Why do I always want to be alone

The human being lives in a constant balance of Solitude and Company Moments. Although the usual loneliness is observed with a negative connotation by many people, on the contrary, there are also many people who enjoy their lonely moments that prioritize these plans against the alternative of social skills. In the maturity process, the conquest of loneliness is the result of unconditional love towards oneself. But… "¿Why do I always want to be alone?". If you feel identified with this question, in psychology-online we help you find the answer.

Positive experience of loneliness

Those who avoid individual plans or believe that a film or theater experience is more pleasant, simply, for being accompanied, they usually live with discomfort the idea of ​​improvising an afternoon of leisure and free time without having previously stayed with a friend.

On the contrary, loneliness is an emotional treasure For those who do not live loneliness from the perspective of vacuum or absence but fullness. They are people who feel creativity, illusion, freedom and confidence of being themselves.

Those who live the Positive experience of loneliness They appreciate their time and ability to manage it autonomously without having to reach agreements with anyone else. It is the freedom to finalize the details of the agenda without having to reconcile that free time with that of another person.

People who enjoy their loneliness have a intense inner world. They are reflexive people who maintain a constant inner dialogue with themselves. The human being is immersed in constant dynamics of relationship with others to be in society. For example, relationship with co -workers, coexistence with the residents of the neighborhood and family.

Not all personal relationships are fully happy and satisfactory. Many of them are perceived as a social protocol rather than as an enjoyment. From this perspective, the moments of loneliness become a pleasant disconnection that fosters emotional rest.

People who reach the state of Enjoy periods of solitude They are those that have given themselves the opportunity to experience in practice experiences that break with those limiting beliefs that conclude that leisure plans lived in solitude are boring. For example, who after having made a trip in solitude, discovers that he has enjoyed that experience, is encouraged to set another similar objective. And, in this way, from the memory of this catalog of experiences, build a new map of the world.

In this other article we discover the positive points of loneliness.

5 causes you want to be alone

Each personal story is unique and unrepeatable, therefore, it has its own nuances. ¿What are the causes for which a person always wants to be alone?

1. Personal search moment. Who is in a moment of change regarding his usual lifestyle and wants. This situation is common in a moment of crisis when the protagonist wants to make important decisions.
2. Way to be. There are people who when they think of possible adjectives with which to define themselves to present themselves to others explain that they are lonely. ¿Means that personal relationships avoid at all times? Lonely people also enjoy quality ties. However, even when they are in a couple, they need a lot of space for themselves. They are creative people who do not get bored easily because they always have a project in mind to which they dedicate much of their free time.
3. Individualism. This is the case when a pragmatic vision of time management arises always focusing interest on oneself. In that case, the protagonist observes as an advantage to be able to define his schedules at all times without having to adjust to the availability of another person's agenda to specify a plan. Sometimes, the person experiences the rebound effect of falling into individualism as a defense mechanism before a previous stage in which they have not respected their own space and has frequently adapted to the expectations of others.
4. Deep sadness. The desire for loneliness is not always the manifestation that the protagonist feels happy. Who lives a period of sadness and apathy, can tend to isolation as a consequence of their own mood. In this case, the environment of friends and family of that person cares when they observe how the protagonist distances himself from others and encloses himself. It is natural to want to spend more time alone in a situation of sadness, however, it is not healthy emotionally to want to always be alone.
5. Previous disappointments. When a person accumulates a sum of negative personal experiences in the plane of love and friendship can reach the universal conclusion that loneliness is the best experience. Assuming a commitment to another person in relation to the care of that story requires reciprocity conditions. In your moments of loneliness, do not expose yourself to the pain that a friend is not up to your expectations, for example. Those who are at a time when they want to avoid this type of friendly disappointment, seek loneliness as a protection mechanism.

Without a doubt, loneliness is a necessary experience. But the moments of loneliness are completed with the spaces of social relationship.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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