How to tell your partner that you need space

The idea of ​​space in a relationship usually has a negative connotation and can be associated with a break, however, it is an important element to create healthy relationships. Intimate relationships thrive when they achieve balance between the time they spend together and time alone. That balance is vital, so it is not only important to link and bet on the relationship, but also respect the space to devote to other important areas outside the couple.

Depending on the stage of the relationship and attachment style, one person can yearn for more space, while, on the contrary, the other longs for closer. In these cases, telling it to your partner can be difficult, especially if your partner does not seem to need as much space as you. Therefore, in this Psychology-online article, we explain to you How to tell your partner that you need space.

1. How to know if you need space in your relationship
2. Communicate openly and honestly
3. Kindness and empathy
4. Explain what you want to say with "Space"
5. Mention why having space is important for you
6. Solve your doubts
7. Make it
8. Explain how space can help your relationship
9. Express your enthusiasm for time together
10. Reaffirms its value
11. Don't feel guilty

How to know if you need space in your relationship

There are some signs that will help you realize whether you need space in your relationship. We show you below:

• Constant discussions about small things: A sign that you need space in your partner is when constant discussions occur, especially for trivial things, and you notice more irritable. Sometimes, taking distance and spending separate time, this cycle of disputes can be broken. For example, try to spend a separate weekend with other loved ones.
• Time together is not quality: If you no longer have fun in your relationship, if you feel exhausted after spending time together, if the idea that your partner joins your plans is so unattractive that you minimize what you are doing or do not tell your plans , it's time to take distance. Being together should be a pleasant moment, but if it is increasingly complicated, it means that you need to take space. However, if you avoid spending time at all costs, that could indicate that there is an incompatibility between the two.
• You don't do anything without telling your partner first: A very important sign that you need personal space in a relationship is when you cannot do anything without your partner knowing or without their approval. If you can't even buy basic products without warning your partner, it's an alarm signal.
• Their peculiarities no longer please: If the small oddities that made your special partner and they were pleasant to you are no longer fun, but rather they seem uncomfortable and even bother you, it is probably a good idea to spend a separate time.
• You are stressed or exhausted: When a person crosses a moment of stress or tension, spending too much time as a couple can cause friction and that the person "explodes", which could be harmful to the long time in the relationship. Therefore, if there is any situation that is stressful, it is a good idea to spend some time alone, even if the reason for your discomfort is external to your relationship. Taking time to be alone can help you discover where stress comes from and, when you find out, you can address it more constructively and without damaging the relationship.
• You don't feel yourself: If you feel exhausted, irritable or you simply do not feel yourself. It is time to have more time for you. ¿How can you have a healthy couple if you don't feel heard and there is no place for what you feel and want? Authenticity is the only way to develop a deep bond with your partner. Have time and space to be able to express your identity better is essential.

If you feel identified with one or more of these signals, it is time to ask your partner that you need space. It is normal for you to worry about what, whether you have started out or have a long -term relationship, it is very important Communicate this need for space correctly. Next, we give you some tips so that you can address the issue of the best way and that your relationship remains solid.

Communicate openly and honestly

The indirects are never a good idea, since they are part of a passive-agreesive communication style and will not help your partner to understand you. On the contrary, if you use them. You may wonder why you don't communicate openly and sincerely with him/her. For this reason, if you want your partner to understand that you need your space, it is important that you communicate honestly.

If you don't know how to do it, do not miss this article on how to improve communication in the couple.

Kindness and empathy

¿How to create your own space? Your partner will be easier to understand your point of view if you keep calm and respect throughout the conversation. Therefore, the best is wait to have the conversation at a quiet moment When you both are in a good mood so that it is more receptive. Naturally express what you need and do not feel guilty for wanting a while for you, but do not blame your partner for how you feel.

Explain what you want to say with "Space"

Another aspect that you should take into account when telling your partner that you need space is to explain exactly what you need to avoid confusion. Many people associate the term space with the end of the relationship and it is possible that your partner worries when you mention it.

Therefore, Be specific to what it means to tI and offers details about what kind of space you want, whether time or more time to develop your other relationships.

Mention why having space is important for you

People need space for different reasons. In your case, Think why you are looking to have a little more distance and communicate it. If your partner knows why you need it, it will be more comprehensive.

In this sense, it is useful to use first -person phrases to describe how you feel to put more emphasis on your emotions and less on your partner. For example, you can say "I feel exhausted when I get out of working, so I need a couple of hours alone to relax and disconnect".

Solve your doubts

If you need space in the couple, it is important to communicate it. Even so, normal that your partner arises doubts or generates some kind of confusion your need for space, especially if it is the first time you let it know. For this reason, It is important that you clarify any questions that has for no communication problems in the relationship.

Listen to what you have to say and think about your answers before answering. In addition, you can also take the opportunity to reaffirm that your relationship is important for you and, therefore, you want both of you to be comfortable and happy in it.

Make it

¿How to tell your partner that you need space? In doing so it is possible that he or she feels guilty and worried or thinks that she has been able to do something to get away from her. If this happens, Remind him that it is normal to spend some time separate in a relationship and that is necessary. Similarly, explore that it is not due to your behavior that has moved you away, at least as long as it is not the case.

Explain how space can help your relationship

Likewise, another excellent way to tell your partner that you need space and that it will make him more open/to the idea is Explain the benefits of having space for each one. In this way, spend time doing things separately can strengthen the link much more, since you can miss and grow individually.

Express your enthusiasm for time together

As we have mentioned before, it is possible that your partner worries that you get away from it. For this reason, make sure it is not the case reminding you that you still enjoy time together. Without a doubt, your partner will feel safer knowing that, although you spend time alone, you also want to be with him/her.

To do this, you can let her know the desire to spend quality with her and make plans together in the future.

Reaffirms its value

In any case, it is important that your partner feels valued, so it is important express how much it means to you. Therefore, when you are going to tell you that you need space, remember that it is still a very important part of your life and that you are only asking for that space to strengthen your relationship. This article on how to positively handle emotions and feelings you can help you in these cases.

Don't feel guilty

Having space to concentrate on you and your friends, family, professional career and hobbies is essential, not only for your own well -being, but also to maintain a healthy relationship. For this reason, even if your partner does not respond well to your need for space, It is important that you stand firm And don't feel guilty.

To feel quieter, explain that you want it and that your need for space is something completely normal that does not have to reduce the importance of the relationship.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to tell your partner that you need space, We recommend that you enter our category of couple therapy.