The benefits of non -violent communication

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Lorenzo West I

Surely you have had a discussion or negotiation that has gone from being calm and cordial or friendly to being rather violent and tense. Today we tell you What are the benefits of non -violent communication and Why you should avoid that other type of more violent communication.

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What is non -violent communication?
What is non -violent or CNV communication?
- Observe without judging
- Identify and express feelings and emotions
- Recognize and understand what are the unsatisfied needs behind the feelings
- Use positive language
Jackals and giraffes
The benefits of non -violent communication

What is non -violent communication?

The best way to understand what is non -violent communication is .. Explaining what violent communication is. So let's start there and then we will talk about what is non -violent communication (that is, the alternative).

Violent communication is a type of conversation we are looking for, essentially, Take the reason. We rarely listen and, if we do, It is to refute or criticize the other point of view.

It is, in short, an aggressive communication. And, as you can suppose, this type of communication hinders relationships and, not a few occasions, arrives To generate suffering.

Non violent communication appears by opposition to this type of aggressive communication. It was the psychologist Marshall Rosenberg who raised this new communication system that tries to be more assertive and consistent with personal values.

Thus, non -violent communication arises as the opportunity to reinvent the way we have to communicate in our conversations. As you can assume, It is all the opposite of what we have mentioned earlier.

What is non -violent or CNV communication?

Non -violent communication consists in speaking and listening from the heart, with the aim of connecting with ourselves, but also with others. Thus, compassion is arising, so the aggressiveness of conversations disappears.

In order to carry out non -violent communication, these four components must be taken into account:

Observe without judging

First, it is important to forget about value judgments and put labels. The basic idea is that our words are windows instead of closed doors that block conversations. Eye! This does not mean that judgments cannot be issued. Simply, you have to be able to separate what is something objective of what a subjective trial is.

Identify and express feelings and emotions

Express our feelings from responsibility, improve communication and relationships with others, because we allow them to know each other. Many people are afraid to do so, because it implies uncovering vulnerabilities, but it is something essential in this type of communication.

Recognize and understand what are the unsatisfied needs behind the feelings

This point is important to free others and take care of ourselves. Taking into account that we are the ones who generate our emotions, to be aware of their origin and work on it is the best way of not loading our frustrations (which would generate friction).

Use positive language

To avoid misunderstandings, it is best to use a positive language that facilitates conversations and avoids generating unnecessary tensions.

What are social skills and assertiveness

Jackals and giraffes

Rosenberg used the metaphor of two animals to properly explain its CNV. According to the psychologist, we can adopt an attitude or another in the relationships we maintain with other people.

Jackals are the most predominant people in society, And they are characterized by trying to dominate others, be demanding and competitive and work based on punishments and rewards. In their conversations, They use critics, sarcasm and accusation.

Instead, giraffes try to be objective and have feelings in mind and needs of other people (in addition to their own). Of course, They are those who practice compassionate communication.