What is Stashing in the couple and why you have to avoid it

One of the fundamental reasons why we form intimate and couple relationships is due to the need that all people have to feel loved, understood, protected by the other, seen and validated by who we are.

We want our relationships to include companionship, passion, friendship, that they fill us with purpose, feel special and important in the life of our partner or spouse and know what place we occupy in their lives. However, when in a relationship, instead of feeling recognized, we have the feeling that our partner is hiding us, it is possible that it is Stashing. In the following psychology-online article we will explain What is the Stashing in the couple and why you have to avoid it.

1. What is social networks Stashing
2. How to know if your partner makes you Stashing
3. Why you have to avoid Stashing in the couple
4. Stashing consequences for the couple

What is social networks Stashing

The term Stashing refers to the signs that Your partner does not include you in important areas of your life and hides you actively as, for example, avoiding publishing photographs with you on your social networks. We live submerged in the era of digital life, so not being accepted and spread in this medium can be very painful.

Even so, if it happens to you, you must take it with caution and Do not hurry to draw conclusions. That your partner does not want to go on your profile, it does not have to be an unequivocal case of Stashing Not an alarm sign that the relationship is in danger. It is important to remember that there are people who simply do not like social networks, do not devote time to them, do not provide fun or do not want to expose their private life in them.

¿It is normal for my partner to hide me on social networks?

At present, exposing our life in networks is normalized. Even so, we must bear in mind that this is also related to the image you create of yourself and the validation you receive from others. In this way, wanting to get our partner in our social networks could imply that you do not respect their will and I could have a negative impact on your relationship and in yourself.

However, sometimes the Stashing Nor is it only reduced to social networks. If you realize that your partner behaves affectionately, includes you in their plans, you have a place in your life or that you know your friends and family, simply It could be a person who is not active in social networks or that he prefers to keep his private life apart from them.

Similarly, expose your relationship public and constantly could harm us. According to García Garzón, sharing certain aspects of life as a couple could help validate the relationship and, in addition, strengthen the link with the other person thanks to the feeling of intimacy that is experienced. Garzón adds the nuance that a person It can be active in social networks and not show your partner and that these statements may be subject to insecurity and lack of confidence in themselves and in the relationship. If this is your case, in this article you will find information on how to overcome insecurity.

How to know if your partner makes you Stashing

If you wonder how to know if my partner hides me, then we will show you signs that can help you identify it:

• Do not meet any friend, known or familiar of your partner, despite having been dating for a while.
• Avoid going together to very busy places in which you can find acquaintances or friendships.
• Avoid publishing photos of both. He states that he does not publish photos together because the relationship does not have to be public, although he does with other people.
• Does not accept tags or It does not go up Stories with you.

However, before taking hurried conclusions or accusations, you must take into account that You cannot confuse social networks with reality From your day to day when assessing your relationship. Therefore, keep in mind that factors such as the duration of the relationship, the use that your partner makes of the networks, if you are afraid of "what they will say" or wants to protect their private life, among others, can influence their behavior.

In addition, not all signs that can act as possible indicators of Stashing They are applicable to all contexts. For this reason, we would not be talking about Stashing If your partner does not usually publicly share personal information, he is not interested in social networks, he needs more time to formalize the relationship, his family and friendship ties are not very narrow, etc.

Each relationship is a world, so, in case of doubt, Communication in the relationship is crucial to avoid misunderstandings. In this article you will see how to improve communication in the couple.

Why you have to avoid Stashing in the couple

¿What to do if they do me Stashing? In an interview for Daily Mail, the psychologist Hemmings^[1] He pointed out that the reason why some people do Stashing It could be the result of not thinking about the relationship with their partner in the long term, or that the person is not special enough to present their friends or family.

For this reason, there is avoiding this situation, since it would be a sign that One part of the couple does not take the other seriously, which causes the feeling of feeling used. The "Stasher", that is, the person who acts in this way with his partner, despite maintaining a romantic relationship, keeps his options open to meet other people, which It derives a lack of commitment for the couple and the relationship.

Another reason that would reflect why you have to avoid the Stashing is that the "stasher" acts for fear of showing their feelings for your partner and want to avoid feeling judged because I would like to give another image with other people, for example, of conqueror.

Another cause that causes the Stashing is that the "stasher" is ashamed. This causes a very unpleasant situation for the other person, which yearns for a deeper link in their relationship, and can feel judged.

Stashing consequences for the couple

One of the most worrying consequences of Stashing For the couple is the emotional suffering and psychological damage that causes in the person who suffers from it. We tell you the effects below:

• Feelings of inferiority With respect to your partner by considering not deserving of being included in your partner's life. Discover why I feel inferior to my partner and how to eliminate this feeling.
• Granting of long -term expectations and put the relationship on the tightrope.
• Make decisions based on fear or in the rage of which you can regret.

Some people prefer to maintain an open relationship for some time to meet someone and decide if they really want to start a relationship with that person. However, the fact that a person keeps you secret for too long would be enough to consider talking about this attitude and draw conclusions that help you make a decision.

There is nothing wrong with some people need to take things easy and move forward little by little, but it is important to differentiate between taking their time to do so and avoid it at all costs. If you think your situation resembles a case of Stashing, consider talking to your partner to try to clarify things. In order not to suffer disappointments, it is important to make clear what you need in your relationship. Only then can you check if it is worth continuing in the relationship or getting away from it.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What is Stashing in the couple and why you have to avoid it, We recommend that you enter our category of couple therapy.

1. Hemmings, j. (2017) Are You A Victim Off Stashing? Dailymail