Children who cut relationships with their parents

Every day there are more children who cut relationships with their parents. Although the family is made up of members who create an affective link of learning and love, some distancing can be healthy.

Family departure, a growing phenomenon

In the United Kingdom there is a charity organization called Stand Alone that provides support to people who have made the decision to separate from their families. According to your reports, At least one in five families live a family departure.

Family departure is defined by this organization as the loss of affection that occurs for years within a family.

Although it is a more common phenomenon of what is thought, it is still a recent field of study. Many of the removal cases are due to humiliations, detachment, lack of support and criticism, among other reasons. There are no specific data, but many health professionals and sociologists are noticing that the breakdown of relationships between parents and children is growing in the West.

What is emotional negligence in childhood?

There is no exact definition for this type of distancing, but most experts agree that It arises when a person cuts any type of communication with one or more family members. This situation also extends over time.

The occurrence of this phenomenon has caused many academics to refer to it as a "Silent epidemic" that has occurred in recent years. It is common to observe in social networks the growing number of groups that provide online support to children who, and being adults, have made the decision to distance themselves from their relatives.

Most of these distancing are initiated by the children, as stated by psychologist Joshua Coleman, who wrote the text: The rules of the departure: why the children break the ties with their parents (and how to heal that break).

According to Coleman, One of the main reasons for these departments to occur are the acts of violence that have occurred in the past, Whether these verbal, emotional, physical or sexual.

Another factors that influences this decision is divorce, which can lead to children preferring to be from one of the parents. There are also discussions about values, when these are not shared, then, every day identity becomes a determinant to choose who you want to have close and with whom to cut relationships.

Children who cut relationships with their parents and mental health

It is important to highlight that there is an increase in awareness about mental health and this has caused many people to realize the toxic that can be to sustain a relationship with a relative that is violent, for example.

Although family conflicts are not novel, today many consider that The break with some family members can constitute a personal growth signal. That is, many apply the exercise of distance as a life strategy.

At the same time that many people focus on their mental well -being, another phenomenon takes place: the culture of individualism.

At the moment, Many individuals are more independent of their relatives than in other generations And they don't need a family member as support, so they choose to keep other people with whom they share aspirations.

Coleman said that: "Today nothing ties an adult with her parents, beyond the desire of the son of having a relationship with them". In addition to this, there are also the opportunities to live and work in different cities, even countries, and be far from the family.

Those who decide to distance themselves from their parents for mental health reasons, refer that they have experienced positive impacts, since sustaining the relationship was more harmful.

However, although there may be an improvement in mental health and a greater degree of freedom, There are also those who distance and feel stress, instability or humiliation, especially in societies that do not understand this phenomenon and have to question who has moved away.

There are those who live the fact of cutting relationships with their parents as a loss, since, in A family, in addition to material support, prevails the feeling of belonging to a group Stable people. Those who break links with their relatives may also feel that some festivities are a challenge, since in the past they could have had traditions with their parents or love the food that their mothers prepared and this makes them feel alone.

Cutting the relationship with parents is a decision that also affects other generations, as depriving that the little ones enjoy their grandparents -despite the fact that the emotional and mental cost of it must be evaluated-.

In the case of parents who suffer from the distancing of their children, they can feel alone. However, it is necessary to carry out more research that allows identifying good solutions to the growing rug.

Children of toxic parents

Bibliography

• COLEMAN, J. (2021). RULES OF STRAMMETMENT: WHY ADULT CHILDREN CUT TES AND How To Heal The Conflict. HAKE UK.
• COLEMAN, J. (2009). WHEN PARENTS HUST: COMPASIONATE STRATEGIES WHEN YOU AND YOUR GROWN CHILD DON'T GET ALONG. Harper Collins.