Why do we feel shame of others?

If we look in scientific literature about what shame is, we will find numerous articles and books. However, we are looking for of others, The number of findings is significantly reduced. And it is still very clear why we are shame. Although some studies, little by little, begin to shed some light.

Who has not ever felt shame of others seeing another person with a piece of food in the teeth? Or doing any activity with a disastrous result? We put our hand to the head, we look down our eyes but still pay attention to the scene and begin to feel that strange feeling. But, What is it and why we feel shame of others?

Content

• What is the shame of others?
• Hab, empathy and compassion shame
• Subjective experience
  • Bibliography

What is the shame of others?

Describing this concept or this experience is not entirely easy. It is a mixture of shame, compassion and mockery. When we are in a relaxed atmosphere and a friend begins to sing and his voice is not precisely either melodic or harmonious, immediately the shame of others may arise. "Don't you realize that you don't know how to sing? How ridiculous is doing ", We think many times. However, It is curious that those who go shame are we, not him.

"In complete solitude, the most sensitive person would be completely indifferent to their own aspect". -Charles Darwin-

The doctor Frieder Michel Paulus, Professor of the German University of Marburg, says that the shame of others "It depends directly on the observer's perspective". In its 2013 article, "your defects are my pain: linking empathy with the shame of others," he tells us that shame is a "Transitory reaction to a violation of the social label that endangers the particular public image of oneself and can be evoked in different situations".

However, he also assures that Shame can be experienced indirectly, even, without any link between the observer and the protagonist of the action and Without any responsibility of the observer in the protagonist's situation. That is, it is not necessary to be a friend or acquaintance, we can feel alien shame of someone we do not know.

Many times we are at home watching TV and we observe a politic. In this case we do not even know the protagonist nor do we have any responsibility for the action. But still, being comfortably sitting on the couch, we can feel this type of indirect shame.

Hab, empathy and compassion shame

Dr. Paulus's research group carried out an experiment that involved 619 Germans in shameful situations. He even submitted 32 of them to functional magnetic resonance to observe which brain areas were activated when the subjects felt embarrassment of others.

The results showed that The brain starts the same regions involved in empathy: the Insular cortex and the Cortex of the previous cingulum. Dr. Paulus's team's conclusions seem to point out that "When we are ashamed of others, we feel empathy for someone who endangers their integrity in violating social norms,". It could be said that it is a empathic shame.

On the other hand, historian Tiffany Watt Smith, a researcher at the Center for the History of the Emotions of the Queen Mery of London also brings her grain of sand in the literature of the shame of others.

The author of the book "The Book of Human Emotions", says that feeling shame of others is a double torture. On the one hand, If another person makes a mistake We can feel it, and on the other, without the error, since just consider that the behavior of others is worth embarrassing To feel shame of others.

The historian ensures that the moments in which we feel more shame of others is when the protagonist of the action is important seems to import little what he does. In this case We stayed with the shame that should be happening. Like Paulus, he also states that it is a empathic emotion, since we put ourselves on the skin of the other person.

Subjective experience

Despite all the data provided by science about this emotion, we must not forget that It is a personal experience. Two people observing the same action can feel completely contrary emotions. While I can be feeling alien shame, another person could be serious or laughing at a clean laugh.

That we feel this emotion is not always synonymous for the other person being foolish. Sometimes we should ask ourselves what is our limit of the sense of ridicule if we are surprised feeling shame of others frequently. Making a mistake does not always mean making a fool of. While some are shame of others see learning. It all depends on how strict we are with ourselves and others.

Bibliography

Krach S, Cohrs JC, by Echevarría Loebell NC, Kircher T, Sommer J, Jansen A, et al. (2011). Your Flaws Are My Pain: Linking Empathy to Vicarious Engrassment. Plos One 6 (4).

Watt Smith, T. (2016). The Book of Humans Emots.