Why my partner wants to make me jealous

Romantic jealousy is a set of thoughts, feelings and actions that appear when the couple relationship is threatened by a possible rival. It is normal to feel jealous in a relationship when you care about your partner and you are afraid of losing it, however, it is very frequent that jealousy becomes a problem when they are deliberately caused and they are badly managed.

In this psychology-online article we focus on jealousy that are induced, that is, when it is one of the members of the couple who tries to generate them in the other. ¿Why my partner wants to make me jealous? ¿Why do you want me to get jealous, when you can harm our relationship? Next, we explain the reasons why this occurs.

1. Seeks to test the relationship
2. It has latent insecurities
3. Needs power and control
4. Look for attention or a reaction on your part
5. Is dissatisfied with the relationship
6. Wants revenge and/or punish
7. Wants to end the relationship
8. It has an adventure
9. You are afraid of abandonment

Seeks to test the relationship

Studies carried out by White^[1]and, later, by Fleischmann and his collaborators^[2], They showed that the most frequent motivation to cause jealousy is to test the relationship, in an attempt to Confirm the feelings and commitment of the couple.

In another study carried out at the University of California in Santa Cruz, Dainton and Gross^[3], They asked the participants how they tried to maintain their relationships and the evocation of jealousy with the aim of checking the state of the relationship. This was one of the most common methods referred to. In short, many people try to make their partners jealous to Measure your commitment in the relationship.

It has latent insecurities

When an adult boasts in front of his partner that other people are interested in him, it is important to ask what motivates this attitude. Frequently, behind the need to boast in an ostentatious way of its appeal and magnetism, there are latent insecurities that manifest in this absence.

¿Why a man wants to jealous a woman? If your partner is trying to generate jealousy in you, you may seek to make you see that it is "in demand", because other people are interested in it/she. However, although seductive people are usually considered by the rest as safe, it really does not have to be so.

Behind exaggerated attempts to show their appeal and how "requested" they are, there is usually a great ego, but at the same time is unstable and fragile. It does not support itself, since it is dependent on the opinion of others. This behavior can be associated with the dependent personality disorder that we explain in this article.

For this type of people it can be difficult to take responsibility for their feelings and ask for more attention and affection to their partner, so they resort to this "strategy". Due to your need for approval, they cause jealousy in your partner To reinforce your self -esteem and reaffirm its value.

Needs power and control

One of the signs that he wants to make you jealous is that he wants to have the power and control of the relationship. Induce jealousy in the couple intentionally can be a Tactics to handle the other person in order to get what he wants.

So, if your partner causes jealousy to get attention, I could want you to increase your efforts and attention towards him/she to maintain your interest. This strategy causes an imbalance in the relationship, since it is a highly harmful form of manipulation. In this article, we tell you what a manipulative person is like and how to unmask it.

Manipulation is never a good way to increase another person's attention because with it you never manage to close a real bond. That is only possible through honesty and vulnerability.

Look for attention or a reaction on your part

If you wonder why my partner wants to make me jealous, one of the most common reasons is that seek to get your attention and spend time. You may try to jealous for reactions. The aforementioned study, led by Fleischmann, says some people try to jealous their partners to participate in compensatory behavior.

¿Why a man wants to jealous a woman? Some of the objectives could be the following:

• Wants you to try more in the relationship.
• Seek to get more involved.
• You want you to dedicate more time and attention.
• You need to be more affectionate.

In this sense, the rewards that your partner could seek could be to relieve their anguish to fear that you are no longer interested, to confirm that you are still in love and committed in your relationship, that reactions to improve the quality of your relationship, etc.

Is dissatisfied with the relationship

¿Jealousy cause dissatisfaction in a relationship? ¿Being dissatisfied in your relationship causes jealousy? According to Ayala Malach Pines^[4], Both situations are possible. Israeli psychologist explains that jealousy brings dramatic and conflicting situations and cause dissatisfaction in the relationship.

In addition, he also argues that unsatisfactory relationships make people more likely to experience jealousy by the instability of the relationship itself. In this article we deepen the jealousy in the couple: why they occur and how to eliminate them.

Wants revenge and/or punish

¿Why does my girlfriend want to make me jealous? If he is upset with you for some behavior that has generated discomfort, or even herself is jealous because you have led her to feel jealous, you may want to correspond to that negativity. If that happens, you will want to punish you and jealous.

In this sense, your partner could jealous through revenge or through punishment, so will want to hurt you intentionally. This behavior is highly harmful, toxic and harmful to the two parties, so it should not be tolerated in any case. If you want to avoid this situation, we recommend you read this article on how to overcome retrospective jealousy.

Wants to end the relationship

Making the decision to finish a relationship is not easy, since it requires facing the situation, having a difficult conversation, and even seeing the person who has been your partner to suffer and tolerate their discomfort. It is possible that your partner has Difficulties to speak directly, Have doubts, do not have the tools to do it or simply do not dare.

Maybe he is avoiding breaking the relationship directly because he assumes that he will hurt you and feel guilty. Even so, causing jealousy intentionally to trigger the end of the relationship is much more harmful than communicating it clearly and honestly.

¿What hides behind jealousy? When jealousy is used to break a relationship The true reason for rupture is not understood, with which that makes the proper closure of the stage and the relationship difficult. Acting in this way is a lack of affective responsibility, in addition to an act of dishonesty and cowardice.

It has an adventure

¿What means that a man wants to make you jealous? A possible reason may be that your partner really Promote situations that involve third parties. ¿What is your role in the situation? ¿It has approaches to third parties that bother you? If so, your partner is likely to be involved with someone else who is not you and does not want the relationship with you because he simply likes the game of seduction and feeling desired.

Adventures can be almost irresistible for which it is immersed in them. There are people who turn to have encounters with a lover to escape the limitations of everyday life. They seek to feel young, attractive, desired, Free yourself from certain family or work "charges", explore and experience new roles and immerse yourself in hiding.

If your relationship has reached this point, an important element that you should keep in mind is that, however painful, maybe the other person does not care to suffer or know that he is with another.

You are afraid of abandonment

Mexican author Carlos Fuentes^[5], affirms the following: "Jealousy kill love but not desire. This is the true punishment of betrayed passion ". Although this way of acting is common, cause jealousy in the couple deliberately has consequences. Jealousy may turn on the connection for a moment, but it is the affectionate behaviors and empathy that create a real and lasting link over time.

¿What to do if your partner wants to make you jealous? If you intuy that you are causing jealousy in a deliberate way, Address the theme openly and honestly To understand what is happening to you and why you are acting like this. You may be afraid of abandonment and loss of the relationship, or you may need more attention and support on your part and do not know how to ask for it in a more functional way.

In any case, wanting your partner to experience jealousy is a highly dysfunctional behavior, both for the one who generates them, that he is not responsible for their emotions or knows how to manage them, and for the one who suffers it.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Why my partner wants to make me jealous, We recommend that you enter our category of feelings.

1. White, g. L. (1980). Inducing Jealousy: A Power Perspective. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 6(2), 222-227.
2. Fleischmann, a. TO., Spitzberg, b. H., Andersen, p. TO., & Roesch, S. C. (2005). Tickling The Monster: Jealousy Induction in Relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22(1), 49-73.
3. Dainton, m., & Gross, J. (2008). The Use of Negative Behaviors to Mainintin Relationships. Communication Research Reports, 25 (3), 179-191.
4. Pins, a. M. (2016). Romantic Jealousy: Causes, Symptoms, Cures. Routledge.
5. Fuentes, c. (2016). In this I believe. Alfaguara.