Virtual infidelity what is, types and how to face it

More and more technological means are through which we can communicate and this is a fertile land for infidelities. One of the big problems that have arisen with the boom of technology are virtual infidelities and the worst thing is that they constitute a very difficult terrain to define. The distance generated by the screen is very ambiguous and then we are complicated to determine whether it is just a game or something beyond an act of infidelity.

They are difficult and confusing issues, so it is normal to ask yourself: ¿What is virtual infidelity? ¿What defines it? ¿Why is so dangerous? ¿What types of virtual infidelities exist? ¿How can we face virtual infidelity? In Psychology-online we will dedicate this article to explain What is the virtual infidelity, its types and how to face it.

1. What is virtual infidelity
2. Virtual infidelity, a serious problem
3. Characteristics of virtual infidelity
4. Consequences of virtual infidelity
5. Types of virtual infidelity
6. How to face virtual infidelity

What is virtual infidelity

We talk about cyber or virtual infidelity when a person outside the relationship, hidden and without the consent of the other member, becomes an object of the sexual or loving desire of one of the couple's members and sE maintains with this new person a relationship or different meetings through the cybernetic world. On many occasions, they start as a harmless game and end up being much more than that. It is important to emphasize that these types of meetings are not necessarily submitted to the physical plane and often only remain in the field of virtual, but that does not make the connection less powerful. Moreover, it could even give a relationship between two people who never get to know each other or have a sexual encounter.

Virtual infidelity, a serious problem

The truth is that technology is updated to every second and now it is possible to disappear messages, audios, videos and photographs sent without leaving traces. Applications are updated faster and then it is also possible New possibilities for secret.

¿Because we talk about infidelity if lovers, sometimes, never know each other and all their romance stays on the virtual plane? First it is important to put the theme of Virtual infidelities in context. We talk about this type of infidelities because they are an increasingly common problem, which is also found in a hybrid terrain that fills us with ambiguities and it is difficult for us to define clearly.

Infidelity is in the fact that The implicitly or explicitly established fidelity agreement is broken by the couple, There is dishonesty by one of the members and also typical behaviors of the unfaithful act are presented; How to start hiding and hiding these types of events that are known that they are not incorrect because they are out of what was agreed and there.

Characteristics of virtual infidelity

Let's look at the characteristics and consequences of virtual infidelity:

• Ambiguity. It has been quite complex to determine that we talk about infidelity when romance or affair is generated in virtual terrain, which leaves ambiguous and unclear if it is constituted as a reality or not.
• It may seem "not real". In fact, in this type of adventure, when justification is discovered, it is precisely.
• More important than it seems. But it is true that the screen is increasing A person to feel a special connection with another or to live different experiences in the sexual field.
• The feelings are the same as in physical infidelity. There are also studies that corroborate that virtual romances can generate the same type of thoughts and emotions that are generated in any relationship that is established and this occurs because virtual relationships also include the establishment of secret and fantasy, they are experienced Different emotions such as joy, anger, anger and sadness, you can experience enthusiasm, experience frustrations, you can more easily idealize the other and feel love to him. This shows us that the connections with others go beyond the physical, although that with all the pandemic and confinement we have all experienced and confirmed.

Consequences of virtual infidelity

¿What damage can be generated from this type of infidelities? Let's look at the consequences of virtual infidelity for the person who, how and for the couple:

• Treason: The one who is deceived and discovers this type of infidelities, either with a loving or sexual infidelity through the cybernetic world, feels strongly betrayed and damaged by his partner.
• Trust rupture: trust is broken and a fracture is generated in the relationship that often ends in separations.
• Idealization: The person who is unfaithful through the networks can idealize the person with whom he has a new connection, may experience that his reality is more monotonous and boring than his new virtual connection and, sometimes, what begins as a game apparently harmless ends up breaking the relationship by both parties.

Types of virtual infidelity

Virtual infidelities can occur of different types, depending on the dynamics established between the person and what each one looks for, but they can always end in different ways. Here we show you some types of dynamics that could be generated:

1. Virtual sexual connection with an unknown person

There are connections that occur between strangers that are only generated by an excitation search and an exchange of photographs, videos or different material is generated. Many times, this type of contact is established through search platforms in which both people look for the same. It is presented as a kind of pornography specifically dedicated to someone in particular and where the link established with the other is only physical and Just seek excitement.

Generalment, and this type of meeting only remains in the cybernetic plane and if a physical encounter is presented, they maintain the same tonic of being something purely physical.

2. Virtual sexual connection with a known person

There are also connections that occur between acquaintances, where there is a sexual infidelity. In this type of cybernetic sexual encounters many possibilities are opened in the sexual field, depending on where the imagination and the game between virtual lovers arrive, they can be given, from photographs, videos, sexting, playing role, exchange of fantasies , etc.

