How to know if it is love or dependence

When a relationship begins, it is normal to experience deep crush that leads us to think that every moment with that special person. However, as the relationship progresses, the real personalities of each person and the defects and virtues of each will come to light, which will favor that the relationship stabilizes and consolidates. However, during this process some people become so dependent on the couple that neglect other fundamental pillars in their life.

Therefore, in this psychology-online article we will tell you How can you know if it is love or dependence What you feel, in addition to explaining in detail the main differences between love and emotional dependence.

1. You live to please your partner
2. You are unable to be happy if you are alone
3. Excessive jealousy
4. Lack of selfesteem
5. Decision capacity disappears
6. Permanent fear of something happens to your partner
7. Idealize the other person
8. There is no option to negotiate
9. Constant need to receive signs of affection
10. Permanent fear of infidelity

You live to please your partner

When a person is emotionally dependent on another, his only motivation to live will be to please his partner. In this way, getting their approval at all costs is the only thing that matters to them, so the dependent or the dependent will do everything possible to satisfy your partner, although that goes against the principles themselves.

On the contrary, in healthy love each member of the couple will try to reach beneficial agreements in which both feel calm and can grow on a personal level.

You are unable to be happy if you are alone

Another of the main signs that it is not love, but dependence, is to feel that your world collapses that when you are far from the couple. Consequently, the dependent person will try be with that person,Although it can bother him and cause the breakdown of the relationship.

Similarly, if you are dependent you will feel a continuous feeling of fear of abandonment, which can lead to the third -party company at all times. Likewise, the absence of the couple usually causes somatic symptoms, such as throat oppression, palpitations, anxiety states and, in more severe cases, depression.

Excessive jealousy

People with emotional dependence develop pathological jealousy that are born without apparent cause. For this reason, their social relationships are limited, since the dependent will try to control all aspects of his partner's life.

In some cases they can even appear compulsive attitudes to control each couple's step In your daily routine. This characteristic of emotional dependence on the couple usually causes relationships to be stormy and little last.

Lack of selfesteem

Another factor that explains very well the difference between love and dependence is that the dependent person will have low self-esteem, So you will neglect your own personal, affective and even labor environment.

In fact, the dependent person usually develops a Submissive attitude in which, indirectly, he shows the couple that he does not love and that he needs to be loved to be happy.

Decision capacity disappears

Emotional dependents have the impression that They are not able to make any decision Without his partner. This belief makes them vulnerable to the different situations of daily life, since they feel lost and unable to identify their own desires.

It is a kind of "devitalized state" that places them in a very fragile position, since, even if they are with the couple, they will not be able to show their real wishes. In addition, every time the loved one moves away, the mind of the dependent will enter a kind of pause until he meets his loved one again.

Permanent fear of something happens to your partner

The continuous fear that something happens to your partner is another characteristic of people who depend emotionally on another. It is a permanent feeling to control the couple's footsteps, to prevent something or someone hurting. Although in the first instance it sounds like something very romantic, in the long run it gets to suffocate the couple because it feels that their independence steals.

Likewise, the reasons for this type of fears are almost always unfounded and lead people to Imagine terrible scenarios. For this reason, an endless compulsive attitudes chain such as calls, mails, texts, among other obsessive and controlling behaviors can originate.

Idealize the other person

With emotional dependence, the couple is idealized to the point where You do not see the defects or recognize their mistakes. The image you have of your partner falls into the stereotype of perfection, something very dangerous because it will not let you see beyond reality.

On the contrary, in healthy and balanced relationships each member of the couple recognizes that they have defects and virtues and support to be better people every day.

There is no option to negotiate

The person who depends emotionally on another will not be able to question or negotiate anything with his partner, since he feels a lot of insecurity and fear of losing him/. For this reason, the dependent will accept all kinds of decisions and actions without imposing their own limits.

In fact, the relationship in this type of couples becomes a series of norms that must be followed to the letter to like the other person.

Constant need to receive signs of affection

Emotional dependence generates the Permanent need to receive affection signs And without them the person will feel that they do not want or value it. For this reason, although the details are essential to keep any relationship alive, when a mandatory demand or requirement becomes an obstacle to the couple's happiness.

Permanent fear of infidelity

Next to obsessive jealousy, the constant fear that the couple abandons you for another person. In these cases, there are not even signs of infidelity to suppose that your partner is being unfaithful, since any phone call, exit with friends, message or any other contact with another person will make you believe that you will soon leave you.

Finally, to overcome emotional dependence it is necessary. That is, learn first to love yourself so you can be happy in any type of relationship.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to know if it is love or dependence, We recommend that you enter our category of feelings.