Stop talking to someone, a type of punishment

Silence can be the answer to many conflicts. Stop talking to someone is a way that some use to express their anger, their disagreement or reproaches. Paradoxical behavior that without saying anything, is saying everything. An emotional manipulation and blackmail strategy that many people use to punish the other. Let's deepen.

The use of silence as punishment

Talking to someone after a conflict that seems to have no solution, is not usually pleasant. But if instead of trying to establish a dialogue, silence is chosen the situation can be even worse. Shut up after a discussion are usually accompanied by an awkward emotional tension. An unpleasant feeling that can lead to more hatred and resentment.

In some situations, participants may choose silence to lower their anger level. A momentary decision to calm down and resume conversation with the aim of reaching a midpoint. In these cases, the use of silence is a positive strategy to relieve and give way to a calmer conversation.

Now, there are also those who despite what happened avoid dialogue or reject any communication attempt on the other. They do not want to speak and do not even maintain visual contact. Do as if the other person did not exist. This generates a lot of suffering in whom it tries to solve what happened since it is somehow despised and ignored by the other, that is, none.

In these cases, Stop talking to someone is used as a punishment for the other to bend and submit. A child behavior that does not solve anything, but that does generate a lot of damage and works as a selfish gratification for which it starts it.

Stop manipulating

Sometimes the danger is not only found in words. As we see, silence can also be a double -edged sword weapon with great power. A passive-agreesive attitude that violates the other implicitly and even can generate until feelings of guilt.

What initially seems to be a behavior lacking information, carries multiple meanings. And worst, nothing is clear. Do not receive a response from the other generates a feeling of difficult and uncomfortable uncertainty.

For the person who stops speaking there are clear reasons that justify their behavior, as well as expectations about how everything will end. But maybe you would have to question them. The safest thing is that the person who has denied speech does not understand what happens very well. Even your method may not be as effective as you think, since the only thing it generates is distance.

People with emotional resources will know how to handle these types of situations and even put limits If the situation gets too far. But those who lack them can dive into a spiral of dependence and discomfort, being trapped. These will offer all kinds of things to satisfy the other in order to end.

The good use of silence

On the other hand, there are also times when silence can be a good option. Especially in those in which anger surpasses us and the only thing we consider is to accuse, criticize or hurt the other. In these types of situations, nothing better than stop speaking as a precautionary measure. Although if we warn that we need time, it will be much better.

Shut up to recover calm will relieve our tension And in this way, we will be able to talk with the other in a quieter way. It is true that sometimes we will have to face the challenge of dialogue, even being angry. But the solution is not silence, but try to understand what happened, taking into account both the perspective of the other and ours.

Talking in disagreement is not easy, but it is not impossible either. The important is have the intention of understanding and not judging, to reach an agreement And not to be right.

Non -violent or empathic communication, developed by Marshall Rosenberg, can be a good alternative. Learn to speak from the heart, taking care of our language. This type of communication implies going beyond our needs, taking into account the other, listening to it. A good way to relate to build bridges instead of barriers.