Why does your teenage son feel that nobody understands it?

Teenagers usually have behaviors that baffle adults around them. For example, they can become very rude, critical and constantly seek to discuss with others. It is important to take into account that this type of behavior occurs because su cognitive development is in the formal operations stage. Thus, they have the ability to solve complex problems and formulate hypotheses, but it is difficult for them to deal with the contradictions between their mind and the outside world.

Content

• Adolescence, a difficult stage
• The adolescent's mind
  • 1. Idealism and Tendency to Criticism
  • 2. They are not afraid to argue with their parents
  • 3. They have trouble making decisions
  • 4. They think they have an 'imaginary audience'
  • 5. They have a personal fable of singularity
• How to help my teenage son?
  • References

Adolescence, a difficult stage

From 11 years, children experience changes in their bodies. On the one hand, girls notice the development of breasts and hips, as well as the arrival of menstruation. On the other hand, the voice of the men becomes deeper and begins the growth of the facial hair. These physical changes indicate the arrival of puberty, which corresponds to the transition from childhood to adolescence.

However, not only physical changes are produced during adolescence; We can see young to change their attitudes, behaviors and way of thinking. All this happens because The teenager is in search of his identity, which can lead to difficulties in the link with his parents. In this way, it is usual to see teenagers fighting constantly with adults and feeling that nobody understands them. Even so, making an effort to understand the cognitive changes of adolescence and being empathic can help the coexistence between parents and children much less chaotic.

The adolescent's mind

According to psychologist David Elkind, at the cognitive level, the adolescent is in the formal operations stage. Such statement means that The young man is able to solve complex problems and formulate hypotheses, that is, imagine a world beyond what is established. However, they are barely learning to use their new cognitive skills, so we can see in them difficult behaviors to handle. Next, we will describe some particular characteristics of the minds of adolescents that make them feel as if nobody understood them.

1. Idealism and Tendency to Criticism

Thanks to the ability to formulate hypothesis, teenagers begin to imagine an ideal world in which they would like to live, which is completely aligned with their values. But, as they grow, they realize how far that idealized image of reality is. Therefore, They become hypercritical and begin to see failures and defects in adults and in society, even leading to the attack on any error.

2. They are not afraid to argue with their parents

During childhood, your child probably used to comply. In general, the little ones do not have the necessary skills to argue, even if they do not agree with their parents. On the contrary, Teenagers have developed their ability to order the facts logically and create arguments. Thus, you are not surprised if a young man shows a tendency to discuss, it is not always rebellion, because most adolescents will not hesitate to show their point of view.

3. They have trouble making decisions

Although teenagers have the ability to generate many alternative responses, they find it hard to choose between them. In this way, they have not learned to effectively assess the advantages and disadvantages of each.

4. They think they have an 'imaginary audience'

The physical change experienced by young people can generate strong repercussions on their self -esteem. For this reason, many of them become extremely aware of their physical appearance, the quality of their decisions or their social development. Due, They can believe that there is an 'imaginary audience', which is hypervigilant to their actions. For example, a teenager who thinks he is using "incorrect clothes" may think that "everyone is watching her sideways".

5. They have a personal fable of singularity

Many teenagers can reach Believe that their experience is unique and that they are not subject to the rules that govern the rest. In this way, some young people will think that "other people fall into drug addiction, but I don't". Or, "I don't need to use contraceptives, because I will not have a teenage pregnancy, that happens to others, not me". This type of thoughts, in most cases, produce risky behaviors.

How to help my teenage son?

Taking into account the cognitive distortions that adolescents can experience, they may feel that no one understands them. However, it is possible to help them integrate their experiences so that they can learn to think with maturity and have a realistic vision about themselves and the world that surrounds them. As parents, It is important to listen, be observers, communicate openly, be empathic and avoid judging. As a general rule, it is important to show acceptance and understanding so that the young man knows that he can resort to his parents even if he has made mistakes. There is no manual to be a perfect father, however, it is possible to educate and learn strategies to regulate frustration and stress to be able to transmit them to the youngest.

Adolescence does not last forever

References

• Foelsch, p., Schlüter-Müller, s. Odom, a. (2015). Treatment for the identity of the adolescent (AIT). An integral personality approach. Modern Manual.
• Magaña, m. (2008). How to live with teenagers. A guide for parents and children to understand each day during adolescence. Madrid's community. Extracted from: http: // www.Madrid.org/bvirtual/bvcm007175.PDF
• Papalia, d. Wendkos, s., Duskin, r. (2009). Development Psychology. From childhood to adolescence. Eleventh edition. McGrawhill Editorial. https: // www.Mendoza.GOV.AR/WP-CONTENTENT/UPLOADS/SITES/16/2017/03/PSYCHOLOGY-DEL-DEVELLELO-PAPALIA-2009.PDF