What is phubbing and how it affects our relationships

We are immersed in the era of technology in which many adults state that they cannot live without it. With the widespread popularization of electronic devices, especially mobile phones, new interpersonal conflicts have emerged because there have been people who have begun to use them in a problematic way for them and their relationships.

¿You've ever been talking to someone who was distracted with his mobile? ¿You have had the feeling that I was more interested in your phone than in the conversation? If so, then they have made you phubbing. In this psychology-online article, we will tell you What is the Phubbing And how it affects our relationships. Discover more about this new reality in which mobile phones are interrupted, interfering or interfering with the communication and interactions of the couple, family and friendships in everyday life.

1. What is phubbing
2. How phubbing affects our close relationships
3. How phubbing in couple relationships affects
4. How to avoid phubbing

What is phubbing

The term Phubbing refers to the act of interrupting or Ignore a conversation in person to attend the phone mobile. Scientific evidence has shown that PhubbinG is a fairly common and normalized behavior today. Dimmick, Feaster and Hoplamazian^[1] They point out in a study that mobile phones are altering our daily routines and occupying our free time, due to their ability to meet a wide variety of needs and serve multiple purposes.

Thus, the characteristics of the mobile favor the Phubbing. We show you below for you to identify them:

• It has different functionalities: calculator, alarm, social networks, etc.
• Constitutes a form of entertainment During leisure or waiting times.
• You can give the feeling of feeling valued When interacting with other people through chats or social networks.

Although there is no doubt that technology can be used in many beneficial ways, as well as to communicate with people who live far, it is also likely to be harmful if it is not used correctly. Particularly, many people keep the mobiles near at all times, even next to their bed while sleeping, which encourages the feeling of being permanently connected, the information overload, the discomfort having to disconnect and/or turn off the mobile and the feeling of loss of control.

If you want to better understand these effects and their consequences, do not miss this article on technology addiction: what is, causes, symptoms, consequences and treatment.

How phubbing affects our close relationships

Mobiles are so popular and have such attractive characteristics that some people and families are beginning to use in a problematic way and that affects their personal relationships.

The misuse of technology translates at times when Technological devices are entrusted into communication and interactions family, friendships and couple, causing misunderstandings and conflicts. Most likely, these relational conflicts arise because the time spent mobile displaces the time that could be dedicated to the relationship.

An example of Phubbing It could be the fact of being aware of notifications when a friend is telling you a dilemma. As we can see, this phenomenon has become more than a desaul.

How phubbing in couple relationships affects

The almost omnipresence of mobiles can cause tension in relationships. A common complaint is when one of the members feels ignored because his spouse cannot separate himself from his mobile. Frequent interruptions when pending the screen cause the couple to feel disconnected and less present, which reduces the quality of the relationship.

In a study conducted at the University of Baylor, James Roberts and Meredith David^[2]found that high levels of Phubbing They are associated with less satisfactory relationships and More conflicts in the couple. This effect is even greater for those members of the couple with abandonment anxiety.

As you can see, the Phubbing It is especially problematic for those who feel insecure in their relationships. ¿Why people turn to mobiles instead of their partners? The possible reasons may be that the mobile is more entertaining or relaxing, their partner bores or bothers them. Moreover, if you are in a relationship that does not meet your emotional needs, you are more likely to resort to Phubbing.

How to avoid phubbing

Next, we will explain some strategies to avoid the Phubbing. ¡Do not miss it!

• Be more aware: Sometimes, you look at the mobile almost automatically without realizing. The key to avoiding Phubbing is to stay focused as long as possible on interaction with the other person and apologize if you need to check the phone. If you are in the middle of a conversation, try that time together count. Not only does the amount matter, but the quality, that is, that they are valuable and useful interactions.
• Be present in the here and now: It is important to be fully present at the time and avoid distracting yourself from conversation. The lack of presence and commitment in the meeting remains importance and weakens the interactions. When you are talking, leave the phone or keep it in your pocket. This will help you stay committed, conscious and concentrated at the time.
• Be open and transparent: To start and maintain a good connection with another person, it is important to listen and talk to emphasis. Being open, honest and transparent will help you create higher quality connections with other people. If you are trying to mask your feelings, you are likely to generate confusion in the other person and perceive you as a distant person.
• Practice active listening: It allows to assimilate what the person you are talking to, put it in your own words and provide you feedback. In addition, active listening results to possible clarifications and nuances that enrich the conversation.

What to do when someone makes you Phubbing

If it's you who do Phubbing, You should know that there are several ways to address the situation. We show you below:

• Don't ignore him Phubbing When it happens: As soon as someone makes you Phubbing, Put it on the table and do it obvious, always in a compassionate and outburst way. This will allow the person to know that the conversation you were having does not advance, that you are not going to ignore their distraction, but it is also important that you are willing to be flexible.
• Retakes conversation when there are no distractors: It is important to transfer the message that your time and your attention are important. If your interlocutor is distracted with your mobile, you can offer you to resume the conversation at another time. It is a gentle but effective way to solve the situation, since it generates awareness in the Phubber that their behavior has an impact on others.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What is phubbing and how it affects our relationships, We recommend that you enter our category of couple therapy.

1. Dimmick, j., Feaster, j. C., & Hoplamazian, G. J. (2011). News in the interstices: The Niches of Mobile Media in Space and Time. New Media & Society, 13(1), 23-39.
2. Roberts, j. TO., & David, M. AND. (2016). My Life have a scholars. Computers in Human Behavior, 54, 134-141.