Rational and irrational beliefs, according to Albert Ellis

A belief is a idea or thought that is assumed as true, It's like we evaluate things, situations or people.

Content

• Origin of beliefs
• Types of beliefs
  • Rational beliefs
    • Most common rational beliefs
  • Irrational beliefs
    • Most common irrational beliefs
  • How to change irrational beliefs
• Examples of rational and irrational beliefs according to emotional rational therapy and how to change them
  • 1. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • 2. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • 3. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • 4. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • 5. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • 6. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • 7. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • 8. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • 9. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
    • Rational thought
  • 10. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • eleven. Irrational belief
    • Why is it irrational
  • Rational thought
  • Bibliographic source

Origin of beliefs

From childhood we learn through words, phrases, images, beliefs are formed through what we see, we hear, for what they tell us, We are acquiring beliefs for what people say, That is, society, family, authority figures, regardless of such beliefs are true or not, becomes a belief that we take for granted, this or not proven. For example, when they told us, the earth is round!

Types of beliefs

Rational beliefs

They are realistic thoughts, which we They cause balanced emotions, adapted and productive behavior.

Most common rational beliefs

• I do not necessarily have to be with someone to be happy, I can start enjoying my company and if someone wants to be with me it is already a plus and I will enjoy too.
• There will be people who will be good with me, however, I will also meet people who are not always good, because all humans can be wrong at some point and that does not mean that they are bad.
• I can accept the fact that the past is important, it has come to influence my life, however, I can strive to transform my present to improve.

Irrational beliefs

Are distorted, exaggerated, catastrophic thoughts, are without foundation, assumptions. That type of beliefs/thoughts disturb us, causing very uncomfortable, intense emotions, depression, anxiety, physical discomfort, therefore, maladaptive behavior. They produce emotional discomfort.

Most common irrational beliefs

• I need to have someone to love me and accept to be able to live happy.
• All people must be good with me.
• My past will affect me negatively my whole life.

How to change irrational beliefs

1. Identify your irrational beliefs.
2. Put on your target role, discussing your beliefs to reach a rational conclusion.

Make a debate what you think, In order to put arguments, bases, real evidence, this to form rational beliefs, because when thinking rationally about some situation, it will perhaps make us feel worried, but not anxious, perhaps something sad but not depressed, angry more unreasonable, with fear To something more non -paralyzed, therefore our thoughts, emotions and behaviors will be healthy, favorable, functional, it will be easier to restructure the beliefs that are limiting us.

Examples of rational and irrational beliefs according to emotional rational therapy and how to change them

Emotional rational therapy (RET) It is a form of therapy that is framed within cognitive-behavioral therapies and has Albert Ellis, who proposed the model during the second half of the 20th century.

Here are some examples of irrational beliefs according to Ellis, the reasoning that accompanies it and the rational belief that could be carried out.

1. Irrational belief

"It is an extreme need for adult human being to be loved and approved by practically each significant person of society".

Why is it irrational

Demanding being approved by all is an unattainable goal. If the approval is needed extremely, a concern for how much they will accept one will always be generated. It is impossible for one to always be nice or pleasant to the others.

Although one could reach the approval of others, that will require a huge amount of effort and energy. Trying to be approved by others would generate a servility where they would have to abandon their own needs.

The uncertainty of not achieving the approval of others would generate an insecure and annoying behavior, thus the interest of others.

Rational thought

It is adequate that you look for more approval for your facts, activities and behaviors that for yourself.

Not being considered by others is something frustrating but not horrible or catastrophic. It is good that you ask yourself: what do I want to do in the course of my relatively short life?, more than what do I think they would like others to do?

To get the love of others, one of the best ways is to give it.

2. Irrational belief

"To consider yourself valuable, you must be very competent, sufficient and capable of achieving anything in all possible aspects".

Why is it irrational

No human being can be totally competent in all aspects or in most of them.

Trying to be successful is fine, but it is demanded that it should be successful is the best way to make themselves incompetent and incapable. Forcing more of the account brings stress and psychosomatic diseases.

The individual who fights for total success is in continuous comparison with others before which he feels invariably inferior. Ambition success entails wanting to be superior to others, which invariably conflicts with others.

Finding success distracts the individual from his authentic objective of being happier in life.

Concern for success entails fear of failure and making mistakes, which is easy to generate a disgust for work and a tendency to real failure in it.

Rational thought

Focus on enjoying the process of acting more than the result.

When you try to act well for your own satisfaction, than to please or be better than others.

You must question you frequently if you are fighting to achieve your own goal, or to please others.

In the fight to achieve your goals you must accept your own mistakes and confusion instead of horrifying them.

You must accept the need to practice and practice things before achieving success.

