Why do narcissists hate themselves? 12 reasons
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- Ryan Bogisich
Narcissists hate themselves, unlike what many could imagine.
Many people who are irritating, flaunt. However, these characteristics are nothing more than indications that there is a narcissistic around. With all displays, someone might think that these people have a very high self -esteem, but nothing is further from reality.
Many specialists are considering the idea that, unlike Narciso, who falls in love seeing their own reflection, Narcissists hate themselves actually.
Narcissists hate themselves
It is common that many estimate that Narcissists have excessive vanity, But this is indicative that they require the validation of others, as well as the need to receive praises.
Therefore, today the idea that Narcissists take advantage of social networks spaces to find what they need, that is, the constant validation of others, since what prevails in this type of personality, apparently, is low self -esteem.
Most of the time the narcissists act not for self -love, but for hate towards themselves.
Although at the beginning the narcissists may seem lovely, social and generate good impressions, over time they end up being unpleasant for others, which is accentuated with His lack of empathy and his tendency to manipulation.
In the work environment it is very common to identify narcissists because They tend to blame other mistakes, They take advantage of their classmates or when they receive criticisms respond with hostility.
In social meetings, they also usually obtain attention, but to the detriment of others, which makes many people believe that all this behavior arises from deep self -love, but the truth could be the opposite.
Narcissists are individuals who are paralyzed by their insecurity and shame, Hence, they need all the time to control their image, so narcissism is not about self -love, but a contempt for themselves.
The classification of narcissists
Traditionally, it has been established that There are two types of narcissists: the "Vulnerable”, With low self -esteem and need to obtain positive statements from others, and“great”, Those who have an excessive ego.
But now It is believed that these "great" narcissists are not really narcissistic in themselves, since their behavior is closer to psychopathy, a disorder in which individuals act without empathy and to obtain their own benefits.
Instead, The "vulnerable" would be the true narcissists, since they do not seek domain, but the statements and attention to help them raise the image or status in the minds of others. However, the truth is that they do not feel good with themselves, or in the least. On the contrary, they demonstrate a lot.
Although it is normal for many people to seek positive reinforcements, narcissists reach the point of enlarging and this is what moves them through all the situations that live.
The narcissist, usually, fears that others do not perceive him in the way he expects, So, to minimize this fear, they resort to self -enhance. Paradoxically, their self -arrangement behaviors what awakens is the rejection by others.
The narcissist is missing something in his life, they feel that they will never be good enough.
According to the author Carlos Crisanto, in his article on severe narcissistic disorders, narcissists feel numb, anesthetized, with dreams dominated by terror, difficulty of concentration, disorientation to who they are, what they want or what their goals are.
In addition, the author Graciela Olmos Benatuil, in her study on narcissism and their discontent, emphasizes the following qualities of narcissists:
- Need to raise empathy, admiration and validation of another;
- Denial of the autonomy of the other;
- Feel shame and humiliation of mild desaits;
- Denial of pain, associated with a distance from reality;
- Comparison with others, fed by envy;
- Idealization of others;
- Difficulty worrying about the experiences of others;
- Intrusion, with a behavior that invades others;
- Retirement of social interactions to avoid being vulnerable to humiliations;
- Feeling of being a victim martyred by others;
- Initial charm followed by the loss of interest in the other;
- Deception and dishonesty, with the desire to seduce or deceive others, among others.
All these characteristics are reasons that make clear why narcissists hate themselves.
In addition to this, these people are usually resistant to changes, since they consider that the center of problems is in others and not in themselves.
Those who work with narcissists can feel frustration, because they are people impossible to persuade, make them change their minds or win a discussion. In this sense, it is important that people do not let themselves be dragged by the competition with them.
The important thing is to keep in mind that narcissists hate themselves and their actions come from a space of insecurity that they possess.
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Bibliography
- Benatuil, g. EITHER. (2019). Narcissism and its discontent. Diagnostic dilemmas and treatment strategies with narcissistic patients [Gabbard and Crisp-Han]. Psychoanalytic openings: Psychoanalysis Magazine, (60), 9.
- Crisanto, c. Severe narcissistic disorders. The anguish of being. The willingness to understand. Psychoanalysis magazine, 43.
- Grunberger, b. (1979). Narcissism. In Narcissism(pp. 283-283).
- Lowen, a. (2000). Narcissism. Barcelona: Paidos.