Emotional intelligence in childhood education, family and school

Great philosophers, including Plato, already talked about education as a medium whose purpose was to provide the body and soul all the perfection and beauty that one and the other are susceptible. Thus, from this point of view, we could define education as the total sum of processes through which a social group transmits its abilities and powers reorganizing and reconstructing emotions to adapt the individual to the tasks they will perform in the psychological process to throughout his life (from childhood to senectity).

In this Psychology Line article, we talk about Emotional intelligence in children: education, family and school.

1. How emotions in childhood develop
2. Emotional intelligence in the family context
3. Emotional intelligence at school (tips)

How emotions in childhood develop

The Emotional Intelligence, Like all behavior, it is Transmitted from parents to children, especially from the models that the child is created. After various studies it has been proven that children are able to capture the moods of adults (in one of these it was discovered that babies are able to experience an empathic kind of anguish, even before being totally aware of their existence. Goleman, 1996).

Affective knowledge is closely related to general maturity, autonomy and the child's social competence.

Emotional intelligence in the family context

Personality develops as a result of Socialization process, in which the child assimilates the attitudes, values ​​and customs of society. And the parents will be the mainly in charge of contributing to this work, through their love and care, of the identification figure that are for children (they are active socialization agents). That is, family life will be the first emotional learning school.

On the other hand, they will also influence the largest number of experiences of the child, affecting these on the Development of your personality. In this way, by controlling most of the children's experiences, parents contribute to the development of social cognition.

Starting from the fact that you, the parents, are the main model of imitation of your children, the ideal would be that you, as parents, begin to train and exercise your emotional intelligence so that your children can acquire those habits.

The prevailing rule in this regard, as they would say. J. Elijah, s. B. Tobias and b. S. Friedlander (2000) is as follows: "Try your children as you would like others to be treated". If we analyze this rule we can obtain 5 principles:

1. Be aware of their own feelings and those of others.
2. Show empathy and understand the views of others.
3. Positively face emotional and behavioral impulses and regulate them.
4. Plant positive objectives and draw plans to achieve them.
5. Use positive social skills when handling your relationships

Observing these principles, we realize that we are in front of what are the Five basic components of emotional intelligence:

1. Emotional self -knowledge.
2. Recognition of emotions of others
3. Emotional self -control.
4. Self motivation.
5. Relationships.

To solve any problematic situation of family field, It would be advisable to answer a series of questions before acting:

• ¿What do you feel in that certain situation? ¿What their children feel?
• ¿How do you interpret what is happening? ¿How do you think your children interpret it? ¿How would you feel if you were in your place?
• ¿What is the best way to deal with this? ¿How has it done on other occasions? ¿It has really worked?
• ¿How are we going to carry out? ¿What do we need to do? ¿How should we address others? ¿We are prepared to do this?
• ¿We have the necessary skills? ¿What other forms may exist to solve the problem?
• If our plan runs with unforeseen, ¿What will we do? ¿What obstacles can we anticipate?
• ¿When we can gather to talk about the matter, share ideas and feelings and start to obtain success as a family?

On the other hand, a study demonstrated the three more inappropriate behavior styles by their parents are:

• Completely ignore your child's feelings, thinking that your children's problems are trivial and absurd.
• The Laissez-Faire style. In this case, the parents do realize the feelings of their children, but they do not give it alternative emotional solutions, and they think that any way of handling those “inappropriate” emotions, is correct (for example, sticking them).
• Despise or not respect the child's feelings (for example, prohibiting the child who gets angry, be severe if they get irritated ...)

Emotional intelligence at school (tips)

If we stop at the type of education implemented a few years ago, we can observe how teachers preferred conformist children, who achieved good grades and demanded little (in this way the receptive apprentices and disciples were being valued more than the active apprentices).

In this way, it was not uncommon to meet the self -fulfilling prophecy in cases where the teacher expects the student gives.

There were also cases of despair learned, produced by the way in which teachers responded to the failures of their students.

But we have evolved, and to continue doing so we will have to assume that school is one of the most important means through which The child "will learn" and be influenced (influencing all factors that make up their personality).

Therefore, at school you must consider teach students to be emotionally smarter, providing them with basic emotional strategies and skills that protect them from risk factors or, at least, to pat their negative effects.

Goleman, 1995, has called this education of emotions Emotional literacy (Also, emotional schooling), and according to him, what is intended with it is to teach students to modulate their emotionality developing their emotional intelligence.

The goals that are pursued with the Implementation of emotional intelligence at school, would be the following:

1. Detect cases of poor performance in the emotional area.
2. Know what emotions are and recognize them in others.
3. Classify them: feelings, moods ..
4. Modular and manage emotionality.
5. Develop tolerance to daily frustrations.
6. Prevent drug use and other risk behaviors.
7. Develop resilience.
8. Adopt a positive attitude towards life.
9. Prevent interpersonal conflicts improve the quality of school life.

To achieve this, the Figure of a new tutor (With a different profile than we are used to seeing normally) that addresses the process effectively for itself and for your students. For this it is necessary for him to become an emotional coping model, empathic and serene, reflective and fair resolution of interpersonal conflicts, as a source of vicarious learning for his students.

This new tutor should know. Therefore, we do not only seek a teacher who has optimal knowledge of the subject to be taught, but also capable of transmitting a series of values ​​to his students, developing a new professional competence. These are some of the functions that the new tutor will have to develop:

• Perception of needs, motivations, interests and objectives of students.
• Help to students to establish personal goals.
• The facilitation of decision -making and personal responsibility processes.
• Personal guidance to student.
• The establishment of a positive emotional climate, offering personal and social support to increase students' self -confidence.

The schooling of emotions will be carried out by analyzing the conflicting situations and everyday problems that occur in the school context that generate tension (as a frame of reference for the teacher, and based on which to work the different competences of emotional intelligence.

Finally, we will point out that for high school performance to occur, The child must have 7 important factors:

1. Self -confidence and abilities
2. Curiosity to discover intentionality, linked to the feeling of feeling capable and effective.
3. Self -control
4. Relationship with the peer group
5. Ability to communicate
6. Cooperate

And for the child to use these capabilities once he is school, we must not doubt that he will depend a lot on the care he has received for his parents.

In this way, we must highlight that for an emotionally intelligent education, the first thing will be that the parents of future students provide that example of emotional intelligence to their children, so that once they begin their regulated education, they are already provided with a broad repertoire of these emotionally intelligent abilities.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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