The couple is in crisis the coexistence?

"The more space allows and anime within a relationship, the more that relationship will prosper". Wayne Dyer

Traditional norms imposed that couples incompatible with each other continued together for the good of their children, at least until they were adults. Education was the first function of the family and had to be fulfilled in the shelter of the parents' coexistence. Let us remember what Catholicism traditionally imposes on marriage, "until death separates us". This has caused many of our ancestors to continue together since It was impossible to consider a marriage break since this was frowned upon. Many people reading this paragraph will nod who have lost their lives next to someone who had already stopped wanting simply because the rules imposed it. I had to endure misunderstandings on the part of my parents and grandparents by explaining my decision to break with the marriage commitment that I had simply acquired for not finding meaning to my own personal growth next to that person who had filled me with happiness years before. Today, that individuals put their own realization to the paternal mission, many think that incompatible couples deserve the opportunity to free themselves to find a more appropriate person and greater emotional satisfaction. To this it is added that, divorcing and exercising paternity separately, the growth and self -realization of all, adults and children is favored.

The decision to undo the couple constitutes a crucial moment in marriage life and familiar. The end of a marriage, or of a coexistence, requires both partners the immediate rethinking of a shared life project until that day, and can exert some effect, negative or positive, on parents and children. Many people will believe that having children must continue together for their good and that is not entirely true. For a child it is much better that their parents are separated if this gives them personal well -being with what will improve relationships with the child attending their emotional maturity. Parents will continue to play their role with a higher quality than if they were together, just because they have a child because their own dissatisfactions would emerge in their children's education.

Today, it tends to privilege personal happiness regarding the family, With which, if a marriage is not satisfactory, it is not considered obliged to remain linked for the good of the children.

The change of male and female roles in the last decades causes the increase in marriage instability in our time.

The more the woman works out of home, the less children she has, she has received the greater education, her self -esteem has increased, her ideas about the distribution of family roles is less traditional and it is easier for a separation to occur. In families in which the husband has lost his job, sexual problems are exacerbated, of self-esteem, alcohol or of Drugs And the cases of violence They multiply. In violent behavior it is possible that man finds a substitute for lost virility (in his eyes) and for the decrease of his labor perspectives. Masculinity, in addition, is associated with control over others and on himself: man is intended for action, he cannot afford to be weak, show himself and feel vulnerable as a woman.

Modern couples can be particularly rich, stimulating and happy when their members share a common life project, but have a high risk of failure if they limit the personal development of each. Personal development is today an important objective that is still pursued at the expense of ruptures, transfers, work changes, acquisition of new skills and analysis of oneself. In this process, Loss and duel accompany the growth and affirmation of individuality.

It is considered that the love bond is the appropriate path to achieve the personal life project, which constitutes the fundamental objective of individuals in our society. When an affective bond is interrupted, it is normal for you to not suffer anymore, freeing of the unsatisfactory relationship, and finding a more pleasant way of living, alone or with another couple.

The Emotional separation may appear long before physical separation. Start when one of the couple's members observes the deterioration of the relationship and tries to remedy, but does not get it. Little by little, the spouse in crisis loses the hope that things will improve and begins to imagine that it is not worth maintaining the link. Hate, jealousy, outrage And other negative feelings are defense reactions to the pain and anguish that the classmates who are left by the other feel, but still united in the emotional aspect. As they refuse to accept the end, many of them try to exorcise pain and accuse the former partner or the world; feed desires for revenge and accumulate anger and resentment. Falling in love is one of the most desired and feared experiences at the same time; because, being extraordinarily enriching for personal growth, If love dies, it can cause serious damage to our psyche and block our development.

For some the end of a relationship is an intolerable and inadmissible episode; A failure that generates serious feelings of guilt. This phenomenon appears in particular when only one of the spouses wants to break the union, and the other, which has not perceived the process of deterioration of the relationship, is surprised by this decision. But time and analysis of oneself make the separation finally live as a Need to improve our personal growth.