Why do I feel anger towards my partner and what to do

We do not always understand the true nature of rabies, also known as anger. In fact, it is usually considered a negative emotion because it is experienced with high levels of discomfort, however, it makes sense and therefore prevails. From mild to explosive episodes, when we express anger, especially if it is unsequently, we are likely to harm both others and ourselves.

For these reasons, detecting and understanding how rabies manifests in relationships can help manage it more effectively. In this Psychology-online article we will respond to your question about Why do I feel anger towards my partner and what to do about.

1. How to detect if you feel anger for your partner
2. Why do I feel anger towards my partner
3. How to manage anger towards your partner

How to detect if you feel anger for your partner

Often anger manifests when we feel annoying and irritated, when we perceive that we lose control of what happens and we cannot "turn off" these sensations that produce high levels of discomfort and anguish. This emotion It usually comes from difficult feelings to express, as fear, anxiety, shame, perception of threats, hopelessness and impotence.

Because your partner cannot see the cause of your anger, you may react to the defensive. The result can lead to a spiral of misunderstandings and conflict. Next, we expose several Scenarios They can help you detect if you feel angry for your partner:

• You complain a lot about your partner: One of the first signs with which you can start raising this issue is when your partner lets you know, whether complaining about some attitude of yours, noticing distance, by some misunderstood word, because you have raised the tone of voice, etc. Given this situation, a frequent reaction is to feel guilty. It is important to consider if you have really acted in a way that has hurt your partner (and hold you responsible) or, if not the case, and your partner is upset by some other issue that would have to be elucidated.
• You have anger displays: Expressing rabies non -assertive in the form of wrath bursts is an unhealthy way to relieve stress. In addition, the way in which rage manifests will affect your partner and the relationship, depending on frequency and intensity. You should keep in mind that feeling anger or anger is normal, but there are certain limits that cannot be transferred as insulting, belittling, threatening, etc.
• You are upset with your partner: rage and resentment in love relationships are often attributions of guilt, assuming that your partner has behaved unfairly. If you feel "my partner gives me anger", you are alert, outraged or angry, it is very possible that your partner has done something that has bothered you. ¿There are habits or behaviors that are unpleasant? Ask yourself with honesty if there is something your partner has done that could irritate you.
• You feel that it does not understand you: When you perceive that you do not take into account or do not feel heard, you may bother your partner, especially if it does not support you in important aspects of your life. People usually begin love relationships with high levels of empathy and kindness, but when they decline, resentment and rage arise. In this article we give you the best tips to overcome resentment.
• It is a recurring pattern: rage may be due to certain relational patterns that have never been faced or resolved. It is useful to consider if this pattern has appeared in your relationships. When you start creating a deep bond, ¿Your first reaction is anger or anger? It could be that you project in your relationship wounds of the past without closing, in which you developed the belief that love is dangerous. To solve this dilemma, it is important that you differentiate your wounds from the past with your current relationship and your role in the current problem.

Why do I feel anger towards my partner

Understand why you feel anger towards your partner will depend on what is exactly, but, in general, resentment indicates that there is any unsolved problem. Next, we expose the most common causes of feeling anger.

Move concerns towards your partner

When in doubt why I feel so much anger towards my partner, you must make sure that the problem really has to do with your partner or is related to another person. Sometimes, you can simply be going through a difficult time with your family or feel stagnant at work.

Maybe you are in a bad mood and you are more irritable, because you have had a discussion with a friend or family that still worries you, and you be moving that unkly to your partner. Maybe, in reality, you don't want to be in a relationship, so you are looking for a discussion to leave you.

Specific circumstances that have triggered anger

¿Why am my boyfriend anger? A good way to draw conclusions about the anger you feel is to think For how long your partner's behavior affected you. For example, you may be angry if your partner is late, but you could take months to overcome an infidelity.

Another way to address the rage you feel is to imagine yourself/outside the situation and ask how you would react if someone would look for your impartial opinion.

Have low self -esteem

You may be living circumstances with which it is difficult to deal with. A low self -esteem You can undermine yourself in yourself and even cause outbursts of anger.

If this is your case, you must address the entire problem instead of just the trigger. Working in your self -esteem not only benefits you, but it helps your partner to see where you come from and make it less likely to ignore your anger as an exaggerated reaction. In this article you will find information on how to improve self -esteem.

