Why do I fall in love with who does not love me

Sometimes, heart issues become a riddle that produces pain to those people who do not understand why their sentimental history is marked by experiences that repeat a similar scheme of unrequited love and disappointment. It is in these cases, in which the affective involvement derives in the disappointment for having deposited expectations in someone who does not correspond in the same way, when the protagonist can reflect on whether this repeated circumstance is the result of chance, or to some extent , influences his attitude in his own situation. ¿Why do I fall in love with who does not love me? In psychology-online we tell you.

1. You protect yourself against the disappointment of a real love
2. You turn love into a constant challenge
3. Rationalizes love to avoid idealization

You protect yourself against the disappointment of a real love

When you fall in love with a person who does not correspond to you, This relationship is within the framework of ideality Of everything that you have imagined, dreamed and recreated in your mind around this possible relationship of the future. However, you have not experienced the obstacles that arise around a real courtship.

At the level of your mind, you feel safe because you control what happens, however, when you involve a real love with a person that corresponds to you in the same way, you assume the uncertainty of feeling vulnerable because there are aspects that transcend your own control.

Therefore, if you get excitedly with people who do not correspond to you, it is possible that for some reason, You are protecting yourself from fear of suffering in a relationship.

In this other article we help you to forget an unrequited love.

You turn love into a constant challenge

It may also happen that you look at people who do not correspond to you, depositing high expectations, because You position yourself to that reality as a personal challenge. That is, you turn this sentimental goal into a way of reaffirming your own value. Something that is associated with a low selfsteem or unstable that conditions you especially because it leads you to feel that you are more or less special depending on what that person feels for you.

You can feel this experience of challenge with people who, for some reason, are not emotionally available to get involved in a stable relationship. For example, someone who has a partner. There are also other types of obstacles, for example, involving you with someone who makes you know that in just a few weeks you move to live kilometers away.

When you experience repeated situations of this type, in a way, you behave as if real love was only possible in a context in which it is important save great obstacles from the beginning. And, from this perspective, when you know a person and history flows naturally, you lose interest in this absence of stimuli.

Maybe you want to fall in love with all your might, however, also You fear living this experience As soon as it means getting out of your comfort zone. And this emotional contradiction leads you to live at the crossroads of looking for stories that are sentenced to failure from the beginning.

Rationalizes love to avoid idealization

"¿Why do I fall in love with who does not love me?"If you ask yourself this question, it is very important that you assume your own ability to guide the feeling to avoid implying you more in a relationship in which the signals of indifference are clear.

That is, a person may have caught your attention at first and be interesting, however, if you observe any data or circumstance for which you know that you do not have to imply more in that relationship because you are about to live again something So you have already happened, It is recommended that you distance yourself and let it cool That initial emotion instead of feeding illusions with more romantic feelings.

Therefore, if you have gone through this situation on more than one occasion, learn to be practical and do not focus your energy in an impossible story.

In this other article we give you some indications to be able to forget someone you like a lot.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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