Jealousy between siblings and how to treat them

Children's jealousy constitute a set of inadequate behaviors in children who, on many occasions, can destabilize family balance. Detect them and recognize them is an aspect of vital importance to address them properly and, thereby, return emotional and psychological well -being to the affected child and, with it, to his family.

In the following Psychology-online article we will present in detail the topic of jealousy between siblings, their causes, symptoms and the different ways of handling them.

1. Causes of jealousy between brothers in psychology
2. Symptoms and signs of jealousy between brothers
3. How to handle jealousy between brothers when they are children
4. How to work jealousy between older brothers

Causes of jealousy between brothers in psychology

The Children's jealousy They constitute a set of inappropriate behaviors of children who are carried out unconsciously and that can affect other areas of the child's life and the family environment in general. Through jealousy, children intend to express their fear of being abandoned for his attachment figures, especially for the mother, and They seek to get attention To reassure your fear. However, while jealousy causes challenge and provocation behaviors based on the resentment lived towards their parents and the envy they feel towards their brother, the response obtained by the child is just the one contrary to the desired one: the parents end up exhausted and/or angry and rebuke the child, far from offering the amparo that he really needs.

The main cause caused by children's jealousy is usually the Birth of a brother together with a "non -conscious" ineffective educational strategy of the parents that causes the syndrome of the "Destronement Prince". Given this event, the child lives a stressful situation because the appearance of his new brother is a threat to the relationship with his mother.

The cases in which jealousy can be more intense are when the child suffering from jealousy is not 3 years old, since it still has many affective needs to meet, Especially from the mother, and the birth of his brother will deprive him of a certain time of exclusivity that he had so far. However, and although the commented case is the most common, it can also happen that a child is jealous of his older brother. Actually, any situation of Special dedication and attention (conscious or unconscious) to one of the children or a erroneous subjective perception of it by one of the children, can generate jealousy in it.

Symptoms and signs of jealousy between brothers

Jealousy can be adaptive or pathological:

• The former are expected and fulfill an adaptive function by alerting the child in the new situation and generating defense mechanisms to adapt to the situation.
• The latter are maladaptive since they end up generating discomfort in the child and in the family in general. In both cases, the symptoms can be similar but they are much more intense and destructure In the case of pathological jealousy.

Heel behaviors aim to attract the attention of their caregivers. Some of the symptoms that manifest in the behaviors of jealous children are:

• Disobedience and/or indifference.
• Aggressive behaviors against the brother, against the mother or against other people or aggressiveness in general.
• School failure.
• Regressive behaviors: behaviors that, already surpassed, reappear like pis, child tone, etc.
• Depressive behaviors: isolation, sleep alteration, lower communication, greater sensitivity, greater distrust, etc. These behaviors are often much more imperceptible so, in many cases, they are not usually treated as they should.
• INSAN FOOD BEHAVIOR: Eat more for anxiety or less for depression. You can stop eating for jealousy.

How to handle jealousy between brothers when they are children

To manage jealousy that, almost naturally, usually arise in a child it is best to provide parents with tools to manage such a way that the child feels attended, As he needs, I recover self -confidence and can discard the idea that he has taken over him and has made him feel those irrational jealousy: "My parents do not want me" or "I don't go" or "my brother is better than better than I ... ", etc.

On many occasions the situation is not only a subjective perception of the jealous child but is real, therefore, it is essential strengthen your child's positive behaviors, Serenity welcoming the negative, without recriminating, since this behavior reinforces the belief in its "it was not worth" and, with it, its jealous behavior. Simultaneously, different activities carried out directly with the child will be very useful and, above all, incorporated by the family as part of the treatment.

For these cases and for those in which different moments of jealousy are given among the different brothers, we can carry out the following activities when children are small:

Children's stories about jealousy

Children's stories to work jealousy:

• The Cambalache
• ¡Julieta, be still!
• ¡Why will always be like that!

There are a wide variety of stories to work on children's jealousy that allow children to identify with the characters and adopt the solutions proposed in the stories.

Symbolic game

Perform symbolic games in therapy and family for the child Express your feelings And, at the same time, alternatives can be proposed to the behaviors adopted by the child.

Time and attention

Dedicate exclusive time for him telling him that, like his brother, he also has these moments of special attention.

CONFLICT REPRESENTATION

Family theater, representing conflicting real scenes and proposing alternative solutions to those taken by both the child and by the fathers or mothers.

Past and evolution

Remember the older brother what his parents did with him when he was like his younger brother. This will allow him to be aware that, like his brother now, he needed some attention that he does not need right now.

How to work jealousy between older brothers

When jealous cases occur in an older child or among several more advanced brothers, while they are at another evolutionary time, the recommendations will focus on their capacity of greater reasoning and understanding without forgetting, however, The most important aspect, the affective. In these cases, likewise, it is Show the child who suffers from jealousy that his internal devaluation belief is wrong. To do this, it is essential:

• Appreciate and highlight its positive aspects.
• Accompany their disruptive behaviors from serenity and firmness to set limits.
• Dialogue, Once the episode of jealousy has passed, about what happened by proposing hypotheses that allow him to empathize (putting himself in the place of his brother, his parents, etc.), suggesting or requesting alternatives to their behaviors, etc.
• Foster open communication and respectful worrying about their interests, their fears, ... for their life in general.
• Defting verbally and, above all, with acts their inferiority beliefs.

In any case, the most important tool to treat children's jealousy is the paternal awareness of the situation and accept the need for change that is required to reverse the situation. From here, the chances of success in treatment are practically guaranteed.

This article is merely informative, in psychology-online we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Jealousy between brothers: symptoms and how to treat them, We recommend that you enter our category of emotional and behavioral disorders.