Tips to overcome the duel for the death of a loved one during the COVID-19

In addition to the anxiety that can cause us to keep enclosures, COVID-19 has brought with them other obstacles to our mental health. We do not stop listening to the news as the number of deaths in our country continues to increase and, many of the families of the very vulnerability situations that can cause more complicated duels than usual.

Passing a duel is a difficult time for anyone, but it can become more difficult even in the situation in which we are, to Not being able to say goodbye to our loved ones or not being able to make a funeral, which is possible that it negatively affects the process of overcoming that loss, being able to become a pathological duel.

The duel consists of the adaptation process after the loss of an affective relationship. The duel process follows a series of stages that you can find in the following article: how to overcome the death of a loved one. Knowing the stages of duel can be useful to locate ourselves in a moment of bewilderment and uncertainty And thus understand a little better what we are feeling. However, the current situation can cause changes in the way in which we face the loss, since it occurs in exceptional circumstances.

If someone has recently died of your close environment, it is possible that sadness, helplessness, uncertainty and even guilt, abound between your feelings. It is important that you understand that all these feelings are normal and that This is a slow process, but you will overcome little by little.

Guidelines to help you face the loss

1. If it is not possible to make a farewell ritual it is important that you find some way to be able to say goodbye. You can make a writing and share it with your relatives, write a letter addressed to your loved one where you expose your feelings, write a newspaper where you write how you feel every day ..
2. Can Create a place with memories And things that symbolize the relationship you had with that person, go to that place when you need it and use it as a farewell ritual.
3. Let yourself cry if you need it. You can use that place that we have recommended to dedicate a moment a day to think about that person and allow you to feel any emotion that arises at that moment.
4. It is normal that you may feel certain guilt For not having been able to be next to your loved one in those final moments, but you have to be aware that these limitations have not depended on you and have been like that to avoid a greater evil, more infections and more deaths. Your sacrifice, without a doubt, has also saved lives.
5. On the other hand, it is important that Do not abandon yourself or emotionally (Remember that this is essential): sleep well, eat well, do physical exercise and listen to your body. Prepare yourself as a normal day before confinement, that will help you feel better.
6. Ask for help if you need it, If you need to talk to relatives or friends, Ponte Encontact With them and tell them how you feel. It is important at the moment to be connected in some way with the people with whom you have more will help you feel listening and express your feelings.
7. If there is a child in home that alsoandn this suffering the pandyield, it is very important that you are honest@ with andl/her. Allow him to participate in any farewell rite that you do and encourage him to express what he feels. Try to stay close to him/her emotionally.
8. And the most important, Do not extinguish too much, teithermate he time that be necessary. Each person needs a different time to overcome a loss. It is normal to cry and not feel good, and you need to adapt your rhythms to this new situation.
9. If someone around you has suffered a loss and you don't know how to act in this situation you can follow the following indications:

• • It is important that you accompany him in his pain, Show your support and express your feelings. Make it clear that even if you cannot accompany you physically, you will be there for what you need in these difficult times.
  • Use the new technologies to make video called, as long as the person is encouraged to it.
  • Use active and empathic listening when you talk to him/her and let him express everything he feels. Do not hold his cry, or "force" him to be fine. It is important that you do not use the typical phrases that we have all heard sometime, such as: "Dare", "Do not cry", "Life continues", "Be strong" ... These phrases will not help you overcome the loss and can even do that feels worse. First of all we must encourage the expression of emotions and talk about the loved one if the person in duel needs it.
  • Be comprehensive and give it the necessary time. In these moments of uncertainty and pain it is important to support and help in everything we can.

And if you are in this situation and you feel overpass, remember that you can always get in touch with the Aidé psychologists team. Now, more than ever, let's not forget to celebrate life every day. Be live the present!

Author Ana Macías, collaborator of Aidé Psychology.