You must force yourself to do from time to time.

3. Irrational belief

"A certain kind of people is vile, evil and infamous and that must be seriously blamed and punished for their evil.".

Why is it irrational

People are limited beings that most of the time we act automatically and unconsciously without a "conscious evil".

The individual who acts badly in most cases, is an ignorant or disturbed person who is not aware of the consequences of his behaviors for others and for himself.

The punish or guilty severely to the one who makes mistakes normally leads him to continue committing them, on the contrary a more tolerant and rational attitude when considering his mistakes, he favors the positive change more.

Cultipabilizing one generates depression, anguish or anxiety, and blaming other rage and hostility, all this does not lead to anything other than personal or social conflict.

Rational thought

You should not criticize or blame others for their failures, but to understand that they are committed by simplicity, ignorance or emotional disturbance.

When someone blamed you for something, you should ask yourself if you really did it wrong, and if so, try to improve your behavior, but if you have not done so, understand that the criticism of others is a problem of them, because of some kind of defense or disturbance.

It is positive to understand why people act as they do from their point of view, and if there is a calm way to make them understand their mistakes, practice it. If it is not possible you will have to tell you "this is bad, but not necessarily catastrophic".

You can try to understand that your own mistakes like those of others are the result of ignorance or emotional disturbance.

4. Irrational belief

"It is tremendous and catastrophic the fact that things are not going on the path that they would like to be.".

Why is it irrational

There is no reason to think that things should be different from what they really are, another thing is that we like or not.

Being dejected by circumstances will not help us improve them, and it is possible that we will get worse.

When things do not come out, it is good to fight to change them, but when this is impossible, the healthiest is to accept things as they are.

Although we are frustrated or deprived of something we want, feeling very unfortunate is only a consequence of erroneously considering our desire as a fundamental need.

Rational thought

You must discern whether the circumstances are really negative, or if you are exaggerating its frustrating characteristics.

The catastrophic sense sometimes gives it to these expressions: 'It is terrible', 'My God', 'cannot support it'. Make learning to change these expressions for more rational and realistic ones: 'They are negative but not catastrophic', 'I am convinced that I can endure it'.

Try to take difficult situations as a challenge you have to learn from.

5. Irrational belief

"Human misfortune originates from external causes and people have little capacity or none to control their penalties and disturbances."

Why is it irrational

The verbal attacks of others will affect us only to the extent that with our valuations and interpretations we will pay attention.

The expression "hurts that my friends ignore me" is wrong, since what hurts me is that I tell me giving it a terrible or unbearable value.

Although most people can believe that negative emotions cannot be changed and you simply have to suffer, experience shows that it is feasible to change them.

Rational thought

When you experience a painful emotion, you must recognize that you are the creator of that emotion, and that as you originate, you can also eradicate it.

When you observe objectively your painful emotions discover the illogical thoughts and phrases that are associated with that emotion.

And when you are able to change your own verbalizations radically, you can transform self -destructive emotions.

6. Irrational belief

"If something is or can be dangerous or fearsome, you should feel terribly restless about it and you must constantly think about the possibility of this happening.

Why is it irrational

If you are very concerned about a risk issue, nervousness really prevents seeing the seriousness of the matter.

Intense anxiety about the possibility of dangerous.

To worry a lot that something happens not only does not prevent it from happening, but often contributing to its appearance. The restlessness of a dangerous situation implies exaggerating the possibilities that occurs, even if this is very unlikely.

When inevitable events are to come such as the disease or death of nothing, worrying in advance for them.

Most of the aforementioned and dangerous facts (such as diseases) are much less catastrophic when they really occur, but the anxiety or the fear that they occur if it constitutes something even more painful than the feared situation itself.

Rational thought

You must understand that most concerns are not caused by external dangers, but the way you have to talk to yourself.

You have to realize that fears do not help us avoid hazards, rather the opposite.

You must understand that most fears originally have the fear of what others think of me. Therefore realize the irrational of this argument.

You must, from time to time, do the things that give you the most (such as speaking in public, defending your rights or showing your views with superiors) to show you that those fears are not so terrible.

You should not affect what fears they seemed over to appear again, you must work to eradicate them by facing them until they no longer affect you.

7. Irrational belief

"It is easier to avoid dealing with certain responsibilities and difficulties in life".

Why is it irrational

Although it is sometimes comfortable.

The process of making the decision not to do something that is considered difficult but beneficial, is usually long and tortuous and usually leads to more suffering than doing the unpleasant activity.

Confidence in oneself only comes from doing activities and not avoiding them. If they are avoided, existence will become easier but at the same time increase the degree of insecurity and personal distrust.

