Loving Bombing Toxic Strategy to Capture Couple

Initially, the term 'loving bombing' was raised as a technique to increase children's emotional well -being during parenting. However, over time it was discovered that this strategy was used by emotional manipulators. At the moment, It is considered a toxic tactic to capture a partner, based on blackmail and psychological vulnerability.

Through it, the blackmailer is able to quickly gain a person's confidence and take advantage of her for different purposes. In this article, You will learn to detect the 'Love Bombing' mechanisms, to avoid being part of this dangerous situation.

Content

• The origin of the term
• Loving bombardment as a strategy for blackmail
• Why is it so effective?
• How to avoid falling into the Love Bombing traps?
  • References

The origin of the term

The term Love Bombing was first used by clinical psychologist Oliver James, In his book 'The Power of Love Bombing: Reboot Your Child's Emotional Well-Being'. Initially, it was raised as a parenting strategy in which the parents tried to provide their children episodes in which they felt fully loved and in control of the situation. During the 'loving bombing', the son, instead of the father, would be responsible for controlling the activities to be carried out. The result of this technique leads to the infant to feel in control and gratified, which could be applied for a few hours, or up to several days.

This type of strategy shows the child who is loved unconditionally and that he does not need to win 'the love of his parents. Rather, the objective is to make you understand that, do what you do, it will remain valuable. This, avoids low self -esteem, negative self -assessments and generates positive emotions in them. In general, it is an enriching experience for self -concept.

Rosenberg self -concept test

Loving bombardment as a strategy for blackmail

As mentioned above, the original intention of the Love Bombing was to provide children with an environment of love and security. Unfortunately, many emotional chantagers are based on this same mechanism to link in couple relationships. The modus operandi of these people is to create an idealized relationship, in which trust is quickly established. 

Interpersonal links require enough time to build. However, in the loving bombardment the blackmailer is responsible for accelerating this process, providing his victim for constant gifts. Also, They fill them with words of affirmation, gestures of affection and endless compliments that provide the individual with the feeling that is in the presence of a person who loves him. This way of proceeding leads to the 'bombing', is hooked on this relationship.

Inevitably, the 'bombarde' begins to carry out activities that are gratifying for him, but that the manipulator rejects. At this point, he is punished with disapproval gestures. Little by little, The blackmailer is molding his behavior through basic reinforcement and punishment techniques. Through this method, they can achieve different objectives. Among them, to scam the victim, which is clearly evidenced in the Netflix documentary 'The Tinder Swindler'.

Why is it so effective?

We could think that we would be able to recognize a loving bombing with the naked eye, so we would not fall into these manipulations. However, it has been shown that this tactic is highly effective, as it is based on a safe attachment style. 

Attachment styles are developed according to the way in which caregiver has been linked to childhood during childhood. Safe attachment occurs when the child is in full confidence that his caregiver wants it unconditionally. This type of attachment allows to generate a healthy personality and effective links with other people. But, Only 65% ​​of people have been raised through safe attachment. This means that the rest of the population has been raised with rejection patterns and have been taught directly or indirectly that the love of others must 'win'.

In this thread of ideas, People who have established unsafe ties. This population is the most vulnerable, and in general, blackmark manages to identify them easily.

How to avoid falling into the Love Bombing traps?

If talking about recommendations, it is essential to attend therapy. If you think you have grown up in unsafe ties, it is essential to heal your way of relating, Well, it conditions you to fall easily into the Love Bombing.

Now, it is also important to distinguish between a relationship of real affection and a 'loving bombing'. The first requires reciprocal and gradual love and gradual samples. If you think a relationship is emerging too fast and with excessive and unexpected affection, it is surely a love bombing. On the other hand, blackmailers usually ask to start a formal relationship too soon. To avoid falling into this, it is essential to learn to set limits and put distance. Finally, it is suggested to have a solid support network: people to count in difficult times. Well, if you are in an emotional blackmail situation, these will be your best allies to open your eyes and see reality.

References

• American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition, DSM-5. American Psychiatric Publishing.
• Bowlby, j. (1979). The Bowlby-Ainsworth Attachment Theory. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 2 (4), 637-638.
• Higgins, b. The Tinder Swindler. RAW TV.
• James, or. (2012). Love Bombing: Reset Your Child's Emotional Thermostat. Routledge.
• Javed, s. (2022). What is love bombing? The Tinder Swindler portrays this dangerous abuse technique. The Independent in Spanish. Extracted from: https: // www.Independentspanol.com/style/bombardment-amer-swindler-abuse-B2020045.HTML?AMP
• Monge, m. (2021). What is love bombardment and why it is so harmful. Cuidateplus. Extracted from: https: // Cuidateplus.brand.com/Welfare/2021/02/12/Bombing-Amino-Nocivo-176736.HTML?AMP