Forbidden love

How many people have the joy of living a relationship: full, stable, happy, intense, passionate, socially acceptable, economically solvent, spiritually in peace, etc?. Anyway, we could continue the list and it would seem to be a rather mythical and unattainable relationship.

However, idyllic or prohibited loves are more common than they believe, But although they meet part of the needs described above, in general the lovers dare to look for the most remarkable and inaccessible corners as we will realize next.

Content

• Types of "prohibited" love
  • Love between second -line relatives
  • Love between brothers
  • Love between people from different hierarchies and/or status
  • Love between members of different social classes
  • Love between people with a difference of ages
  • Savior loves
  • Loves between beautiful and the beast
  • Loves with different ideology
  • LOVES IN CONFLICT
  • Distance loves
  • Conscious loves - unconscious
  • Loves with Pinocchio Complex
• SUGGESTIONS FOR CHANGE
  • To know more

Types of "prohibited" love

Love between second -line relatives

On many occasions, family coexistence is promoting to value or recognize the qualities of a family member and coupled with proximity (social intimate contact) makes it easier for some people, easier to fall in love with uncles (as), cousins ​​( as), the brothers -in -law, etc. Of course, this type of love in general is lived and in some cases they are usually an open secret. Those who are consummated, generate Social rejection problems among family members themselves and can be subsequently marginalized.

Love between brothers

The Mexican film of the "Castle of Purity", revives this type of encounter, because the reduced coexistence between brothers and the experiences of abuse or sexual games can make this type of love a variant of the socially forbidden. The brothers who despite having a partner continue to see each other hidie.

Love between people from different hierarchies and/or status

The combinations are multiple: Master (O) -alumna (O), Chief (a) -subaltern (O), married (a)-Soltero (a), coach (ra) -alumno (a), etc. Keeping a person idealized is to a greater extent the support of this relationship. Very few get to consummate, making possible the impossible.

Love between members of different social classes

Even today it is common to find loves where either of the two has economic stability, but the other cannot give the life of certain luxuries to which one of them is accustomed. They are movie loves where, the myth of loving yourself deeply, subsana all the problems of the relationship and maintains it. The forecast is that when money is scarce, love goes out the window.

Love between people with a difference of ages

Enough to remember the song of the "Prince of the Song", José José: 40 and 20. In the difference of ages, each one seeks to meet their own needs, some feel young?, a son or daughter to whom to educate too. Psychoanalysts would say, they have unresolved conflicts with paternal or maternal figures. They are the publishes or the electras, in search of their half orange or unresolved parental relationship.

Savior loves

They are those codependent couples where unconsciously, one is the savior and the other the bran. The range of possibilities is also very much: the intellectual v.s. The ignorant, the problem solving v.s. The expert (a) to get into trouble, the addict V.s. The good Samaritan. Feeling necessary for the other and a terrible fear of taking responsibility for himself is the livelihood of this couple. Interestingly, each one believes himself responsible for the other, but a terrible fear of loneliness makes them stay together. In this category also enter those who have the Wendy or Peter Pan complex, that is, those who have more than a wife and who have a child to educate.

Loves between beautiful and the beast

With clear Differences in physical beauty Open or hidden from any of the members, in general they are criticized by those around them, but somehow the differences also attract in the election. One unconsciously thinks that he is doing the favor of the poor of the other.

Loves with different ideology

They may be Opposite forms of thought And they are generally "normal to live in conflict" because they militate in different political parties, or with different religions or simply because in the style of William Shakespeare with their work Romeo and Julieta, their families of origin have conflicts (the Montesco V.s. the capulet) and that is what paradoxically unites them. Fighting against current is his lifestyle and of course including himself.

LOVES IN CONFLICT

Generally from families of dysfunctional origin and in constant conflict as a lifestyle, They seek to live, the closest to the family models they already know. The conflicts are arranged by arguing, raising the voice, offending and if the other does not yield, there is no choice but to resort to the blows. Tuned in a very little different dynamic from that lived in childhood, they pass it to offend or be offended, where the opinion that counts is that of the member that maintains power. On the counterpart, there are those who decide to shut up so as not to generate more conflict, but still occurs precisely because they are silent.

Distance loves

Love from afar is not only idealized, but also spiritually nearby. We find them in people who travel constantly, in those who work or live in another country different from that of the official couple, with the use of current technology, they are also found on the Internet, they are loves that aware of this say: my boyfriend who Live in ... and apart they can have another partner everyone in their place of residence. Love from afar is from ... thinking. An important factor to highlight is the lack of commitment as constant and in person even if the commitment seems more important when the other person really is absent.

Conscious loves - unconscious

They are within the impressive and inexhaustible range of possible combinations, who may be apparently aware of living some of these situations, They do not change, although they know they need it. The saying "better as well as known than good to know" is their livelihood. Dysfunctional or predictable comfort even dysfunctional are the support of this type of couples. Interestingly, when they end a relationship, they have a very high probability of repeating the same conflict schemes with the new couple.

Loves with Pinocchio Complex

Practically from the beginning of the relationship, There is a pattern of lies that form your life. The lie can be present in one or both members and despite realizing it, they prefer to maintain the relationship, because there is the magical thinking that one day the other will change or that dreams or lies will come true Promised part of one or both, like the fairy of the story, converts flesh and blood to the wooden puppet. And all lies become a fantastic and wonderful reality.

In short, the range of possibilities of establishing some kind of love would be impossible to list and these are just an example of them. How expensive you want your emotional relationship to be?. This is your own responsibility.

SUGGESTIONS FOR CHANGE

• The most important: you can't change what has not become aware.
• Take into account that: For the world to change around me, I need to change I first.
• Go to professional help.

To know more

Barchete del Castillo María Esther (ET All) (1999). I want to be free. (From Codependence to positive participation). Promise. Mexico.
Barrera Juan Antonio (2005). Relationships (encounters and disagreements), dysfunctional couples, volume 2, psychological attention and treatment, Mexico (electronic book).
Beattie Melody (1996). Don't be codependent anymore. How to stop controlling the lives of others and starting with oneself. Promise, Mexico.
Sangrador José Luis (1982). Human interaction and social behavior. (Open Classroom), Attraction and Love, Salvat Editores, Barcelona.
Willi Jürg (2004). Psychology of Love, Herder Editorial, Barcelona.