My son wants to know who his father is, what do I do?

Today, social relations and, specifically, those of couple have changed a lot, being currently very different from those of a few years ago. This implies that family members are no longer the same as the father and mother, but that they can be couples of the same gender, families formed by a parent alone, by the new partner of the father or the Mother, etc.

In any case, we also find situations in which, within the family, there is some absent parent or that does not take care of the sons or daughters. If this situation occurs, for children it can be difficult to process and manage, however, for the mother, if it is the case that it is the father who was absent and did not want to take over, it can also result very complex this fact. In this Psychology-online article, we propose What to do if your child wants to know who his father is. We will inform you about how to communicate to your child who is his true father, what to do if he does not want to act as a father and why he abandoned you.

1. Should I tell my son who his father is if he doesn't want to take care?
2. What to do if my son's father does not want to take responsibility?
3. How to tell my son that his father abandoned us?
4. How to tell a child who is his true father?

Should I tell my son who his father is if he doesn't want to take care?

It is very important that the child know who his biological father is, even if he does not want to exercise the functions of father. The child has the right to know this information To avoid confusion, insecurities and to get to know its roots and history.

However, the amount of information and details could vary depending on the child's age since, the more age the more capacity to understand the situation and why. It is even more important to explain who his true father is, if there is a person who exercises as such, like the mother's couple since, in this way, we would avoid questions and grow with an idea of ​​his wrong past. But, ¿How to explain to your child that you are a single mother? ¿How to tell a child that his father is not his father? Later we will see how to communicate it.

What to do if my son's father does not want to take responsibility?

First of all, you have to keep calm, Today, there are many women who go up to their children alone and do it very well, but this is probably a more difficult task to manage individually, than collectively. Remember that there are many types of family and all are equally normal and valid.

• If in some moments you feel exhausted both physically and mentally, if you feel alone or you feel pain for this situation, identify what you feel and where these feelings come from.
• Let yourself feel but, above all, let these thoughts and this pain pass, work with the guilty thoughts that may appear since, they will not only give you even more damage and pain.
• To make a recovery process you must also focus on your self -esteem, love you, value and give you time for you, to heal and to improve is very important and necessary to overcome and face this situation in the best possible way.

How to tell my son that his father abandoned us?

Here are some guidelines to speak to your absent father's son:

• As we are talking to children, our language has to be adapted to yours, therefore, we must communicate with them with a lot of sensitivity And choosing the best words so that they can understand it and do not feel bad or guilty about it.
• We have to Avoid lying On this subject since, it can cause them much insecurity and uncertainty in them, and, a lot of emphasis should be placed on the fact that their father is not and has left them has nothing to do with them, for thus prevent them from feeling the main reason for abandonment.
• You have to communicate that your father, for certain reasons, could not take care of him/she And for this reason it is not.
• We must always tell him the truth, but we can Do not explain in detail the real reasons From abandonment according to his age since, they could not understand them and we will avoid building a bad image of him, therefore, we could explain that his father left because he was wrong, because he was not well with himself or because he was not prepared, For example.
• Later, When the child grows And you can understand the real motives of abandonment, the explanations would have to be more elaborate and detailed.
• It should also communicate that, fortunately, the boy or girl He has people around him who love him and that they want the best for him/she and that they will be accompanying him and supporting him during his life.

How to tell a child who is his true father?

As we have mentioned above, this information has to be communicated with a lot of sensitivity and taking into account the child's age, If we are talking with young children, the information will have to be transmitted as clearly as possible, but leaving aside some details that are not prepared to understand or assimilate.

¿How to tell a child that his father is not his father? Little by little, more information about the previous life of their father has to be progressively added so that they can get a general idea of ​​what happened and of Who is your biological father.

We have to Avoid talking with derogatory connotations of his father since he will only lead to the child forms a bad image of him. We have to leave behind our opinions and thoughts regarding him so as not to harm or influence those of our children.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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