The social mirror theory we see what we reflect

The so -called social mirror theory establishes that It is the unconsciousness, through psychological projection, which suggests that the defects that are perceived in other people only exist in them, But not in us and we. But in reality, this theory implies much more.

In order to understand this process, it is necessary to go back to the so -called mirror theory attributable to the psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan.

Content

• The mirror theory
• The mirror theory applied to social relations
  • You see what you reflect
  • The four laws of social mirror theory
  • The story of the Bedouin
  • Resources

The mirror theory

Jacques Lacan analyzed the formation of the self during the psychological development phase of boys and girls between 6 and 18 months. During that period, he specified that They are able to clearly identify their own image in the mirror and also show great joy by recognizing themselves.

In short, girls and girls like the image that the mirror projects.

This type of learning, also called Identification of the self, It can be extrapolated to the social and interpersonal relations that people acquire throughout our lives.

“Often people say that they have not yet found themselves. But the self is not something that one finds, but something that one creates ". Thomas Szasz

The mirror theory applied to social relations

You see what you reflect

Personal psychology states that The exterior acts as a mirror for our own mind, Well, we see our personal characteristics reflected in the same. In addition, social mirror theory is also reflected when people claim to know other people very well, but in reality what they do is project their own reality over them.

When people are aware that what they project in other people allows you to discover how they really are, This allows them to recover control over what is happening in their own interior, and so in this way to be able to take over and work those aspects that are not desired to be maintained or wants to transform into positive.

The four laws of social mirror theory

Social mirror theory can be divided mainly into four laws:

1. Everything that bothers me or I want to change the other person, is in me: Refers to what bothers us from others, is, in some way, present inside us, and therefore, we must be we and who change.
2. Everything that the other person criticizes me, or judges, if it bothers me or hurts me, is repressed in me and I need to work it: refers to criticism, which although they bother us is because, in some way, it is inside and before this, the solution is to try to improve.
3. Everything I like about the other person is also within me: It refers largely to envy. What you have, but what you like but you don't have. It is important to remember that when we like the qualities of other people, It is surely because we also have them inside And maybe they have not been developed or could not be demonstrated yet.
4. Everything that the other person criticizes me, judges or wants to change in me without affecting me, belongs to him: This law is just the contrary to the second. Refers to the fact that if they criticize you something and does not affect you, in the end, the problem is the other person. In this case, the social mirror theory is against these people, so that, unless they change more and more frustration.

The second law and the fourth once united provide a Interesting conclusion against criticism: When we offend ourselves, we should probably change; But if criticism does not offend us, it is most likely that it is the other person who should change.

The story of the Bedouin

Finally, this story, entitled "The story of the Bedouin," reflects very well the social mirror theory, And how can help us avoid problems as we progress as people:

There was a Bedouin sitting at a crossroads at the entrance of a town, when an stranger approaches him, and says: "Hey, in this town, how is people like?"

The Bedouin answers with another question: "Where do you come from, how was the people?"

The stranger tells him: "Very bad people".

So the Bedouin finally tells him: "Well, here are the same, better pass and do not bother to enter the town".

After a while another stranger arrives, this in a camel, and asks the same: "Hey, in this town, how is people?".

The Bedouin answers again with a question: "Where do you come from, how was the people?"

This time the stranger replies: "Very good people. They have treated me very well, very friendly and friendly ".

Bedouin's response was: "Well, here they will try to him just as good. Between the people and enjoying their hospitality ".

Finally, we can extract from everything seen about the theory of the social mirror that The key is not in what happens to us, but in how we react to it. When people are able to observe the reactions they have, abstract and see themselves from a different perspective to their own, This can help and much to correct the imbalances that you can have inside your own. 

It is essential that people know themselves to achieve adequate personal development.

Resources

• 101 Personal development phrases, essential
• Rosenberg self -concept test
• Jacques Lacan: reinvent psychoanalysis
• What is psychoanalysis? THE PSYCHANALYTIC APPROACH OF PSYCHOLOGY