Disorders in maternal function

Maternity is a function that responds to a biological need related to the conservation instinct of the species. Mothers respond to their role according to the development of their experience, which is fed by the emotional inheritance transferred by their ancestors and the model received from their parents, both in the gestational and training period. Due to the above, much of the basis of expression of their maternal function are unconscious. Reason that drifting enough mothers and leaves them in a sea of ​​doubts, insecurities and attitudes that abandon it in an inhospitable and desolate place.

For the aforementioned and despite the much preparation to play the role of mother, It is common for women to be disoriented and act without consciousness, subject to consequences on her children, incomprehensible to her. The mother requires recognizing, first of all, her behavior. This is the reason for sharing this article.

Next, I expose the types of disorders in the behavior that mothers can hold when they fulfill their function. It is important to clarify that the main function of a mother is none other than, deliver children who contribute to society and for this it is essential that these beings be independent, autonomous and mature; virtues that are precisely the children of the mother's types that I am going to tell you. To identify these disorders, we will take some contributions from the book that in the end I mean.

Content

• Overprotective mother
• Santa-Obreprotective mother
  • Mother-daughter relationship
  • Mother-child relationship
• The supplier son
  • Appendix
• Father's influence on this conjunction

Overprotective mother

This mother has two overproteger ways to her children: one is behave as a victim and the other as a dictator, Both are ways of manipulating to achieve what he wants and evade impotence both to love them and to meet other needs.

Mother victim We call it in this way "the saint", since the archetype of woman-mother that has been especially infused in Catholicism, is that of the Virgin Mary or other holy. The model corresponds to the of a woman suffered, sad and always sacrificed, This is a woman who retains her female energy, but acquires extreme behaviors such as becoming a martyr, subjected and apocada, in this profile our antigone archetype fits when she is a mother.

The other overprotective mother, "the dictator", It is an archetype of a woman who develops a male high, acquires a role of: tyrannical, tax, dominant and in some cases abuser. The behavior is strengthened when the father (her husband), is negligent, with a female high or does not exist.

Let us detail in the relationship of these two archetypes with their children:

Santa-Obreprotective mother

Mother-daughter relationship

This mother is characterized by: having low self -esteem, being insecure, opaque, fearful, suffered, she exercises control of her children, making the martyr, suffers with constancy and is unable to provide limits. This woman transmits to her children the image of the victim, which in many cultures is approved, especially those who worship the "Virgin Mary", it is an admired and venerated role. This mother also presents two extreme prototypes, the first is that of a supplicant mother, to which more, of all the requirements of her children, suffocation, is unable to delegate functions in them, does everything for them, inhibits her autonomy. A mother who makes children her appendices, catapulting them towards the degradation of Peter Pan, children trapped in "Mom's skirts". The other prototype is that of an immature mother, taken to the extreme, the woman assumes girl's behavior. Children will have to distribute - in the event that they are several - or completely or moderately assume the maternal functions. The most susceptible to this is the woman's daughter, since her maternal predisposition will induce her to supply her mother, making an antigone or girl-mother. It will be unlikely that this adult daughter can relate to a man to form a home, because he already has one to take care.

Concluding: the mother "holy" promotes in her daughters the acquisition of degradation such as Peter Pan, when she turns them into appendix, and an antigone when she is the one who behaves like a Peter Pan.

Mother-child relationship

Mother Holy, As we saw, it has an impact in two ways: one is controlling through victimism, forming both supply children of their needs and appendices, and the other is behaving as an equal (sister), I mean a mother-child, in which case the children, according to their character, supply this negligence to survive emotionally in the family, acquiring roles that supply the role that their mother does not fulfill. Of this overprotective mother, be it a victim or mother-child, children emerge with a clear predisposition to acquire as hidden spouse To his mother, if it is a son Peter Pan, he will be possessed by his mother, unable to separate physically and emotionally, although we cannot speak exactly that she is her hidden spouse, since this child's demand is from a mother, however, for the effects it is equivalent.  However, the complementary combination raises when the child acquires the role of “supplier” and protector of the mother, in this case she is her Emotional spouse. Although for the consequences it is the same: both the son Peter Pan and The supplier They have as a supply of the integrity to his mother, the difference is in the behavior. For both types of child, sentimental relationships will become sporadic and exclusively sexual spirit.