Have anxiety and/or stress

You are more likely to feel anger towards your partner when you are going through a situation that produces anxiety and/or stress. ¿What to do when I am angry with my partner? Give yourself some time to feel and let these emotions pass When you are altered. Talk to your partner when the intensity decreases. In these situations you must remember why you appreciate your partner despite the emotionality of the moment.

There is a problem in the relationship

If trivial things bother you regularly, that you do not even consider important, that could point to a major problem in the relationship. For example, maybe you get angry because your partner always arrives late because you feel that deeply prioritizes the time together. In this situation, it is important Recognize and address the problem major.

How to manage anger towards your partner

So, ¿What to do when I am angry with my partner? If you want to know how to act in these situations, do not miss the following tips:

1. Learn to recognize anger

It is important to recognize the different forms of anger and the behaviors that normally accompany it. Look how anger affects you and your partner. Being able to identify your feelings will help you transmit them with empathy and in a friendlier tone to your partner.

Look for the reason for your anger, without judging, and with an open mind. It is not necessary that you find out at this moment, but at least spend time to reflect to get an idea. Be aware of why you are angry It is the first step to be able to address it constructively.

2. Do not ignore it

¿How to overcome the grudge towards the couple? Deleting emotions can cause the appearance of physical and emotional health problems. On the contrary, if you pay attention to your feelings and try to understand what is causing them, you can identify effective ways to manage them and promote your well -being.

Go rabies alone It will worsen things, since the problem will not be solved and, given any circumstance that bothers you, you will be prone to explode.

3. Be assertive

Assertive communication implies express feelings and thoughts firmly, both positive and negative, and be open to listen to your partner's position. If you are angry, this emotional state does not have to lead to an outburst of anger.

Expressing your anger through assertive communication is much more productive, since your partner can understand you better and you will not damage the relationship. In this article, we tell you how to resolve an assertive conflict.

4. Learn to discuss better

It's not about avoiding controversial or shutting up what bothers you. Although it is unpleasant to have a discussion with your partner, it is something natural and inevitable in all relationships. Resists the impulse to throw in the towel at the first discussion or "stay above". Instead, learn to discuss.

Going running or imposing your arguments will not help you have a healthy relationship. In the learning process to discuss, Keep in mind that each one has different needs. You may need to talk to your partner as soon as possible to calm your anguish, and instead, your partner needs a time to descale and connect with you.

To calm the rage towards your partner and that an effective reconciliation occurs, on the one hand, the person who has generated the damage must accept the time that the other person needs to manage their pain and carry out repair acts. On the other hand, the injured person has to be open to forgive.

5. Give yourself waiting or rest time

¿How to stop feeling anger for a person? When you are angry, you are more likely to act emotionally than rationally. A distorted vision of the situation can lead to misunderstandings, erroneous interpretations and hurried conclusions.

Do not look for the solution of a conflict when you are angry, stressed or irritable. When you can't have a productive conversation and listen to your partner actively, you better take a waiting or rest time. This period is vital to process the feelings of anger and resentment. You need time to heal the wound and take care of yourself to solve the conflict.

6. Show yourself when you are wrong

Raising your voice, shouting, belittling or insulting are dysfunctional forms of managing a problem. Although your emotions, including anger and anger, are valid, these behaviors are not and are not justified in any case.

If you are wrong and you have an outburst of anger, Assume the responsibility of your action, since you will have injured your partner. Offers a sincere apology And reflect on the best way to avoid repeating the same error in the future. Actively perform actions to repair the damage you have been able to cause in your partner. If it is something that happens to you regularly, seeks professional help. In this article you will find some tips on how to manage anger.

7. Resort to techniques to calm you down

It's not about never getting angry, but knowing how to deal with rage when it arises. Of course, there will be moments and situations that alter you. In these cases, make sure you have calmed enough to be able to keep control and not lose shapes.

To stop feeling anger towards your partner you can write a list of strategies to manage it how to exercise, take a relaxing bath, solve a puzzle, read some chapters of a book, write a couple of pages of a newspaper, breathing techniques, etc.

8. Promotes confidence in the relationship

It is normal to have disagreements with your partner, but they do not have to go from there, otherwise you will lose sight of the commitment in your relationship. The problems and Conflicts can be resolved When the two parties are willing to collaborate.

When there is something that bothers you, remember the commitment you have with your partner and why it is worth being with her, despite the disagreements. It may require effort, but being close and connected to it is a habit that must be taken care of.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Why do I feel anger towards my partner and what to do, We recommend that you enter our category of couple therapy.