It could involve something emotional in the short or long term, depending on the dynamics that are generated after the sexual encounter.

3. Romantic infidelities

They have more to do with A special link that occurs with another, which can leave as something friendly sharing their secrets, telling him his things, dreams, projects, desires, etc., but that at some point it turns to the loving and they begin to be loosenstingly having dreams, plans and fantasies together. You can even feel emotions for the other. It can be linked to the sexual or not and there may be real meetings or not.

In the following article, you can see more information about the types of infidelity.

How to face virtual infidelity

Virtual infidelity, such as all infidelity, could generate important damage to both the couple and the person who has been deceived and also generate enough sequels in the relationship. This will always depend on what happened, how things happened, the context in which they occurred, the level at which they gave themselves and, above all, what this means for the couple. What constitutes a deception is defined by each person in particular according to their beliefs, values ​​and the way in which you see a relationship: what expects it and what each of the couple's members should do or how they should be. This is something that we are rarely talking about or we are aware. For this reason, these types of situations can serve us to re-evaluate what we want and what not and show it by establishing clear limits, either in this relationship or in the following. ¿What to do if my partner has a virtual relationship?

1. Identify if there is an infidelity

It is important to be clear if the other person is really being unfaithful. The features that can give indications of a possible infidelity are: if the other person has distanced himself, if he is a long time on the phone or computer and looks for discreet places to review it, if he puts the cell phone in silence or plane mode when it is in our presence, If you get nervous when you receive calls or messages, if you are enclosed in the bathroom or leave every time you want to speak or write, if there are notable changes in your behavior, way of dressing, etc ... in this article we explain how to discover an infidelity.

2. Evaluate the type of infidelity

The second step to face virtual infidelity is to evaluate the type of infidelity and level of involvement:

• ¿What happened?
• ¿How did it happen?
• ¿At what level?
• ¿What kind of virtual infidelity had?
• ¿Who is the other person?: an acquaintance, an stranger ..

3. Evaluate how I feel

Evaluate how the particular situation affects me:

• ¿Why I think it happened?
• ¿How to personally affect this situation?
• ¿How I mean?
• ¿What bothers me the most?
• ¿What does not bother me?
• ¿What hurts me?
• ¿What makes the situation seem an infidelity?
• ¿What is an infidelity for me?

4. Communicate

If you are sure of what happened, what you feel, confront the situation and observe what answer you get. Show what the situation generates, what do you feel, how it affects you and how you interpret the situation. Do a damage assessment together or together. Evaluate which limits were transferred, communicate with honesty what each one feels, without invalidating the other. Evaluate the couple codes that have been broken, what really happened and what is the damage generated by this situation. Analyze the severity of the matter and decide what they want to do after what happened.

5. Evaluate what to do

Evaluate whether or not for you constitutes or not a hoax and what they want to do with that. Without a doubt, any kind of infidelity is painful and is difficult to cope with, but, although we cannot see it so clearly at the time, it is an important opportunity to rethink some things ..

If the couple wants to move forward in the relationship, it is very important to be honest and clear to expose that there is after what happened: talk about the reasons why this type of encounter was given and the reasons why it was sustained, can give lights of the latent needs behind the couple. Of the things not said and it would be necessary to do to occupy this event as a fertilizer that makes the relationship become stronger than before.

6. Be honest

Try to be honest with each other and talk about those things that have been silenced so far. Things that find it difficult to speak and that is why they have been silent, but that they have in the long run realized that they have distanced them as a couple. Something very important if you want to face and overcome virtual infidelity.

7. Expose the needs

Expose emotional and sexual needs clearly, honestly and concretely. Talking clearly about what I want, I need, I like and I need the relationship is key to not feeling dissatisfied within my relationship and thus not have the need to look for what I lack in the relationship.

In addition, the feeling of being able to communicate everything as a couple makes the couple more solid, because they feel an invincible team. In this article we talk about how to improve communication in the couple.

8. Work in

It is necessary to reactivate the relationship constantly and revive the feeling of being good friends and lovers. Increase intimacy, games, coquetry, seduction, start having new activities together and plans or projects in common, can help the relationship grow again and become.

9. Positive inputs

Communicate to the other what I feel and show him what I like about him or her. Sometimes, in the relationships that have long been, the members of the couple stop saying what you feel and stop expressing what they like of the other and that sometimes makes the other feel little seen or little valued in the relationship. Return to communicate the good of the other, strengthen what I like about him or her, what we fall in love and continue to fall in love and what we feel for the other, is fundamental.

In this article, you will find more information about how to act in infidelity.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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