50 phrases from Albert Ellis about self -acceptance

Albert Ellis (1913-2007), was an American cognitive psychotherapist who, since 1955, developed the emotional behavioral rational therapy (TEC). Became considered the second of the most influential psychotherapists in history, even ahead of Sigmund Freud.

Albert Ellis famous quotes

The best years of your life are those in which you decide that your problems are just yours. It is not your mother's fault, ecology, or the president. One realizes the control of his own destiny.

We teach people to harm themselves. We can't change the past, so let's change how people think, feel and behave today.

In spite of everything, injustice has its good points. It offers me the challenge of being as happy as I can in an unfair world.

The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence.

You feel mainly on the way you think.

The attitude of unconditional self -acceptance is probably the most important variable in its long -term recovery.

All love is true who feels it, for feeling it.

Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has adorable features, but everyone is accepted just because they are alive and human.

People have reasons and thoughts of those who are not aware.

Even when people act unpleasantly towards yourself, do not condemn them or take reprisals.

There are three monsters that do not allow us to advance: I have to do well, you have to treat me well, and the world must be easy.

People and things don't bother us. On the contrary, we are bothered by believing that they can bother us.

Whatever, I am still largely the creator and the ruler of my emotional destiny.

You just have to exist as you do and live your life the best you can.

I teach people to be flexible, scientific and logical in their thoughts and, therefore, to be less prone to brainwashing by the therapist.

When a person faces adversity or an important problem, he solves it if he focuses on a creative way.

Every person has the capacity to change themselves.

When people change their irrational beliefs for non -dogmatic flexible preferences, they become less disturbed.

Make yourself that worrying about many situations will get worse instead of improving them.

The emotionally mature person must completely accept the fact that we live in a world of probabilities and random, where there is no, nor will there ever there will never be absolute certainties, and must realize that it is not horrible at all.

Happiness is greatly experienced in the search for an objective, not in the achievement of things, because our nature is always wanting to move on to the next task.

Err is human; forgive people and yourself for bad behavior is to be sensible and realistic.

Life is really difficult, partly due to the real difficulties that we must overcome to survive, and partly due to our own innate desire to do better, to overcome new challenges, to achieve self -realization.

I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology are in the school system. We have to teach all children how they rarely bother themselves and how to overcome disturbances when they occur.

If the Martians ever find out how human beings think, they would die of laughter.

Self -esteem is the greatest disease known by man or woman because it is conditional.

In fact, most of what we call anxiety is an excessive concern about what someone thinks of you.

When I began to disappoint myself with psychoanalysis, I read the philosophy again and remembered the constructivist notion that Epictetus had proposed 2 ago.000 years: "People are not disturbed by the events that happen to them, but for their vision". I could see how that applied to many of my clients.

Failure has nothing to do with its intrinsic value as a person.

The duty in yourself stops.

One of the most common costs of anger, probably the highest of all, is the damage it causes to our personal relationships. Interestingly, the relationships that are damaged are usually the best we have.

The emotions that undermine our main objectives and purposes in life are destructive and irrational. They are, fundamentally: depression, excessive anxiety, excessive anger and pronounced guilt.

Love is a human emotion that we perceive as "good", "beneficial" or "pleasant". An intense link between two or more people. Frequently, although not necessarily, including sexual attraction among lovers.

Actually, we can put the essence of neurosis in one word: blaming it, or condemning it.

The feeling of love is intermittent because we need to feel and concentrate on other activities and functions. Obsessive and permanent love would prevent us from functioning effectively. We would need psychotherapy!

A free and pleasant sexuality can contribute to our lives a good amount of harmless enjoyment and pleasure.

You built your depression largely. It was not given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.

Anxiety occurs when people demand doing everything right and feel that they do not have sufficient value as human beings if they do not. We should give up the ambition to live a perfect life and realize that we always act imperfectly, because we are fallible as human beings, and we can accept ourselves with those imperfections.

The problem with most therapy is that it helps you feel better. But not improvements. You have to support it with action, action, action.

Own defense is not always aggressive and self -destructive, but often implies that people do not accept the fact that they are doing something wrong that involves damage to others, and they protect themselves from this belief. If they assumed this belief and fully accepted themselves, if they were more unconditionally accepted, they would reduce that level of being defensive.

Being assertive does not mean attacking or ignoring the feelings of others. It means that you are willing to defend yourself fairly, without attacking others.

You really need what you want. That is the main and deep key of serenity.

Thinking rationally is often different from "positive thinking", in the sense that it is a realistic evaluation of the situation, with a view to rectifying the problem if possible.

The cost of provoking feelings of panic, anger or self -pity is enormous. In time and lost money. In unnecessarily wasteful effort, in mental anguish out of place. In the sabotage of the happiness of others. In the stupid waste of potential pleasure throughout the only life - yes, the only life - that will ever have.

In a culture like ours it is usual to marry for love, but sometimes it is also done for other reasons, economic, social or for fear of loneliness. And it is evident that you can love throughout a life many more people from those you marry.

By honestly recognizing our past mistakes, but never condemning for them, we can learn to use this past for our own future benefit.

We have a tendency to install self -destructive habits, in large part also because we learn it from our parents and our culture. Therefore, they are usually stronger and more difficult to uproot than the most positive and healthier beliefs.

Emotional literacy and tolerance can be achieved by granting other people the right to make mistakes, even when you disagree with them, but without rejecting or despising them as human beings for behaving in this way.

Our main erogenous zone is in our brain and our way of thinking. If we allow ourselves to think that anything we do is fine, even if it is not the best in the world, then we can face our sexuality and have healthy and satisfactory relationships.

It is rare and nothing normal for a person not to feel sexual attraction for other people, even being in love with a. Human sexual desires are deeply rooted in biological impulses in social learning. They are often promiscuous and indiscriminate.

Celebres Psychology phrases