Erotic love or love company What is safer and more reliable for life as a couple?

There are kisses that produce ravings of loving burning and crazy passion, You know them well are my kisses invented by me, for your mouth. Gabriela Mistral, Chilean poet.

Are desire, beauty, passion, tenderness and company compatible? While all of them have in common the concept of love, they can be sides other than coexistence in couple. They could even be opposite poles, but they can also be part of a process of consolidating the couple's coexistence over time.

At first, be captured by the image of a beautiful person, anyone crazy. And, beautiful from the point of view of the observer, not from an ideal of cultural and universal beauty that also does not exist.

In this sense, Beauty and attraction have not only biological components, but also contextual and temporal: For example, white and imperfections are synonymous with admiration and high social status in Japan, Korea and in general in Asia. In Europe, high, thin women, well -careful hair, with fasteners of large sizes and tanned skins in addition to toned are the ideal of beauty. On the other hand, in "the Kayan tribe of Thailand, women lengthen their necks putting numerous heavy bronze rings, and in its greater length, it will be its beauty and elegance" (Digital Journalist, 2021). "In Tayikistan, from ancient Rome and Greece, having a uniceja (Frida Kahlo style), was praised by poets and thinkers". (#Refugio Mental, 2019). Even today women in this region paint their eyebrow making it see how one, to look more attractive.

Beauty is as relative as every country, time and culture with which you look. And, in the same way, there is a double uniqueness to observe beauty: one is the cultural and relative to each country, and another the sensory and perceptual seal, present in each of us to contemplate it.

Therefore, although making an analysis of this is complex, there are general lines that allow us to observe asymmetric fluctuations (ugliness) and the symmetry of subjective beauty observed by a person.

Content

• What is passionate love and romantic love?
  • Some of its definitions of the Passionate Love concept
• What do we look for erotic or passionate love?
• What do we look for in love company?
• Curious and cultural data of physical attractiveness
• The entanglement between love passion and company
  • Happiness hormones
• By way of final reflection
  • References

What is passionate love and romantic love?

The worst, the most terrible, Is that living without him is impossible. Ruben Dario

Despite the differences of what we like in each country and in each person, we start from a common point. What do we understand for each concept?

As can be analyzed, Passionate love and romantic love: They have a metonymic function (have several synonyms) and polysemic (having several interpretations). Do not frighten my dear reader!, This means that there are different synonyms for interpreting passionate love; is also understood as erotic love, sexual love or passionate love.

Polysemy, it means that it has different interpretations: some authors relate it: with an intense desire, with superlative sexual passion or very high, with the desire to be and touch when loved or with a predominance of eroticism about tenderness.

Some of its definitions of the Passionate Love concept

"Passionate love; a state of intense union desire with another". (Franzoi, 2007). "Passionate love: love modality in which sexual passion and a high degree of emotional excitement They are their outstanding characteristics ... passionate lovers in general are very worried about the beloved person, They want their feelings to be reciprocal And usually they distress a lot when the relationship seems to fail ”. (APA, 2010, p. 24). Ludus love style according to Lee: "Eros. For the lover belonging to this type, love is the most important activity in life. There is strong desire to be with and touch the beloved; The individual anticipates pleasure in the relationship, He goes sincerely, and does not become possessive or fearful of possible rivals: he does not suffer for love ”. (Sangrador, 1982, p. 19). "Sexual love, It is the feeling in which Erotism about tenderness predominates and spirituality. When the attraction only contains physical desire, we say that a false crush has occurred ”. (Orlandini, 2004, pages. 21-22).

Passion, excitement, sexual desire, libido, drive, instinct and sexual motivation, would be the different interpretations to describe this type of love.

It is important to note that eroticism is one of the main components of falling in love and sometimes it is the only element. Corresponds to the beginning of a romantic relationship as a couple and is a less safe love.

In the case of company company exactly the same happens. Let's look at some conceptual definitions:

"Company love: Keen that we feel for those with whom our life is deeply intertwined". (Franzoi, 2007). “Love-West: It is a Deep and very affectionate attachment". (Myers, 1987, p. 476). "Sociable or Company Love: It is frequently found in marriages in which passion has gone, But there is great affection and commitment to the other. It usually happens with the people with whom life is shared, although there is no sexual or physical desire. It is stronger than the love, due to the extra element that is the commitment ". (Wikipedia, 2020). Of the triangular theory of the love of Robert Sternberg "commitment It would be the decision to love another person and The commitment to maintain that love in both good and bad times". (CORES, 2021). Love tenderness: is associated with the concepts of sweetness, maternal instinct, Erotic-protest instinct, children's attention behavior and dipe-traffic sexuality (distorted). (Orlandini, 2004, p. 23). "Love Commitment: Commitment is the conscious decision to love and maintain love for another person for an x ​​time or for a lifetime ”. (Orlandini, 2004, p. 33).

In the same way in metonymy or synonym, love company is: commitment, sociability and tenderness. And, in polysemy, its different interpretations are: affection, attachment, affection, commitment for the other, the decision to love in the good and bad times, and the decision to love the other for a lifetime.

In summary, passion love is more eroticism about tenderness and commitment and in company love, more tenderness and commitment on eroticism.

What do we look for erotic or passionate love?

If you live in the west and in some parts of Europe, people go after some ideals of beauty and physical attractiveness. In general, they present themselves sexual partialisms; These are parts of the body where more attention is paid than in others in sexual activity; face, eyes, teeth, neck, feet, hands, legs, etc.

