I'm not happy with my partner, but I can't leave her, what do I do?

Happiness. We fill our mouths talking about her in recent times, but, ¿What happens when we are not happy? ¿What do we do to remedy it? Let's start at the beginning. Some say that happiness is in small things, while others defend that happiness is a global state in which you are and where you can be happy, but have moments of sadness or downturn.

In couple relationships some believe that happiness and suffering go hand in hand, since many times we fail to achieve the goal of being happy. In this psychology-online article we will analyze the following situation: I'm not happy with my partner, but I can't leave her, ¿what I do? We will help you identify if you are no longer happy with your partner, why and we will give you some tips to face this situation.

1. How to know if I'm happy with my partner or not
2. Why can't I leave my partner if I'm not happy
3. What to do if I'm not happy with my partner but I can't leave her

How to know if I'm happy with my partner or not

The reason why you no longer feel like happy with your partner can be a very concrete one or perhaps a cluster of several factors that have taken you to that. Next, we offer you some tips to know if you are happy with your partner or not:

• Look at the physical and emotional connection between you: The connection in a couple, both physical and emotional, is very important to feel united to that person and be able to create a link. If you feel that it is disappearing, or you are no longer comfortable with what is that link you created at the time, it is likely to make you less happy.
• You have poor communication: The lack of communication generates misunderstandings and can make us feel less understood by our partner, who does not understand us, that is not offering us what we want or even has changed for no reason. All this could make you feel less happy since you are not satisfying your needs. Given this situation, we recommend you read this article on how to improve communication in the couple.
• Compare the current situation with the past constantly: people are constantly changing, in fact, as Heraclitus said, "the only constant is change". This affects us on the personal and individual level of each one and how we interact with the people we have around. You may not agree or feel that you no longer fit your partner's life because she has changed, or that she/he no longer fits your life with your changes.
• Everything that says and does bothers you: Anything irritates you and that makes you not feel comfortable. If you identify the reason is something you can try to solve, but otherwise you must consider some points in the relationship.
• Do not put interest in the relationship: You do not make plans or you want to make plans. This is an important turning point and in which you must inspect in depth to know if you want to fight to continue with that person, or simply the time has come to turn.
• You feel sad and off when you are together: If something that before filing you with energy and vitality now does not do so, it is likely because it does not make you feel happy and happy.
• You feel that love or respect ended: There are times when we can notice that lack of feelings towards our partner or even lack of respect, as it could no longer warn you when you will not eat home or tell you for anything. It may also be that this sense of friendship appears over the love of a couple and makes you feel more unhappy.
• You feel that it has betrayed you or disappointed: When this feeling appears it is difficult to let it go and, above all, it is likely to be around the head constantly causing you not to be calm, which can generate unhappiness in the relationship. In this article, we show you how to overcome a betrayal.

Why can't I leave my partner if I'm not happy

Love relationships and those that generate well -being have a basic biological mechanism in which dopamine is involved. In addition, learning processes such as habituation, both biological and behavioral. It works in the following way:

1. Emotional instability: When something new appears to our life, such as a couple, it generates emotional instability that produces an increase of some of the neurotransmitters and substances also involved in the processes of dependence on a drug.
2. Stabilization: The repeated presence of a stimulus, such as the couple, produces changes in the transmission of the nerve impulses of the neurons involved, so that initial emotional instability is stabilized.
3. Abstinence: When we cut a relationship, that level that has stabilized the rise in the presence of the couple, decreases by not being this suddenly presents. Thus, those neurons that had become accustomed to receiving high levels of dopamine, among others, notice that it is missing and this causes something similar to withdrawal syndrome.

In this way, the answer to the question of why I cannot leave my partner if I am not happy is similar to the answer to the question why I cannot stop consuming a toxic substance when it is harming me.

What to do if I'm not happy with my partner but I can't leave her

If you ask what to do if you are no longer comfortable with your partner and you do not know how to face the situation, these tips can come well for you:

• I seriously consider the reasons you want to leave it and if you want: If yes.
• Work to improve your self -esteem and safety: Sometimes, it may be that "you cannot" leave your partner for fears, such as I will not find anyone who loves me the same, that others will think, what am I going to do now, etc. In this article, we show you how to improve self -esteem.
• Reflect and communicate: Think what is essential for you in a couple and if it complies or not. If you are not happy but you do not want to leave it, you can try to solve those aspects that make you unhappy with your partner and see how everything evolves. You can also comment with him/her and see if, between the two, you can find a solution.
• Activate your closest social network: Feeling accompanied in these situations is very important for you and will help you see things from another perspective. Sometimes, your loved ones can offer you the push you need to do it and you won't feel alone in this.

Keep in mind the following phrase of Anaís Nin, coined in the book Flexible Happiness of Jenny Moix (2015): "And the day came that the risk that ran to remain inside the cocoon was more painful than the one that ran for flourishing".

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to I'm not happy with my partner, but I can't leave her, what do I do?, We recommend that you enter our category of feelings.