The benefits of emotional detachment

When we talk about Emotional detachment We do not refer to be distant or retire from the world that surrounds us as if we were hermits. We can be passionate, enthusiastic and committed to life and at the same time keep the emotional distance enough to preserve our individuality.

Excess attachment and its consequences

An excess of attachment to other people (the couple, parents or children), objects, as well as exaggerated emotions create drama and inner confusion. Especially in cases of overdentification where happiness and meaning of life are based on success, achievements and possessions.

Compulsion, obsession, the need for excessive validation and clinging too much to something or someone, can literally destroy us when the results are disappointing or things do not work as we thought, generating chronic stress, fatigue, conflict and exhaustion. Anxieties, concern for unfavorable results in our future perspectives, potential hazards and change also contribute greatly to physical and mental stress.

What gives us detachment

For some people, detachment can help them deepen their own self, for others this type of separation seems almost impossible. Detachment is an internal process that must be undertaken while it remains immersed and active in the rest of vital events.

Even so, detachment helps us to realize in a more serene way than what is happening around us, without involving to the point of reaching emotional suffering. It's like witnessing events without affecting us directly, We move away from immediate confusion and reflect on the true meaning of people's events or behavior.

In many cases, if we stop to think, we will see that more than an exaggerated reaction is the result of making a mountain a grain of sand. This does not mean that we should deny existence serious problems that can unbalance us. However, most of the time, events are less catastrophic than we initially believe. In any case, only when we let the storm decrease we can think and evaluate the situation clearly.

Detachment allows us to live an intentional life based on our values, goals and aspirations. It gives us the mental freedom to make decisions about how to be, instead of absorbed by events. Evaluating less emotionally what is under our control and what not, we can act accordingly. If our limits are exceeded, we can stand firm. Adversity will not break us in the same way, or at least, we will reach a clearer vision to find better ways to get out of it.

Our central self must be independent of external factors. With a healthy detachment, we will obtain a much greater sense of integrity and inner peace. We can be alone with ourselves, feeling firm and trusting that we can face the currents and obstacles of life.

How to practice detachment

• Accept reality. Let us evaluate from the heart what can we change or what we need to let go, what is our current problem or problems, if there are, and observe what we are doing with it. Not everything must take it from a personal point of view, let's put some distance in our vision of things.
• Focus on solutions instead of problems. Ruminate about what is wrong or could go wrong only contributes to stagnation and defeat. How do we deal with this? It is a good question that we should ask ourselves instead of thinking that everything is lost.
• Accept oneself. Do not punish yourself for your mistakes. We must make peace with ourselves to be at peace and accept our imperfections like any other human being. In most cases, neither our mistakes nor those of others are calamities so large that there is no turning back.
• Seek emotional stability. Emotions often seem to go on their own, going and coming, going up and down, apparently by their own will. It is as if we could not fight them directly. But they don't have to control us. But what we can work with our thoughts and our self -conferment. While many events may seem terrible, they are nothing more than facts that we have prosecuted under the influence of our beliefs and experiences. We must challenge them to make sure these Thoughts are actually realistic and constructive.
• Assume responsibility for our actions, emotions and thoughts. No one can force us to do or feel something. How we respond to the challenges of life is something that is completely under our choice.
• Impulse containment. If we do not have something clear, let's stop to think, do not give an immediate response carried by the nerves or with precipitation.
• Let's recognize our emotional luggage: This includes guilt, bitterness, hatred, regrets or self -pity. Cling to the wounds of the past will keep us stuck. To process and overcome negative emotions we must observe the past event with a certain degree of detachment, trying to understand what went wrong, who did what, when and why.
• Take distance from the opinions and actions of other people, Even when we are in a close relationship with someone. We can be solidarity with others, but your life is yours to live it as you want. Everyone has their own way to walk.
• Embrace uncertainty. If we can do something to create clarity, go ahead. If not, let's go with the current and adopt the attitude that we have what we need to face what the future gives us.
• Be present in the here and now. This is the basic rule not to fall from depression and anxiety, only then we can take control.

"You always have the option to take all things in a balanced way, not hold on to anything, receive every anger as if you only had fifteen minutes of life". Tolbert McCarroll

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