Polyamor, another way of understanding relationships

TO Polyamor It is called the tendency or preference of love with more than one person at the same time and in a context in which all the people involved are aware of said situation.

It is a relationship mode that is maintained over time and is not limited to short intervals such as couple exchanges. Its practitioners emphasize transparency and honesty in their relationships and describe it as Non-Monogamia consensual, ethics and responsible. It is not the same as Polygamy, the latter is a marriage of an individual of a sex (generally man) with several people of the opposite sex.

The polyamoamo term can refer to the nature of a relationship at some point in time or a philosophy that marks the identity of the person. The term has a Greco-Latin origin; of "poly" which is a lot And from the Latin "Love".

People who identify as polyamorous reject the vision of sexual exclusivity And they think they are not necessary to have deep and committed love relationships. In this type of relationships sex is not a primary interest. In practice, polyamorous relationships are very diverse according to those who participate in them, for the majority, these relationships are built on the basis of loyalty, limit negotiation and understanding.

Content

• Polyamor forms
• Values ​​within the polyamor
• Criticism of the polyamor
  • Bibliographic references

Polyamor forms

The existence of diffuse limits in what can be and what cannot be done in a polyamorous relationship has made such a relationship know as non-monogamous

Even so, we can find some most frequent polyamorous relationships than others:

1. Hierarchical polyamor: In which there is a main and other secondary or peripheral relationship. Among the different types of polyamor, this is the one that most resembles traditional couple relationships in Western countries.
2. Polyifidelity: In this case, intimate relationships are restricted to a specific group of people in which outside this circle of people, sexual contact is not allowed.
3. Relational anarchy: Here the people involved do not have any restriction, although it is always based on consensus and requires a degree of commitment, these are not based on the creation of expectations from traditional gender roles.

Values ​​within the polyamor

Although polyamor can have very diverse forms there are basic principles that all participating people share

• Fidelity: They define fidelity as honesty with their loves regarding their relationships, fulfilling the commitments established with each of them
• Honesty and respect: Most of the polyamorous people highlight the importance of respect and communication with all their lovers-lovers
• Communication and negotiation: There is no uniform model of polyamorous relationship, practitioners decide how they want to develop the relationship. The important thing is that it is clearly defined among all its members, the polyamorous take negotiation as a continuous process throughout the life of the relationship.
• Detachment: They shy away from the other person's owners, they pursue love as an enrichment rather than a threat to their bond, they see how the possessive vision of relationships as something to avoid, although some alternatives include possessive primary relationships in combination with other secondary relationships detached, common in open marriage, or asymmetric relationships in which possession only applies in a sense.
• Compression: It is defined as an emotional state of empathic happiness when seeing another person being happy, it would be the opposite state of jealousy. This term applies to when a person experiences positive feelings when seeing their partner enjoying another relationship.

Criticism of the polyamor

Most societies and religions expect the person to choose a single person to form a couple, so they are contrary to this type of relationship. People say that, By dividing love between several couples, love decreases, Every relationship implies time, space and dedication.

From the polyamor this vision is rejected, arguing that love is not destroyed by division, they say that it is a vision too pragmatic and utilitarian and that according to that idea new friends could not be made since it would waste time to be with the old.

Polyamor practitioners often see monogamas as frequently based on the thoughtless acceptance of social and harmful mandates such as possessiveness, Dependency and jealousy, to be polymoric, this cultural imposition needs to be transcended and to reach a deeper and broader compression of what the concept of loving means, and thus, being able to experience sincere respect for individual freedom. They consider it a way of love superior to monogamy, a more evolved form.

Polyamor is much more fluid than the traditional monogamous relationship, thus Polyamorous relationships end to the extent that their participants consider convenient. This is part of the polyamor flow and can end are the bitterness that accompanies many of the ruptures of monogamous relations.

Bibliographic references

• Easton, D and Hardy, J . (2013). Promiscuous ethics. Spain: Melusina.
• Sheff, e. (2019). Notes on polyamor. Spain: counts you have me.
• Barker, m., And Langdridge, D. (2010). What Ever Happened to Non-Monogamies? Critical Reflections on Recent Research and Theory. Sexualities, 13, pp. 748 - 772.