The men They are concentrated in: a symmetrical face and teeth, an athletic or in -sharing figure, curviline or tan. In the case of women The partialisms are associated with: a symmetrical, non -child. I reiterate that it is a cultural construction and not a universal rule.

What do we look for in love company?

Although this type of love can be given among close friends, when it refers to the couple, seeks certainty in the love and respect of the other. He is interested in a maximum affective and sentimental expression, as well as a mutual commitment, solidarity, Common objectives (P. eg., Aging together or having joint projects), respect and other values ​​as human beings.

Curious and cultural data of physical attractiveness

“In the African continent, overweight women are the most attractive for the opposite sex since it indicates a high social status. In most African peoples, the woman is more beautiful the more shaved shears her head ". (Digital journalist, 2021). In the Masai tribe of Kenya, women who wear the lobes of the perforated and adorned ears are more beautiful. The same happens when the lips are deformed and perforated, wearing small dishes inserted in them.

In Oceania, the men and women of the Maori people in New Zealand are more attractive looking tattoos. Women only tattoo their chin and men all the face. Each design is unique and is part of its personality and history.

In Japan few people use orthopedic devices to show off a perfect denture. The concept of "Yaeba" is to have misaligned or piled up teeth and is considered as synonymous with beauty and tenderness. They rule out that it is necessary, correct what nature itself gives you. Mainly a denture of this type is observed in women.

"In Papua New Guinea, as well as in some African countries there is an ancient tradition of performing scars in the body" (#Refugio Mental, 2019). Men and women undergo this type of rituals, in both cases, are proof of their beauty.

The idea of ​​beauty is very different from one culture to another.

The entanglement between love passion and company

I hope to heal from you.
I hope to heal you in a few days.
I must quit smoking, drinking you, to think about you.
it's possible. Following the requirements of the moral in turn.
I prescribe time, abstinence, loneliness.
Jaime Sabines

As you can see, together, it is a love where neurobiological, biopsychological and evolutionary psychology predominates, whose purpose, in both types of love: it is reproduction (passionate love) and self -care, couple and offspring (love company). We seek, both things when choosing the most beautiful or attractive couple, intuitively we go behind the best genes and transcend.

Happiness hormones

We are not aware of this, but we are driven by testosterone and hormones of pleasure and happiness.

This quartet consists of:

• Endorphins: They are natural analgesics,
• serotonin: regulates sexual appetite and is related to the control of emotions and mood,
• Dopamine: It generates pleasure and the desire to repeat what we like, and
• Oxytocin: It causes us feelings of satisfaction, calm and security, associated with the union with a couple.

Erotic love is short -term and long commitment. Company love is realistic and mutual understanding. While the passion is erotic and idealistic. The company sees the couple's imperfections and is a love of attachment. The passionate hides imperfections and is sexual and instinctive. Company love seeks certainty, solidarity, altruism, certainty and respect. The passionate or erotic seeks pleasure for sex.

A very interesting aspect is that Erotic love, turns on the flame of love and at the same time can consume it and turn it off when you are not given noveld and rest times or replacement of desire.

However, it is more likely that despite this, it serves as a process to pass in some cases to the company company or accompaniment, where desire and passion are important, but not the main component. An element encrypted to consider in the extinction of erotic - passion Neither romantic.

"As we get used to a romantic relationship, the freshness and uncertainty of passionate love are replaced by a safer and reliable type of love (love company), if love survives". (Franzoi, 2007, p. 468).

By way of final reflection

The lovers shut up.
Love is the finest silence,
The most trembling, the most unbearable.
Jaime Sabines

It would be desirable. In the long term it is more stable to take care of the raising of children in physical care and emotional security and the prelude to the empty nest (when the children leave), to continue life as a couple and age together.

Both types of love are mediated by emotions. Passionate - erotic love is a love mediated by joy, And it is associated with feeling: craving, whim, delight, enjoyment, fun, charm, expectations, ecstasy, fervor, fierceness, gratification, humor, inspiration, motivation, pleasure, joy and vigor.

Meanwhile in Love Company - Commitment, emotions associated with love intervene: acceptance, admiration, affability, affection, attachment, goodness, warmness, affection, closeness, compassion, trust, cordiality, sweetness, empathy, esteem, faith, loyalty, patience, forgiveness, recognition, respect, respect, sentimentalism, sympathy, sociability, sublimation and tenderness.

References

• #Mental Refugio. (2019). Beauty canons in different countries of the world. [On-line]. https: // www.Youtube.com/watch?V = HRRSJ4USA6G
• CORES, n. (2021). What is the triangular theory of love? The seven ways to love, according to psychologist Robert Sternberg. [On-line]. https: // www.20 minutes.It is/news/4686865/0/que-is-the-the-triangular-of-love-las-siete-formas-de-a-to-second-the-psychologist-robert-setnberg/
• Franzoi, s. (2007). Social psychology. McGraw Hill.
• Orlandini, a. (2004). Falling in love and evil of love. Fund of Economic Culture.
• Digital Journalist (2021). Beauty: canons in different countries and cultures of the world. [On-line]. https: // www.journalististy.com/Magazine/beauty/20190627/Canons-Kelleza-Differents-Pais-Cultures-Mundo-Video-689403900132/
• Sangrador, j. L. (1982). Human interaction and social behavior. Salvat Open Classroom Editorial.
• Wikipedia (2020). Triangular love theory. [On-line]. https: // is.Wikipedia.org/wiki/theor%c3%ada_triangular_del_amor#: ~: text = love%20sociable%20o%20de%20compa%c3%b1%c3%ad, exists%20deseo%20sexual%20ni%20f%c3%adsic.