Elements to develop effective listening

Elements to develop effective listening

In interpersonal relationships, the structure of communication is essential, there is no other way to establish, sustain and maintain, human relations other than the way of healthy communication.

Typically we see communication from two actors: The issuer and the receiver, Which is fine, because communication demands these two participants, without neglecting, the channel, the type of message and others, but I will not emphasize these other elements.

But when talking about communication, inside the issuer and the receiver, there are psychological and cognitive categories, which are of vital importance for communication to achieve its main objective that is the understanding of individual positions, in the procurement of the understanding and integration, and the acceptance of criteria that establish healthy agreements.

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  • Effective listening, what should we avoid
    • 1. Avoid emotional listening
    • 2. Avoid prejudiced listening
    • 3. Avoid partial listening
  • Ensure a patient, prudent tolerant and comprehensive exposure

Effective listening, what should we avoid

I will define the Effective listening, As the reception of information by the receiver clearly and objectively, achieving the integration of the message received properly, therefore it responds to the intentionality of the issuer in terms of what you really want to communicate.

What do I mean? In simpler terms, the person who receives the message really understands what is being said, depending on what the issuer wants to communicate.

To listen to it, the receiver needs to be very clear that it is necessary:

1. Avoid emotional listening

At the time of communication, it is key that The receiver and the issuer, keep each other's emotions, to prevent communication from being distorted or complicated.

If the receiver is filtering things, for example, from anger, anger, tension, demotivation, this generates a very complex filter, which can put the person defensively, being the angry person, listening with little Empathy and openness becomes more difficult, which can create comprehensive blockages that make communication more difficult, in the meantime, perhaps incorrect words are said, or unpleasant justifications are sought, which could trigger an explosive reaction, Give free rein to the expression of a disproportionate anger that at all helps communication.

When listening is emotional, the message is distorted, losing its intentionality, by the issuer, and creating a subjective interpretation, possibly productive.

2. Avoid prejudiced listening

To listen to it, the receiver must be aware if he has developed a Subjective vision of the issuer, And he has put labels, prejudices to the receiver, from which he disqualifies, invalidates the message, for example if the receiver is based on the principle that the issuer is clumsy, silly, part of the prejudice that everything this person says, is stupid , it is possible that communication is complicated very quickly, because the receiver will seek any element in communication to reinforce the preconceived idea that it possesses, which distorts communication and complicates its fluidity, since there is a negative predisposition to everything Let it be said.

3. Avoid partial listening

One of the elements that causes great and strong conflicts in communication, is associated with the receiver, When it has a partial or intermittent listening, that is, it does not pay attention to everything expressed, or what is worse, does not allow the issuer to express its contents clearly and fluid.

This complicates communication, because the reactions of the other or another could be intense. When the issuer is giving his message, this habit of constantly interrupting, not only affects the fluidity of the issuer, but begins to divert the communication center, that is, the message, trying to capture the attention of the receiver, possibly creating a disorderly illion of the message, since it is constantly interrupted.

When listening is partial, the integration of the message is diluted, Possibly it is entered into a very conflictive communication, in which the issuer, in the face of interruption.

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These elements are of vital importance for the receiver and the sender, to assume a position that implies greater openness, sense and prudence In the analysis of the communication.

If we do not avoid emotional, prejudiced, partial listening, everything is complicated, it is necessary so much, give better results.

In order for listening to be effective, the other actor, the issuer, also has to contribute to this process, there are some basic communication behaviors that can contribute to the issuance of the message being more effective to cause a better listening.

  • Try an adequate structuring of the message, This is a responsibility of the issuer, being very clear to communicating is essential.
  • It helps a lot Explain the importance of the communication, In a concrete and precise way, the greater the structuring of the message, more clarity therefore, greater simplicity for understanding, which could cause the receiver to have a better disposition to listening, therefore the fluidity of the message is probably more diaphanous.

Try one Emotionally balanced emission, It is an inalienable condition in communication. Every issuer, regardless of the content of the message, is obliged to take care very good disposition, to provoke a healthy listening.

In very simple terms, there is nothing ugly, that you cannot communicate beautifully, trying to avoid creating unnecessary tensions or frictions.

Trying a good disposition is essential, but one step further, the issuer has to be clear that there are two variables in the understanding of his message: the clarity with which the message is given and the effectiveness with which it is being Received, if we add to this we add a good atmosphere, we take care of the form and style of communication, the understanding of the message by the receiver may be greater.

The issuer must have a good disposition to explain as many times as necessary, so that it is clear, which implies an adequate management of emotions, ensuring that frustration, anger, irritability, stress, are in control, with the aim of avoiding creating a tense climate, which causes unnecessary discussions or complications.

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Ensure a patient, prudent tolerant and comprehensive exposure

The issuer has to be very clear, that much of what he says is not understood to the first, or not analyzed by the receiver from the perspective raised, this could eventually create a sense of resistance to the message sent, this goes imply a deeply assertive effort, so that communication can flow.

Therefore it is important, Make visual contact, When necessary, make a graph, explain things in the most pedagogical way possible, when the issuer loses patience, because he considers that the receiver does not understand, it must be remembered that it may be that the receiver may not be understood, but there are also that considering that communication may not be so comprehensive, hence the need for a positive recurrence about the message, through different means, forms and expressions, so that the message is clear, if it is of the case, it is required Explain it until it is understood and integrated by the receiver.

Communication as a process is something central in the life of any human being, but I think that many pay little attention to learning, learn about issuance and reception, about assertiveness.

Learn above all this helps create positive circumstances that contribute to communication is healthy, It is everyone's responsibility and I consider it important that we assume this issue with commitment and seriousness, because there is no human relationship that does not imply communication at any level.