10 phrases that should not be told to children

There are phrases that should not be told to children, since, with these expressions, many times without the adult noticing, it causes damage to the development and self -esteem of the little ones. From these phrases it is possible that their behaviors change and even receive or interpret a message that has never wanted to be transmitted, but that it hurts them.

Therefore, before speaking, it is worth knowing some phrases that should not be told to children.

Language and children

In the text on child protection that the General Family Directorate has prepared, mention is made of the importance of adults, especially parents, to communicate openly and effectively with children, understanding that Communication is not only what is transmitted to words, but encompasses everything that manifests itself, both verbally and gesturally, To inform about what is thought, feel, need, desired, rejected or what hurts or causes joy.

This explains why when parents communicate properly with the little ones, it is more feasible for children to do what they are asked, since children know what they expect from them.

However, some parents do not realize or cannot fail to disqualify or insult their little ones. There are few times that stop to think what effects this way of treating them has and how they could avoid verbal abuse.

In this sense, it should be emphasized that Children depend on the people of whom they receive love and care to confirm who and how they are. Based on the belief and expectations of their parents is that children develop their self -esteem.

If they are constantly denigrated, either with negative concepts or insults, the little More frequent, more will increase the potential to "incapacitate" child development, in academics, social or in any other area.

From the General Family Directorate it is considered that verbal abuse contributes to the development of the internal critic that blames instead of giving encouragement to children in difficult situations.

This can lead them to avoid challenges or let valuable opportunities in life for fear of failure. In the most extreme cases, it can lead to children suffering from depression, even if they obtain the desired achievements.

Therefore, it is worth considering what are the phrases that should not be told to children.

Phrases that should not be told to children

Among the phrases that should not be told to children are the following:

1. "Do not Cry!" On the contrary, it is necessary that the little ones can express their feelings, even if this implies crying, then, to be able to express the emotions is the first step to learn to handle them and then manage them.
2. “Look how well your brother does!" Many parents place a brother as a model, but this makes the little one feel little respect and valuation, which ends up negatively affecting their motivation and self -esteem. Comparisons can lead to envy. Instead of making comparisons, each child should be allowed to be authentic, understanding what he feels and helping him to express it.
3. "You always leave the messy room!" "Never" and "always" are two labels that children end up appropriating, so it will become a reality and will never order their room.
4. “Be careful to fall, you will hurt yourself!" This phrase is related to overprotection and it should be taken into account that children can take the insecurities and anxiety of adults around them. In this sentence, what has weight is the emotional tone with which it is expressed, which scares them and makes them feel anxious.
5. "If you eat everything, there will be no dessert", "If you behave badly, you will not come the kings": This award and punishment strategy is not effective and has been outdated. Although in the short term the blackmail may result, it is more effective to work with children considering agreements that allow the little ones to collaborate.
6. "You should feel shame when speaking like this": With shame and guilt, the child will feel that it is worth it. This concept should not always be associated with negative aspects of behavior, but could be used to better channel social relations, based on mutual respect.
7. "If you ignore, I leave you and leave": One of the biggest fears of children is the abandonment of their parents.
8. "You don't know how to do it, leave me": This phrase can make them feel helpless and are not able to do things well, which can affect their trust and self -esteem.
9. "Give him a kiss, go, give him a kiss": Children are the ones who should choose whether or not they want to kiss. Instead, other options can be given to be educated, such as launching a kiss, hitting the five, greeting with the hand, among others, respecting their autonomy in development, without insisting or forcing them.
10. "Leave me alone": It is true that parents may need time to be alone, but if this phrase is repeated frequently, children will end up believing that parents want to be far from them.

These are some of the phrases that should not be told to children in order to avoid causing emotional or psychological damage.

Bibliography

• Argüello Ospina, C. (2011). Education for Liberty-The game from a philosophical perspective of education (Master's ahesis, Uniandes).
• From the neighborhood, V., Navarro, m. D. F., & Escrivá, M. V. M. (1994). Self -esteem and depression in children. Magazine of General and Applied Psychology: Magazine of the Spanish Federation of Psychology Associations, 47 (4), 471-476.
• General Directorate of the Family (2006). Child protection: the role of the family.
• Muslera, m. (2016). Emotional education in children aged 3 to 6.