Can we fall in love with someone at first glance?

Personal beauty is a better recommendation than any presentation letter. Aristotle (-384 A C. A -322 A C.)

The eyes are the mirrors of the soul. Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519)

If we did not feel attraction for someone we would have been extinct from the planet for a long time. Loving and being loved is an experience that drives any human being. The same happens with the possibility that someone pleases us or we like.

However, we could say that Everything starts just with attraction. We unconsciously evaluate features that seem attractive to us with a potential couple. Even nature itself is a sign of this when the birds choose the best plumage partner.

In the case of the attraction of human beings, scientists call asymmetric fluctuations (ugliness indicators) to those traits that deviate from Cultural beauty standards, But we also unconsciously perform a Automatic evaluation of the possible state of the other person And this is reflected when we observe: the appearance of the skin, the way of walking, the teeth, the face, or a snapshot of the body.

And, all those perceived data that in the first instance give us an indication of who is in front of us. We hope that it does not present asymmetries and that is a first step, that make up the multifactorial complexity of love or attraction at first sight.

It is not exclusive to relationships, some researchers found that adults who perceive babies as beautiful or attractive described them as more pleasant, sociable, competent and easy to take care of compared to non -attractive babies (Casey and Ritter, cited In Franzoi, 2007). In general in schools beautiful children turn out to be more popular and are better evaluated by parents and teachers.

However, the reflection of this article revolves around love and attraction between adults.

Content

• What is love at first glance?
• A multifactorial vision
  • The psychosocial aspect
  • The neurological appearance
• It is not love, it is attraction that can become love
  • Bibliography

What is love at first glance?

Even today, there is no global consensus of what we understand as love at first sight, in its polysemic approach, (that is, it has several ways of interpreting) we see three different concepts:

• It may be the experience we have in a few seconds fractions. We only saw the person, without talking.
• An encounter of a few fractions of a second and we cross a look, a smile or greetings.
• Also a meeting of a few minutes as it happens in a quick appointment.

Each of these events is going to leave a sensory mark, which will also be compared to the imprint of love or attraction (the original idea that has been recorded in our brain of love or attraction), that each of us We carry inside.

For example, If we see that person, but we don't talk to him, he leaves us materially in a state of emotional shock, blaming us not spoken. And, we could blame ourselves not having had the courage to do it or cursed the circumstances that did not allow us that valuable encounter.

To express it in other words, we stay with the expectation of happiness and frustrated, as in many fashion songs or movies. However, this refers to the initial contact of the first sight, not necessarily love.

A multifactorial vision

The psychosocial aspect

If a person seems attractive we connect with the stereotype of beauty and We tend to think that physically attractive persons have socially desirable personality traits And they lead a happier life than less attractive people.

The first impression counts a lot (Primacy effect), not only allows us to make a quick evaluation: emotional, biological and hormonal of the person we also tend to idealize it and tend to attribute socially desirable features.

Love at first sight leaves a positive evaluation that will surely affect the subsequent encounters if any (halo effect).

As at that time we have no more information, our perception makes us complete the information through our needs (physiological, social, psychological and more), the speed with what happens all this is still unknown.

Generally We idealize that person and that clounts our rational vision In social interaction.

How to know if someone likes you?

The neurological appearance

The first impression not only activates the person's reward centers And a dopamine, adrenaline, cortisol and oxytocin is presented among other chemical messengers. Hormonal shot generates reactions: physical, physiological, emotional, behavioral and social:

• When we see a person for the first time and we like it, we have the feeling that the heart accelerates, we feel butterflies in the stomach and we could even feel clumsy in having a conversation. It can be a unique, indescribable sensation.
• Other physiological reactions are sweating, nervousness, you blush, blood pressure is triggered.
• Another aspect that highlights in these symptoms is constantly turning to see the other person.

It is not love, it is attraction that can become love

Clarifying things. If the first encounter was brief or a bit longer, it is not love, it is an initial attraction which can become one of the programs of love: lust, romantic love or an attachment relationship (Fisher, cited in Alemar 2013).

It may be that, this feeling only the experience one of those involved and for the other person we are nothing.

It is difficult for two people who have just known end up feeling that love or attraction at first sight reciprocally, but not impossible.

Really To create a love with someone, it is necessary to create coexistence and attachment to stabilize a relationship And for this time and moments of intimacy are needed.

A face may also seem more attractive when we maintain visual contact with the other person.

Experiments with people who do not know can have a feeling of knowing each other by the fact of seeing themselves in the eyes.

The risk of Knowing someone first sight and starting a relationship will not be enough to produce a durable love, It is only a starting point to start a relationship (Lieb, 2018).

A physical attraction is also required. However, if the couple's choice were based only on facts it would be very complicated. The good news is that The predisposition increases to initiate a relationship.

To give a lasting effect, mutual knowledge is necessary. If the feelings last and the first impression leaves to give space to a realistic knowledge of the other person, then if we can talk about true love.

Bibliography

• Alemar (2013) The chemistry of love, interview with Helen Fisher in networks for science, consulted on February 22, 2019, in Red: https: // www.Youtube.com/watch?V = 6JN47ZTGBCC
• Franzoi s. (2007) Social Psychology, McGraw Hill Editorial, Mexico.
• Lieb k. (2018) Resilience, Mind and Brain, Journal of Psychology and Neurosciences Julio-Agosto, No. 91, Spain.