Learn to say no 5 keys to express what you think

Learn to say no, it's not as difficult as one thinks. People who do not know how to say do not end by devising others leaving themselves aside. The approval and recognition they plan to need the other to feel valuable and recognized is just a belief. A belief that will become more demanding and will take away the freedom to do what they really want with their lives.

Content

• Why is it important to learn to say no?
• What are the causes and factors of not knowing how not?
  • 1. Education received
  • 2. Lack of assertiveness
  • 3. Avoiding conflict
  • 4. Be an influential person
• How can I say no?
  • 1. First you and then the others
  • 2. Learn assertiveness strategies
  • 3. Accept the conflict
  • 4. Be clear about your criteria
  • 5. Work in your self -esteem

Why is it important to learn to say no?

With Learn to say no, you will not be hurting anyone, much less will become one of our skills that will make our performance and happiness difficult. If we put other people the satisfaction of ours, it becomes a constant demand at the cognitive level, we stop living our lives to live those of others.

In extreme situations, when a person does not learn to say no, he focuses on a vicious circle in which we have more and more things to do, many of them without a real value for us, and we reach a level of stress as high as it is unnecessary. But, the significant thing is that we will not feel satisfaction for what is done, but that we develop more every day our demands towards others, frustration and sadness, but value us we do it for others.

What are the causes and factors of not knowing how not?

There are many causes that are behind this type of behavior. People who do not know how to say no, they usually have the following factors:

1. Education received

Sometimes parents educate their children in a way that they are servical and complacent and this teaches their children to refuse to say is not a symbol of bad education. Another way is that they can learn by imitation within the family circle, when he sees that the mother sacrifices for the family taking care of the grandfather when the rest of the uncles do not, and she despite complaining, never refuses to do so. So you will learn in this way that in the future it is seen carrying the same pattern.

2. Lack of assertiveness

Sometimes people do not refuse because they don't know how to do it assertively. Or they behave aggressively, which causes constant discussions or unnecessary confrontations, or they behave in an inhibited way which makes it not enough that the person says or that negative is not taken into account because it is not clear. Learn to say no and you will see how you will begin to respect yourself from the first moment that you accept that you are first than the others.

3. Avoiding conflict

Learn to say no, it does not mean that you are going to let people party. The majority of individuals not to enter controversies accept everything in order to keep peace around them although inside your interior you are rejecting you.

4. Be an influential person

In this case people are clear about what they want but when they look in the situation, the other party ends up convincing themselves otherwise And they do not refuse to say no and end up thinking the same as the other person. However, when they get home or leave the situation, they realize what they have really ended up accessing something they did not want and do not know very well how.

How can I say no?

The idea is not to say to everything that no, but we have to do only what we satisfaction contribution; If we do not do so, we will damage the self -concept we have of ourselves and start thinking about what can we learn to say no?

1. First you and then the others

Learn to say no, it will not make you a selfish person, you are simply taking care of yourself since you are not allowing them to take you at will. If you do not want to do something, it is important that you respect yourself, Because if not who will do it for you? It is time that you stop regulating yourself based on others and learns to say no.

2. Learn assertiveness strategies

If not knowing how not in an educated way and without hurting the person, Look for self -help books that allow you to learn tricks when communicating or look at someone who is assertive and tries to copy some phrases that that person uses to refuse.

Rathus assertiveness test

3. Accept the conflict

The important thing is that after a discussion it is best to reach a agreement And it also gives you information about the flexibility or rigidity of the person with whom you are relating.

4. Be clear about your criteria

If you turn everything you say, it may be important that when you are going to say no, Always keep in mind what you want and how you want it. Sometimes it is good to be flexible and give in, but not always so you don't lose sight of your goal.

5. Work in your self -esteem

The self-esteem It is one of the pillars that you must work to learn to value you before you that others and know how not to your priorities. Therefore, you must start building your self -esteem and work on your insecurities to put aside the lack of respect or value you have towards yourself.

Sometimes, when a person does not learn to say no, he ends up losing many freedoms in his life. That is why it is vital to start working on it from hand to a professional psychologist. And remember that before everyone else, you go yourself.

25 phrases to establish healthy limits

Bibliography

• Tartakovsky, M (2019). How and when to say no. Central psych.
• https: // psychcentral.com/LIB/LEARNING-TO-SAY-NO
• Novotney, a. (2009). Know when to say no. American Psychological Association, 40 (7).
• http: // www.APA.Org/Monitor/2009/07-08/Say-No