Living with the hyperactive child

There is no unique method that is better than another to raise a hyperactive child; In the same way that there is no single way to educate. The best guide will always be the one you choose. Only remember that the best way to build that lost attention of the hyperactive child will be to recognize its -very positive aspects-. The best reward that your child will receive from you is your positive reaction.

Guide for parents with hyperactive children

To start many parents you think that your child could be one of those children but you are not yet safe and the first step of taking him to the doctor-psychiatrist or specialist is difficult; for you.

The first thing we recommend is to contact the pediatrician or with specialists on the subject. They will globally assess the child to make the true diagnosis and from it to be able to treat it. In This link there is an orientation questionnaire, But you must keep in mind that the brief questionnaire included only gives you guidelines, but it is not conclusive, nor in itself has a diagnostic value.

Clarified this we assume that your son or daughter has been TDAH diagnosed (Attentional deficit with hyperactivity). The first thing is to obtain all the information to help him because it is not an occasional disorder but will accompany him throughout his life and the parents have to live with him. Medical-psychological treatment is extremely important since its family environment is its maximum support and support. It depends much on its evolution. A favorable coexistence will facilitate its insertion and development while a negative coexistence will further break its interior being able to trigger other psychological diseases.

A practical case

And at this point I want to tell you a real practical case:

Guillermo began to show signs of hyperactivity when he was around three years. Grandparents always took care of him because his mother worked and when he returned home he barely wanted a child. Those around him explained his hyperactivity as he was a naughty and nervous child as his mother as a child but this did not represent anything and did not need any psychologist to explain or treat a behavior that they considered normal in the children. I would have time to change, they said.

The only thing that could be the cause was the way to relate mother and son in the first months of life. His relationship was negative on the one hand because of the mother's post-participation depression and on the other because of the bad contact with the baby, increasingly needed with a love that was denied.

Time passed and when Guillermo was 6 years old and schooling began, it was there, in school, where they were alerted that something happened because the boy was scattered and uncontrolled. In short, they went to a specialist who confirmed my initial diagnosis and that was when they put him in medical treatment. But medical treatment was not enough and then therapeutic sessions began but only him, so that the evolution was not favorable because the family environment remained the same: an always absent father who tried to get home as soon as possible to avoid the problems and a children's and hysterical mother who only cared for herself. His relationship with the child began to seem fearful as if they were afraid of his reactions. The boy began to acquire some power in the family for misunderstanding of his illness, but he was still unhappy because he did not know what was happening and his parents were affectively far from him.

To alleviate the misunderstanding and mismatch of that family nucleus, they decided to have another baby and that event deeply altered the already unstable personality of Guillermo. The grandparents tried to replace the love he did not receive from the parents, giving him everything he wanted with the consequence of the child becoming capricious.

He currently counts 12 years and everyone tolerates him because they fear him and that power achieved, which in a past was important for Guillermo, ceases to be when he is already aware that he is a different child, and that in the 6 years he has been medicated, treated and changed to specialist has only been a problem to solve for parents, school and their classmates.

An incomprehension and lack of support from their immediate surroundings have led to Guillermo's unfavorable evolution. No one is to blame but he less than anyone.

Hyperactive children and school

In school hyperactive children live a greater challenge than in their family environment, Because at school they do not have their usual support that parents are usually. In school many teachers do not usually know how to treat them because these children break the schemes of the class that masters could have pre-established. Sometimes they scold or punish them because they distort or do not pay attention but you have to think that a hyperactive child does not know why he acts as he does, he does not intend to be the way it is, he simply cannot avoid it.

A strategy that can be more positive with hyperactive children is to accept that there is a problem and adapt learning to that problem. For example, if something new has to. Keep in mind that they also tire more, so that more rest periods must be incorporated so that the final result is better.

When you teach children with ADHD, keep in mind that they cannot pay attention to a large range of concepts, so we must highlight the important. Its learning pace will be different from the rest of the group but you have to treat the child individually To prevent school learning from being the cause of added problems. The school must be flexible and treat these children according to the needs of each.

The theme of colleagues is another source of problems; Children with ADHD are unpopular and normally rejected children for their usual nonconformity and impatience. One way to help him is to stimulate him to continue, that he does not give up, that he tries to understand how the other children feel in front of their reactions.

In it family environment The first problem that arises is the feeling of guilt that floats in each of the components. Parents can face each other because of that disorder that the child presents, do not understand the causes or often how to address it and think that the drug and therapeutic sessions will be enough. Parents tend to see the negative aspects that are the consequences of the disorder, but these are enlarged because they take a normal child and a child with ADHD is different. If instead they tried to recognize the positive points of his behavior, surely the child would feel more supported. If it starts from the basis that the hyperactive child does not attend and not for still and we look at the time that passes still and attending for sure that we will see in another way. Besides If we positively reinforce it for every time that passes by attending or still enhance your self -esteem and help you develop more effectively. Often the best reward they can receive is parents' attention.

Good rewards should be:

• Offered with love and affection.
• Consistent.
• Immediate.
• Pleasant.

The environment of the hyperactive child must be evaluated and treated because its evolution depends on it. Parents have to be able to go to therapy, to treat conflicts that are generated by having a child with this family disorder.

Guillermo's parents continue their own path and every time time passes they feel more helpless in the face of the son's disease. They have formed triad with their other little son, leaving aside the "big problem", Guillermo. Each time they support it less and among them two no longer exists as possible. They have thrown their vine overboard, but the saddest thing is that they have overturned Guillermo to a failure sung in all aspects of their life. What more bleak future awaits you? These parents were not responsible for the hyperactivity of their child but they are of their maintenance and negative evolution.

Try to understand your hyperactive son and help him. He needs you despite not knowing how to tell you. Your support is more necessary than daily medication. Worry about him and don't give it out.