Although many people assume that an easy, evasive and without responsibilities is something appealing, experience shows that the happiness of the human being is greater when it is committed to a difficult and long -term objective.

Rational thought

You must strive to do the unpleasant things that are necessary to do and finish them as soon as possible.

You should not assume that behind each evasion of our problems there is a indolent 'by nature', but assume that this is the result of irrational beliefs that you must discover and change.

You should not impose a rigid or exaggerated self -discipline but to plan the activities and objectives in a reasonable way, establishing short, medium and long term goals.

A rational individual accepts life with what it leads to difficulties, resting or avoiding problems only serves to please them.

8. Irrational belief

"It must depend on others and someone stronger is needed to trust".

Why is it irrational

Although in normal having a certain degree of dependence on others, we must not reach the point that others choose or think for us. The more it depends on others, the less it is chosen by oneself and the more it acts by others with what the possibility of being oneself is lost. The more the decisions are left in others, the less the opportunity one has to learn. So acting thus more dependence, insecurity and loss of self -esteem are generated. When it depends on others, one stays at the mercy of them, and this implies that life takes an uncontrollable channel since others may disappear or die.

Rational thought

You must accept the fact that you are alone in the world, and that it is not so terrible to support yourself and make decisions. Understand that failure is not terrible in achieving objectives, and that failures have nothing to do with the value as a human being. It is preferable. You should not, rebellious or defensively, reject any help from others, to prove how 'strong' you are. It is positive that you accept the help of others when necessary.

9. Irrational belief

"The past story of one is a decisive determinant of current behavior, and that something that ever happened to him and shocked him must continue to affect him indefinitely".

Why is it irrational

Although a person has had to suffer the excesses and conditioning of others, for example to be excessively complacent with the parents, that does not mean that for example 20 years later we have to continue being.

The more influenced it is in the past, the more solutions are used to the problems that were then used but that today can be ineffective and therefore the opportunity to find other current and most useful is lost.

The past can be used as an excuse to avoid facing changes in the present and thus not making the required personal effort.

The importance of the past is exaggerated when instead of saying "for my past it is difficult for me to change", it is said "for my past it is impossible for me to change".

Rational thought

A rational individual accepts the fact that the past is important and knows about its influence on the present, but knows at the same time that its present is the past of tomorrow and that striving to transform it, you can get your morning different, And presumably more satisfactory.

Instead of performing the same behaviors of the past automatically, you must stop and challenge those behaviors both verbally and actively.

Instead of rebeling with grudge against all and most of the past influences, you must value, question, challenge and rebel only with those acquired ideas that are clearly harmful.

10. Irrational belief

"One must feel very worried about the problems and disturbances of others"

Why is it irrational

The problems of others often have nothing to do with us and there is no reason why we should be concerned about them.

Although others make behaviors that disturb us, our anger does not come from their behavior but from what we tell ourselves.

As much as we dislike for the behavior of others, this will probably not change it, we must accept that we do not have the power to change others. And if we get it, we have paid a high price with our disturbance, and we have to look for other less destructive ways to try, without altering, that others correct their mistakes.

The involvement in the problems of others is often used as a subtle excuse not to face our own problems.

Rational thought

You should ask yourself if it is really worth worrying about the behaviors of others, and you should be interested only when you worry enough, when you think you can help change or that your help can really be useful.

When those who worry you are acting erroneously, you should not worry about their behaviors and make them see their mistakes in a calm and objective way.

If you cannot eliminate the self -destructive behavior of others, you must at least not be angry with yourself for not getting it and renouncing the ideas of improving that situation.

eleven. Irrational belief

"Invariably there is a precise, correct and perfect solution for human problems, and that if this perfect solution is not found the catastrophe".

Why is it irrational

There is neither security nor perfection nor absolute truth in the world. Security search only generates fake anxiety and expectations.

The disasters that people imagine that they will overturn if they do not get a correct solution to their problems, they do not have an objective existence but are disasters created in their mind, which to the extent that they create them will happen to him something catastrophic (such as an intense state of panic or hopelessness).

Perfectionism induces to solve problems much less "perfect" than if you weren't a perfectionist.

Rational thought

A rational individual does not commit the stupidity of saying that reality should be known totally, or has to control it, or there must be perfect solutions to all problems.

When facing a problem, a rational individual will think of several possible solutions to choose, and will choose the most feasible and not the 'perfect', knowing that everything has its advantages and inconveniences.

You must search among the extreme options (black or white) the intermediate and moderate points (gray).

You should know that erring is humans and that your actions have nothing to do with your value as a human being.

Knowing that we only learn from making attempts and mistakes, you must experience again and again until we solve your problems.

Bibliographic source

Albert Ellis, emotional behavioral therapy