How to help my partner with anxiety

Anxiety is considered a displease psychological state that is accompanied by physiological symptoms such as the sensation of restlessness due to the expectation of an inaccurate danger. According to the World Health Organization (WHO)^[1], In 2019 there were 301 million people with some anxiety disorder. In addition, Covid-19 pandemic has caused a 25% increase in the prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide^[2].

As data shows, suffering anxiety is very common. In addition to the discomfort in the person who suffers from it, this emotion can also have a deep impact on personal relationships. Effectively support a loved one who suffers anxiety is usually complicated, since it is difficult to know which is the best way to do it. Therefore, it is very important to learn to react effectively to prevent anxiety from weakening the relationship with your loved ones. If your partner suffers anxiety, in this Psychology-online article, we will give you 10 advice on How to help my partner with anxiety.

1. Do not try to "fix" your anxiety
2. Do not minimize your concerns
3. Avoid inappropriate comments
4. Do not overprotegas
5. Listen to it when you need it
6. Validate your experience
7. Do not give up
8. Try to understand your partner's anxiety
9. Be honest and don't hide anything
10. Don't leave

Do not try to "fix" your anxiety

When your partner suffers anxiety, it is natural to want to relieve their pain, however, try to help you trying all your problems, or "solving" your discomfort, it is not the best way to do so for the following reasons:

• Can condition love: The fact of wanting to solve your partner's problems can convey that for you to want you to be well at all costs. In addition, if you do not leave space to their feelings, your partner may feel pressed to stop feeling how he feels.
• Can generate resentment in the relationship: Depending on your idea of ​​how to support your partner, this can generate resentment between them if your expectations are not met. It is an unfair interaction. Keep in mind that your partner has not chosen to have anxiety for their own will.

If you have doubts about what to tell my partner if you have anxiety, remember that you are not your therapist and that you cannot "cure" another person's anxiety. Even so, you can do everything possible to support it while learning to handle the situation. Instead of trying to "fix" your partner, simply Shows support and compression. Let him know that you would like to feel better because you love him, not because it is a requirement to be loved. In this article you will find more tips on what to do when your partner is sad.

Do not minimize your concerns

People who suffer from anxiety need a safe space to express yourself and ask for help. If they feel that their discomfort makes no sense, they may be isolated and still suffered, but in silence. Minimize your pain will not subtract suffering and, instead of neutralizing it, you may feel even worse.

So, if you want to help your partner with anxiety, keep in mind that the anxiety experience is universal. Instead of bringing importance to what he feels, he will take it in the same way that you would do it with a loved one who is having a bad time, but not necessarily due to anxiety.

Avoid inappropriate comments

There are certain tips that, although well intentional, may have the opposite effect. Comments like "There are worse things" are counterproductive. Your partner is likely to attribute their anxiety to negative components and feel guilty, as a burden for others or have feelings of uselessness.

For all this, to help someone with anxiety it is necessary Avoid saying things that can make you feel worse As, for example, "everything is in your head", "stop worrying so much" or "you are exaggerating". Although these expressions seem harmless, far from helping, they can be triggers for the person who receives them, who can feel responsible and guilty for their emotional state.

Do not overprotegas

¿How to support my partner with anxiety? Help does not mean that you must treat it as if it were a child, weak and fragile, that it cannot use itself. It's very important validate your feelings, But overprotect them from your anguish can have the opposite effect and, unintentionally, that can reinforce your anxiety.

It's hard to see the person you want, but You can't prevent you from feeling how you feel. When you try to overprotect it and pave the way, you are taking the opportunity to face their discomfort, learn to deal with these situations and develop self -confidence. In this way, overprotection could act as a factor that encourages anxiety.

If you are looking for advice on what to do in this situation, in this article, we explain how to help you an anxiety.

Listen to it when you need it

Listen to your partner actively and show empathy at all times. Accompany it in your discomfort instead of trying to reduce it. Interest yourself in how you feel, Ask him what you can do to help you, try to understand your experience, validate what is happening and show understanding.

Anxiety must be accepted with patience and kindness. Listen to the emotions of the person who suffers, ask and be open, even if you don't agree. Sometimes, it's enough to ask him how he is to know that he can count on you in difficult times.

Validate your experience

The validation of an emotional experience such as anxiety implies accept and recognize the thoughts or feelings of the other person. This spherious aspect to support your partner. Validation means letting your partner know that you understand that it is going through a difficult time.

Previously, we have already explained why minimize anxiety, saying things like "this is not so much", you can make things worse and hurt your partner. On the other hand, tell him things like "I see that this is really difficult at this time", will allow you to know your partner that you are trying to understand him without judging him.

Do not give up

Often, one of an anxious person's greatest fears is that he does not feel "deserving" of love. With the most frequency and naturalness that you can, Try to let you know that your relationship does not depend on your emotional state, If not many other things that nourish it. This will transmit security, which is key, since one of the components of anxiety is uncertainty. In this article you will see how to learn to manage uncertainty.

¿How to support my partner? Patience, open mind and affection will help you greatly in your fight against anxiety. Remember that Anxiety does not define the person or the relationship. A couple is a team. You can contribute positively creating positive experiences together: laugh, travel together, hug or do little everyday things that make you smile. Let's not underestimate the power of these little positive experiences, as they can serve as a stress shock absorber that causes anxiety.

Try to understand your partner's anxiety

¿How anxiety affects the couple? Being in a relationship with a person who has anxiety is not an easy task. Despite this, remember how much you love her and Be aware that all changes have been. Accept the fact that happiness looks different for each one. For some they can be trips, parties or shopping. For others, they are quiet moments, get home and relax.

For a person with anxiety it can be a day that passes without a panic attack, or it could simply be desired to do something I had not done for a long time.

Be honest and don't hide anything

If you are going late, call your partner or send it a fast text message so that it does not get on the worst possible scenario. If you have a medical illness, invoices payable or problems at work, do not hide it. Tell her honestly with him/her.

People with anxiety usually perceive when something goes wrong and this can trigger an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. Even if you do not want to worry, it is always better that you find out what happens for you and not by other media. If you want to help your partner with anxiety, Allow you to know what happens to you, since avoiding it, it is possible that you assume something worse than reality and get in the worst possible scenario.

Don't leave

Do not stop living your life, no matter how difficult it combines it when your partner is suffering. It's not about partying every day when your partner is crying in bed, but Maintain a balance. If it is your nephew's birthday, a friend's wedding, your brother's graduation, try to go and not neglect your social network and support. Propose your partner if you want to accompany you. If you don't feel wanting, don't force you. It's okay to go alone and enjoy the company of other loved ones.

Do not live it as a betrayal, because it is not. Actually, for several reasons, this It is healthy for your own well -being and for the quality of the couple. First, your partner will not feel the fault of "taking away" moments of happiness with other important people in your life. Second, you will not feel resentment towards him/she in the long term, since you will not have lost these moments for always being by his side.

You can keep maintaining your social network while supporting your partner with anxiety. Sometimes, remind him that you think about him/her and assure him that you will return home safe and except, it is already comforting.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to help my partner with anxiety, We recommend that you enter our category of couple therapy.

1. World Health Organization (2022) WHO underlines the urgency of transforming mental health and related care. Geneva press release. Available online: https: // www.quien.int/
2. World Health Organization (2022) Pandemia by COVID-19 causes a 25% increase in the prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide. Geneva. Available online: https: // www.quien.int/