From the psychological point of view, this behavior could be related to the "Oedipus complex”, Which is a stage that according to Freud It appears in children between 4 and 7 years of age, it is when the son "falls in love" of his mother and sees his father as a rival to win, which naturally vanishes, after this age. However, we are talking about a child who in addition to not having overcome said complex, acquires roles that do not correspond to him, as a consequence of a mother with great behavioral disorders, which accentuates his inability to develop maritally and usually acquiring his mother as his mother as Emotional spouse.

Let's look at children's behavioral possibilities:

The supplier son

This is a man who from a young age is his mother's partner, a typical antigone in male version, a sacrificed. This child begins to mature early, is serious, responsible, speak and act as a man being a child, Little by little he takes care of the mother and brothers, hence the firstborn is more likely to play this role, as an example, let's take Hector, The older brother of Lucy, In the last case we have exposed. He, once the father dies, assumes his role and although he depended in a sick way of his mother (Angela), like the other children, assumes the function of "being the economic and emotional provider" of his mother ". Hector He becomes the supplier of his mother's male needs, knew his ailments, his requirements, his tastes, feelings, secrets and bought him to intimate clothes; Every time she called him, he attended hurriedly, his decisions made them in full agreement with Angela. He also guided, rebuked, censored and advised his brothers. The son supplier It is currently single, as in this case, remember that Hector He had turned 40, was the only one of the sons, without offspring and had never married or had a marital relationship, his relationships were sporadic, despite being an attractive, interesting, hardworking and honest man.  Hector He was sentenced to end next to his mother, perhaps convicted until the death of Angela, That would perhaps the only thing that would move him to look for a woman: feel loneliness.

He Supplier He is a difficult man to compromise, evasive, an eternal boyfriend, if he decides to marry he will do it at an age greater than 35, they are usually excellent parents (when they detach them from the brothers), but suspend as spouses. It is common for having several divorces or separations, it is unable to satisfy his wife. It is the man who needs the constant approval of his mother, the wife or girlfriend is chosen by his mother. If you get your own family, you seek to clone your original family in the current one, constantly remember what your mother said and did when I was a child, with special sadness. He usually lacks emotional commitment to his wife, is usually a dionysus.

Appendix

It is the typical Peter Pan we have spoken, canceled. His behavior is similar to that of the daughter Appendix; He avoids responsibilities, is unproductive, useless, decimated in his personal and social value. Physically, they can stand out in it, their face, body or tone of voice, work is unstable, it will seek an activity related to children and even in extreme cases it can relate to them sexual and emotionally (since their world is the childish). Evades its economic, labor and sentimental responsibilities. For this reason he is incapacitated to form his own family, and if he succeeds, he looks for a woman of his mother's same model, delegating his responsibilities in others.

This type of man, more than a wife, requires a mother. Therefore, your Emotional spouse It is really a mom. In other women will seek sex, fun or company. It is the typical son who opts for drugs, alcohol or any other vice. In many homes it is the black sheep; Logically, except for her mother, she can see reality. Some children of this type, after the death or absence of their mother, can reach suicide.

Father's influence on this conjunction

The father in these cases is generally absent, either due to death, divorce or abandonment, although he can also be a negligent, in whose situation we would be talking about a person who evades his paternal-confuser responsibilities, through work, television, alcohol or some deviation that occupies your attention; Therefore, a father who partially or totally abandons his emotional obligations. In the same way you can deal with a father dictator (We will see it later) that mistreats his wife and children and consistently reinforces the role of a victim or wife of the wife. This situation, the mother perceives her as threatening for her children and instinctively overprotectively, for pity of "physical or emotional ill -treatment"; wrapped in a circle of defense-attack, since when the mother most defends the children, the father more jealous, envy, anger and resentment accumulates against their sons.