The self -revealing what are they and what they are for?

Content

• What are self -revelations
• The 4 levels of depth of communication
• How much to reveal?
• Common problems in self -revelation
  • Project a false image
  • That they do not believe us

What are self -revelations

The Self -reverse They are personal information that we offer to one or more people when we want to establish an emotional - emotional bond. In a way it means Express feelings, desires, tastes, fantasies, long -term goals, postponements, etc. Correctly and without excesses.

Here are a series of tips to enhance your social skills and you know.

To carry out self-reveals there are many issues, such as: family, city of origin, way of life and future plans, views in relation to marriage and children, reactions and discomforts, personal fears, thoughts about old belief in God, life or death, drugs, triumphs and failures, ancient love relationships, moments of anguish, etc.

If we want to communicate with someone we must take into account not to rush in relation to intimacies. People can feel uncomfortable if they are besieged in a short space with very intimate questions or self -revelations. Wait for the right time for it.

The 4 levels of depth of communication

1. Phrases made: They are rituals to initiate the conversation in which the presence of the other is recognized and the desire to communicate.
2. Facts: In new relationships, the most important facts in the life of each one are generally explained; In the most consolidated, the most recent. Each person tries to discover if the interests that are shared are as many that the relationship is worth it.
3. Opinions: give a more personal vision than the facts or phrases made. To express opinions it is better to be direct and frank than to use general phrases such as "I have been told that", "there are those who say ...", "I don't know but I think ...". I try to start your statements with: "I think that ..."; "I personally believe that ..." "I don't know what you will think but it seems to me that ...".

1. Feelings: They transmit an emotional reaction to an event, better describing what the person is like.

Other ways to have themes to speak are:

• Have prepared themes regarding something that has been read, or movies, etc., Story of a funny experience that occurred during the week or a long time ago, etc.
• Mix opinion and information statements. Ask a question at the end is a good strategy to keep a conversation, as well as to make it comprehensive and interesting for both you and the other person.
• Try not to interrupt while the other is talking.
• Although there are nonverbal ways to communicate something about itself, which helps maintain a conversation is what communicates about itself verbally. People want to know where you work, where they live and where are you heading.

• In general, it goes much more on account communicate honestly who is one, to try to give an image too favor. The fact of creating a false public image is something that must be corrected later, especially if subsequent relationships are foreseen. If you do not like some things of yourself, it is preferable to change them than to give a false image. It is easier and will feel more comfortable if you don't have to give another appearance than you really have.

How much to reveal?

As relationships become more frequent and lasting, you must reveal a different type of information about yourself in order to maintain friendship conventions. It is one thing to reveal what you think-intentions and antipathies-, and another thing is to reveal what you feel.

When the facts allow the exchange of feelings between people, affection is always the same: to reaffirm friendship and get closer to the two people in question.

The expression of feelings has to always be proposed to the degree of esteem and intimacy that exists between the two people. The more there are, more satisfactory and intimate feelings are prolonged relationships.

The person who reveals everything about herself, of their abilities, weaknesses, problems, conflicts or feelings It establishes with the other unfeasible and negative relationships as well as the person who reveals too little about himself and who strives to give a false image.

After assessing the character of a relationship you must decide to what extent you can reveal your secrets and feelings. The fact also to be too concrete, detailed and precise in the expression of feelings, is not only especially inappropriate in an informal friendship, but also causes some discomfort and confusion in which he listens, if he does not usually reveal feelings, this prevents this that the relationship develops and can become friendship. Also, not expressing feelings, equivocal situations occur, which can be the cause of irritability, frustration and conflicts that derive from it. One also creates an image that things do not affect him, and then he has to make an enormous effort to continue being up to the image he has offered.

The total reserve is not healthy and excessive frankness is inadequate.

If people depart from you, it is surely because they do not allow you to know you, or because you expose your emotions too intentionally and overwhelm them asking for support, sympathy, total understanding.

Good conversations develop with auto revelations of each of the parties. You win in camaraderie and approach when expressing feelings, tastes, fantasies, wishes, long -term goals.

Discovering before the other person promotes in it the feeling that their own feelings and intimacy are shared.

A possible list of themes could include the following: parents, brothers and sisters; city ​​of origin and growth; their way of life and future plans; his views in relation to the marriage and possession of children; their reactions and discomforts; your personal fears; his thoughts about old age; His beliefs in God, life and death; its handling with drugs; His triumphs; its ancient love relationships; His moments of anguish.

Common problems in self -revelation

Project a false image

• It can be rejected because the other person does not like this "perfect being" that one presents.
• You can be attracted to the positive image but you know that this is not him.
• Sooner or later you can discover the lie.

That they do not believe us

To increase the chances of being created we must:

• Be specific describing sensations.
• Reveal some negative aspect of oneself.
• Let yourself be convinced: instead of immediately stating an opinion, discussing the pros and cons of the problem with the interlocutor, to finally draw a conclusion.
• That there is no ambiguity when expressing one's opinion: not to do so in the third person and with questions, but in the first person and with affirmative phrases.
• Do not speak little for fear of boring the other person.

Revealing private information about ourselves to another person is a very effective assertive technique, not only in social conversation plan but also when a conflict between us and another person arises.

Volun-Secretary Self-Revelation should not be confused with the act of vomiting self-prosecuting confessions of an involuntary type, automatic and almost conditioned.

Our voluntary revelation of negative factors about ourselves and our own acceptance is probably The most powerful and effective assertive technique to avoid manipulat and achieve the peace of our spirit. If the other reacted before our assertive revelation of our inner self and our concerns trying to convince us that we should not "or not" have the right to think or feel like that ", our response will be simple and direct: "It's possible, but this is what Sien-to". In the face of a sincere and honest response like this is impo-sable to use manipulation. When we formulate a revelation car of this class, the person we are interacting must respond in the same plane of honest personal desires or not to treat us at all with us. As we will see in many of the dialogues, the proper use of the voluntary auto revelation is effective in dealing with manipulative people, be sellers of used cars, dependent, home runners, businessmen, mechanics, workmates, colleagues , bosses, friends, neighbors, relatives, parents or children, as well as as a means to improve our Converting techniques and social communication.