this idealization of the union disappears And that is when the feelings of sadness invade.

There is also the theory that dysphoria occurs due to the beliefs of the person in relation to sex. Psychiatrist Debby Herbenick relates it to confused feelings due to education received, its beliefs and influences. If sex looks as a conflict, we are more likely to suffer depressive episodes due to the guilt that the act is.

In the case of men, psychiatrist Anthony Stone attributes it to the absence of a purpose after sexual encounter. For these men The end of sex is orgasm, once achieved, the purpose disappears And instead remains a feeling of vacuum.

Can dysphoria be solved?

Although each case is unique and it is always advisable to visit a therapist, a series of general measures can be taken so that this sadness affects our intimate relationships as little as possible.

1. Petting

Once sex is finished it is important dedicate a few minutes to the couple, It is a more affective moment, with caresses and kisses.

2. Sleep

Can be used to Sleep hugged To the person you have next, that makes us feel loved and our self -esteem will be increased.

3. Chat

Once relaxed, you can talk quietly with your partner, Thus it will be harder to fall into negative thoughts.

The idea is to promote links with our partner after sexual relationship and not feel bad if it appears. And if the discomfort is deep or endures in time, going to a good therapist can be of great help. There may be deeper factors, such as child abuse or other traumas, which would foster this dysphoria and therapy should be worked.

References

• Herbenick, d., Reece, m., Sanders, SA, Schick, V., Dodge, b., and Fortenberry, JD (2010). Sexual behavior in the United States: results of a national probabilistic sample of men and women from 14 to 94 years. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 7 (Suppl. 5), 255-265.
• Herbenock, d. Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered - For Better, 2012. SMARTER, Amazing Sex